.
Lou? Even if he divorced her, he would have to fork over alimony for the rest of his life while she would have the freedom to run around with other men on his dime. For all he knew, she was doing that now, fucking around when he was working so hard to take care of her and the kid. The thought that she might possibly be so heartless, so lacking in appreciation of his efforts to sustain them, filled him with rage.
He was doomed to be a lineman forever – a thought that overwhelmed him, filling him with sadness. One day, it would all be over – he would become entangled in electric wires, electrocuted, burnt to a crisp, or simply fall to his death from stress and exhaustion.
He now understood what his father went through during and after his divorce. His mother wouldn’t let go, used the courts to blackmail him for years, until her recent death. Fortunately, Dad had the wherewithal to fight and win most of Gloria’s lawsuits. But he, Danny, would be a sitting duck for Mary Lou’s spite and greed, without the money to legally protect himself.
No way out. He was stuck, Danny thought, his life sucked away by this marriage, this woman. He fantasized about suffocating her with a pillow and transporting her body to a place where it would never be found. He would bury her on his father’s Wyoming game preserve or throw her body into a ravine where she would be devoured by wolves.
At night, when he climbed into bed, he would study Mary Lou as she slept, watch her breathe, her movements, faint sounds emanating from her throat, try to imagine how he could unburden himself of this parasitic woman who had imprisoned him.
But Danny knew her disappearance would result in a manhunt and a search for her body. The police would regard him with suspicion. The very thought of these complications stopped him. Besides, he wasn’t a particularly good liar. And even if he got away with murder, little Charlie would be without a mother. Ultimately, the boy might grow up wondering if he, Danny, had something to do with her disappearance. He didn’t want to hurt Charlie. Whether the kid was really his flesh and blood was open to question, what with Charlie having been given Mary Lou’s maiden name, Smith, at birth before they were married. But what did that matter? He loved Charlie just the same.
For now, he must erase these fantasies from his consciousness and seek options that would make his life more bearable.
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