Ripcord (TCG Edition). David Lindsay-Abaire
you.
(Marilyn looks disappointed. She works on her sudoku. After a couple beats . . .)
What do you mean, you put in a special request?
MARILYN
I talked to Miss Larusso. I said, is there any way to get some peach cobbler on the menu. And she said, I bet we could arrange that, let me talk to the kitchen.
ABBY
You just asked her and she said, no problem.
MARILYN
She’s very nice to me.
(Scotty reenters with their medication.)
ABBY
Did you hear that, Scotty? Miss Larusso is very nice to Marilyn.
SCOTTY
Well Marilyn is very nice to Miss Larusso. Funny how that works. (Gives Marilyn her pills in a paper cup)
MARILYN
(Referring to her cup of pills) Say, Bartender, can you make mine a double?
SCOTTY
Oh, I think you’ve had enough, ma’am. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to cut you off.
(They have a little laugh.)
MARILYN
(To Abby) We do that every day.
ABBY
Yes, I know.
(Marilyn swallows her pills down, then hands the cup back to Scotty. He moves over to Abby, and hands her her pills.)
SCOTTY
Here you go.
ABBY
(To Scotty) Talk to Larusso for me. Please. Just put in the request.
MARILYN
What request?
ABBY
Chicken and dumplings. If you can ask for cobbler, I can ask for dumplings. (Downs her pills)
MARILYN
Did Scotty show you his card? He’s an actor, you know.
ABBY
You’re an actor?
SCOTTY
Well, not professional.
ABBY
(Smiles) No?
MARILYN
Give her a card, Scotty.
ABBY
Yes, Scotty, give me a card.
SCOTTY
Sure. Here ya go. (Gives her a postcard)
MARILYN
He was handing them out at lunch. It’s a postcard for the play he’s in.
SCOTTY
It’s not a play.
MARILYN
Oh, I misunderstood. I thought it was a play.
ABBY
(Reading from the card) “Beelzebub’s Den.”
SCOTTY
It’s a haunted house.
MARILYN
Well that’s even better than a play.
SCOTTY
Some friends of mine rent out a warehouse in Pottsville every year, and decorate it, and we get into makeup and costumes. It’s pretty scary.
ABBY
Weird thing to invite residents to.
SCOTTY
I thought it’d be fun for everyone to see what I do outside of this place.
ABBY
Does Miss Larusso know you want to give us all heart attacks?
SCOTTY
No one’s gonna have a heart attack.
ABBY
It says on the card, “Heart-stopping horror!” Heart. Stopping.
MARILYN
I’d like to go.
ABBY
Yes, I think that’s a wonderful idea. You should go.
MARILYN
I’m gonna!
SCOTTY
Excellent! Thanks, Marilyn. That puts me at thirty-nine!
ABBY
Thirty-nine what?
SCOTTY
Tickets. Me and my buddies need to sell forty each to break even on the cost of that warehouse.
MARILYN
Oh, you have to come, Abby. You’d make it forty!
ABBY
No, I don’t think so.
MARILYN
He needs to sell tickets! And we should support Scotty and his dreams.
SCOTTY
It’s not exactly a dream, it’s just—
MARILYN
All the nice things he does for everyone around here?
ABBY
What nice things?
MARILYN
Making our beds, bringing our pills . . .
ABBY
That’s his job. He’s not changing your sheets because he’s nice, he’s doing it because that’s what he gets paid to do.
MARILYN
It’s a twelve-dollar ticket. Throw the kid a bone.
ABBY
I will not.
(Beat.)
SCOTTY
And you wonder why people won’t do you any favors.
ABBY
What favors? Larusso?
SCOTTY
You want me to talk to her for you, and yet—
ABBY
Now wait a minute. Are you saying you’d be more inclined to put in a good word if I went to your spook house?
SCOTTY
All I’m saying is, it would’ve been a nice gesture. That’s all.
ABBY
I didn’t realize you were a scratch-my-back kinda guy, Scotty.
SCOTTY
Well you don’t really know me, do you.
MARILYN
You know, I’m happy to talk to Larusso if you really want dumplings so badly.
ABBY
No, I want Scotty to do it. He knows the kind I like.
(Beat.)
SCOTTY
I do. And if you’re a little nicer I can try to get them for you.
ABBY
Fine. I’ll see the damn show.
SCOTTY