Further Adventures of "Dirty Joe" Callihan. Joe Callihan
the man said, “Do you mean these? They’re mine. I brought them with me to check and see if you had this size, and you didn’t, so I’m going elsewhere to look.” At this, both the Assistant Manager and Bill were giving me stares as if to say, “What have you gotten us into Joe. We don’t want or need a lawsuit.” But I knew exactly what I had clearly seen with my own eyes. So I spoke up and said, “He’s lying, I watched him open the box and place those nuts and bolts inside his pocket.”
Bill then asked, “Sir, would you mind coming back into the store with us?” Very calmly the man said, “No, I don’t mind. But I must tell you, I don’t like being hassled and called a thief like this. I may very well notify my lawyer.” Again I got that look of fear from both Mr. Wilson and the Assistant manager. “Don’t let him scare you, I said. He is both a liar and a thief, and I can prove it!” Bill said, “If you’ll just come back to the hardware department, I think we can get this cleared up.” The old guy boldly said, “O.K. but I’m calling my attorney just as soon as we’re done!” Those guys gave me that look again, and I was getting pretty tired of seeing it on their faces. It looked like I was the only one not afraid of this guy’s antics.
When we got to the department, I told them which aisle to look in, and showed them where I was and how clearly I could see the guy. I said it was the noise of his efforts to open the box of nuts and bolts which had first attracted my attention. It turns out the plastic box was a variety pack of various sized nuts and bolts, which sold for only $2.99. There were six choices in nut sizes, and a matching number of bolts. Each compartment held 30 nuts and 30 bolts, top row being bolts, and the bottom row nuts. The boxes were neatly stacked in five rows, each having four sets of boxes, twenty in all. At first, looking in the front row, there were only closed boxes. Bill looked up at me with an angry look on his face. “Look in the last row!” I told him. He did, and the bottom box which the old man had put there, had the seal on both sides cut open, just as I had said. Bill, having in his hand, the nuts and bolts the old man had produced from his pocket, opened the box and found the matching sizes. The old man had taken three of the nuts and three of the bolts. Finding the corresponding sizes, Bill began counting, first the nuts, then the bolts, out loud, in front of the old man and the rest of us.
When he had finished counting, there were exactly 27 nuts and 27 bolts. Looking up at the old guy Bill said, “I think we’ve got you!” He just hung his head and said, “Yeah, I guess you have.” At this, Bill, the store assistant and I accompanied the old man back to the security office for an interview while waiting for the police to arrive.
We barely had gotten inside when the old guy asked to use the rest room, claiming we had scared the pee out of him. “Sure you can go, Bill said. But not alone,” telling the assistant manager to accompany him. In a short while, the assistant manager returned with the old man and promptly left. Then there came a knock on the door. It was the assistant manager with something in his hand. Showing us the bicycle bell which sold for $3.95, the assistant said to the man, “Sir, I believe this belongs to you.”
No, that’s not mine! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he defiantly declared. “Sir, looking under the stall I watched you remove it from your shorts pocket, and place it behind the toilet.” “O.K., you got me again! Yes, I had it on me!” “Since we caught you outside of the store, I don’t suppose you had any plans to pay for the bell either” Bill asked. “Look! You got me O.K.? I don’t know what I’m going to tell my wife. I’ve never gotten caught at this before. She’s going to kill me when she finds out!”
Here comes the good part. During the interview, we discovered this man had a summer home up north, and a winter home in Florida. Bill got really frustrated by this news. He looked directly at the man and said to him, not really as a question, but a matter of fact. “I suppose since you can afford a home up north and one down here, you easily could have paid the $2.99 for the nuts and bolts, and the $3.95 for the bicycle bell?” “Yeah, I could have!” The old man answered. “Then let me tell you something, Bill said. You ARE going to pay for them, and it’s going to be a LOT MORE than you thought!” I was so proud of what Bill had said, and the way in which he said it. That’s telling it like it is!
Chapter Six
Three Cheers for Video Tape!
This next story has to do with my catching a very cleaver professional shoplifter. The Kmart had suffered one of its worse shoplift thefts ever. A cleaver, professional thief had managed to steal over $15,000.00 from the hardware and automotive departments in just one month. No one had ever seen him doing his theft, and no one had any idea of what he, or she, looked like. All they knew was they were short $15,000.00 worth of merchandise.
Both Bill and I wanted this jerk caught so he could do some hard time. As the hardware department was directly across from the Appliance department where I worked, I felt sure if I watched closely enough, I could catch him or her. The good news was we had just begun carrying portable video cameras. In fact, we had a working model, complete with VHS tape, locked inside our front display counter. I had the keys to the lock, and could take it out to demonstrate when needed. Was that a Blessing or what?
One afternoon I happened to look over into the hardware department, and caught sight of a guy who was scanning the horizon very carefully. I’ll bet that’s my guy, I thought to myself. Opening the display case I quickly removed the camera. It was fully charged and ready to go. So away I went! I went down and across from the aisle he was in. I went into the men’s wear department and stood about 150 feet away, and began taping the thief.
Using the powerful telephoto lens, I was able to capture his every move, from the head looking back and forth, to his tearing open the cardboard box containing a $29.99 Black & Decker Saw, so he could fill it with expensive drill bits, saw blades, and assorted expensive goodies. Then I recorded his effort to neatly reseal the box before heading to the front checkouts to pay the $29.99 for the “would be” saw. I was so delighted my plan had worked. He had absolutely no idea he was being filmed on my version of “Candid Camera.” It took all I could manage, to keep from calling out to him saying, “Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!”
More good news was the fact that I managed to flag down one of the ladies working in men’s wear, and had her get Bill Wilson to join me. Bill, after seeing enough, went to the front checkouts to await the thief’s arrival. When the guy left for the front of the store, I quickly replaced and locked the camera back in the display case, and waited for the call. When it came, I rushed to the front, knowing exactly who I would be looking for.
But to my surprise, Bill was leading the cooperative man back to the security room. The guy was after all, a professional. He felt calm and certain he could weasel his way out of this, much like the old man had felt. He kept asking, while being questioned, “What’s this all about?” “You know what it’s about, Bill said. You’re a Damn THIEF! That’s what it’s about!”
Being a professional shoplifter, He waited until the arrival of the police before making his case. “They are falsely accusing me of being a thief. I was going to pay for the items at the front checkout, but I was never given the chance. Then pulling out his wallet, he displayed five, hundred dollar bills. “How much was the amount of theft?” the officer asked Bill. He had totaled it, and it had come to $467.00 plus tax, or very close to $500.00.
Looking at Bill, the officer asked, “Do you wish to allow him to pay, or are you going to press charges.” He did not know that question was a no brainer. “Put the Damn Thief in Jail! Get his ugly face out of my sight!” Bill angrily replied. The poor thief looked disappointed that Bill had turned down his “generous” offer to pay. He looked so sad. So I decided to add to his sorrow.
As the policeman was getting ready to lead him away in cuffs I said, “Hey Jerk! I’ve got your antics on camera. You can watch yourself at your trial. Then try to buy your way out of that one! I hope you get hard time, and lots of it!” Needless to say, our shoplifting monthly losses declined by a large amount after his capture. What kind of HUGE REWARD did I get from K-Mart? “You did a good job Joe!”
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