Mojo Mama Secrets. Nedahl Stelio
Just to me.
That day, even though it was cold, I wore flat sandals to push my little one on the swing at the park, just so I could continue to stare at my dazzling toes. I could see the other mums look at my feet, probably wondering how I was daring to bare them in the wind, but I liked to think they were getting inspired to paint their own toenails when they got home. And in doing so, get a faint connection to their old self again.
That’s when I realised that taking time out, even just those five minutes, could make an enormous difference to my psyche. Within half an hour I’d called – and actually spoken to – a friend, changed out of my sloppy pants and said no to the almond croissant tempting me at the coffee shop.
And slowly, but surely, I worked on getting my mojo back (because yes, unfortunately you do need to work at it, it won’t just miraculously reappear on its own). It wasn’t easy, and didn’t happen overnight, but good things tend to take time.
This book is for mums, and soon-to-be-mums who feel like their life has escaped from them. A little bit, or a lot. Who feel like they’ve lost themselves amongst children and work and life and wife-ing or girlfriending and probably cleaning and cooking and most definitely washing. Oh God, the washing.
It’s for mums who are completely ready to begin focusing on themselves again. This takes time. Weeks for some, months for others and years for others still. Do it when you’re completely ready. Because if you’re perfectly happy stomping about in trackies and letting hair grow in places that haven’t seen hair for years, that’s perfectly fine, I’m not about judging. Everyone should take as long as they like. Enjoy the new mumdom. Bask in it, relish it, savour it, have a bath in it. And then, if and only if, you feel like you need to stick a toe out of the water, this book will be here, ready and waiting.
Whether you need your own epiphany moment or whether painting your toenails is so far down on your priority list you think I’m insane, know this: Mothers need time to themselves, full stop. Whether it’s taking a pottery class or flaking out in front of trashy TV. This book is going to empower you to find different ways to make that time, and to help you feel better about yourself. Because no matter what is happening in our lives, we all deserve to feel good.
Step 1: Mojo Mama Style
“I was a new mum, stuck in my own world with no family around to help, totally out of my depth. I’d always been a career woman and didn’t ever stop to think about how this baby thing would work. One day I wandered down to the local shops in my trendy suburb wearing pyjama pants. In my tired, foggy brain, I really believed they could pass for pants, and it didn’t hit me until days later: I had walked around in pyjamas thinking that was okay! I mean, they were pyjama pants. I just had no idea how much the mothering would take out of me.” Georgie, 40.
There are two parts to this. First up is:
1. Dress like a Mojo Mama
This is about how to dress yourself when you have,
a) Spent the last five years reading parenting books, not fashion magazines.
b) Can’t squeeze into anything you love, and,
c) Don’t have a lot of spare cash right now. You’re more into buying nappies, funnily enough.
Let’s get one thing straight. Fashion is not scary, no matter how out of the loop you may feel. You don’t have to dress like a Victoria’s Secret supermodel mother in every outfit (ahem, Heidi Klum).
We’re rediscovering the old you, in the new you’s life. Your new life needs more clothes that I call “Easy Chic”. Pieces that can work everyday, from work to weekend, while being stylish enough to make you feel good, but comfortable enough to rumble with the kids without fear of ruining anything (so we can finally get out of the stretch pants!) Then there will be “going out” clothes, but they won’t take up the majority of your wardrobe anymore.
Easy Chic is how Nicole Richie and Jessica Alba dress on a daily basis. They team pieces together that are never sloppy, always polished and as a bonus, are comfortable. Yes, they’ve made an effort, but it all works together seamlessly. It’s not a difficult way to dress – I’m not asking you to channel fashion gurus Kate Moss or Gwen Stefani’s original style. Easy Chic can be learned with just a few basic pieces to build your wardrobe around. It’s perfect for mums who work from home and want to feel like they belong to the land of the living. You can even wear the same pieces to an office if you work in a more relaxed environment, but if you work in a corporate office then you’ll probably need a separate work wardrobe.
If you’re a stay-at-home mum, nobody’s expecting you to look like you’ve walked out of the pages of a fashion magazine, but you don’t have to look like you’ve dumped the whole notion of style either. Looking good in your clothes means feeling good. Because remember, you deserve to feel good every day.
Your “slouching around the neighbourhood with the kids” wardrobe:
Leave the trackies and puffer vests at home. These should be on high rotation:
•Short and long-sleeved t-shirts you can mix with bottoms.
Left to right: Bassike, J Crew, Splendid
•A decent sweater that’s fit for public consumption (ie. No balling)
Left to right: J Crew, Banjo & Matilda, Max Mara
•A casual, comfortable jacket
Left to right: Rag & Bone, Burberry Britt, DKNY
•A pair of jeans. If you’re not a jeans person, then a loose-ish, jersey maxi dress
Left to right: All jeans by TopShop
•One pair of loose, light pants (like cargo pants or printed, elastic waist pants).
Left to right: Thakoon Addition, TopShop, TopShop
•A pair of flattering shorts
Left to right: See by Chloe, Frame Denim, Marc Jacobs
•A pair of cool trainers like Converse or old school Pumas.
Left to right: Superga, Converse, Sam Edelman
•Nice flats for when you want to mix it up.
Left to right: Yosi Samra, KAANAS, Vince
If you spend your days with the children, going to the park and the shops or other kid-friendly activities, this is all you’ll need. Add a pair of thongs (flip flops) in summer.
Jessica Alba shows us how to perfect “Easy Chic”. Note the blazer, jeans,