UNHEROIC. Marcus Calvert
a black bandolier, and a quiver full of arrows slung across his back. He also carried an ornate, traditional daikyu, or Japanese longbow. The weapon was made up of wood, bamboo and leather, with a striped pattern of black and red. Without even a wince of pain, Muehlik ripped the first arrow from his chest and tossed it over his shoulder.
The human quickly turned and disappeared from the roof’s edge. Muehlik grinned and jumped two stories up. He gracefully landed on the rooftop and gave chase. From rooftop to rooftop they raced. But while the masked archer had a nice head start, the vampire was faster and jumped farther. With an inhuman leap, Muehlik sailed over his prey and landed in front of him. As soon as his feet hit the rooftop, Muehlik spun to face the human with a cocky grin.
“Let me guess,” asked Muehlik in slightly-accented English, “You’re some kind of vampire hunter?”
“Nope,” the masked human replied as he approached the vampire with a slow, confident stride. “I’d have brought the right tools.”
The human dropped his longbow onto the rooftop. Intrigued, Muehlik folded his arms and allowed the human to approach. By now, his chest wound had completely healed.
“Someone hired you to kill me then?”
“I’d have killed you while you slept. And again: I’d have brought the right tools. I guess you don’t run into too many cat burglars, eh?”
The burglar stopped just out of Muehlik’s reach.
“Then you’re some sort of vigilante thief from Brooklyn then?”
“Jersey, bitch,” the thief testily replied.
Muehlik scowled with murderous intent. Yet his piqued curiosity held him in check for now.
“And since you can’t guess worth a damn, I’ll just have to clue to you in.”
“Out with it,” Muehlik growled.
“Okay,” the thief shrugged. “I was busy stealing that antique longbow I just shot you with.”
The vampire glanced over at the weapon in apparent disbelief.
“Honest,” the thief scratched his masked chin. “It’s about four hundred years old and worth a lot of yen to an uptown collector, who wishes to remain anonymous.”
“So you just happened along, saw me feed, and figured you’d shoot me through the heart?”
“Actually, I was looking for some homeless guys to test it out on. I wanted to see if this thing still worked. When I saw you feeding, I thought this was my lucky day.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because word was that the bow’s magical,” the thief replied with clear disappointment. “According to legend, it’s supposed to kill monsters. And how often do you get to use a legendary weapon against an honest-to-God monster these days?”
“Well,” Muehlik chuckled. “Some legends are truer than others.”
With a cruel smile, the vampire moved in with a blur of speed. Muehlik lashed out with his right hand, grabbed the thief by the throat and lifted him off the rooftop. As the thief vainly tried to break the vampire’s grip, Muehlik ripped off the thief’s mask with his left hand. Underneath the mask was a sweaty, slightly-overweight white male in his early 30’s. The vampire paused to take in the thief’s goatee, curly brown hair, and the look of a trapped animal in his eyes.
“The name’s Muehlik,” the vampire politely stated with a slightly-tighter squeeze on the thief’s throat. “What’s your name?
“Call me ‘Nada’,” gasped the thief.
“Hmm. Nice to meet you, Mr. Nada.” Muehlik hungrily grinned. “Now, unless you’re into being dessert, you’re going to tell me all about that valuable bow and your uptown buyer.”
“Okay-okay-okay!” Nada gasped. “His name’s –“
Muehlik suddenly grunted in pain. Weakened from head-to-toe, he dropped Nada. The vampire’s waning focus diverted to the difficult task of staying on his feet. Nada rubbed his throat with relief as he backed away a few steps. The vampire’s vision blurred and he stumbled to his knees. After a few feeble attempts to rise, Muehlik’s body gave out and he rolled onto his left side. Nada gave the vampire a thin smile as he pulled out a small radio and said something in Japanese.
“The arrows,” Muehlike gasped. “They were drugged!”
“I didn’t drug the arrows,” Nada replied with a devilish smile. “I drugged the whore you fed on.”
The vampire scowled up at the thief before he lost consciousness.
Muehlik slowly came to and found himself on the floor of a warehouse. Crates were stacked all around him. It was daytime. Contrary to legend, sunlight didn’t burn his skin on contact. Instead, the direct exposure to sunlight had weakened him to the point of almost being human. In addition, he was bound neck-to-toe in thick chain as if in an oversized cocoon. Even if he had his full strength back, Muehlik doubted that he could’ve broken free.
“Comfy?” Nada’s mocking voice calmly asked.
Furious, Muehlik craned his head toward his captor. Nada stepped into view and sat on a crate with a sawed-off 12-gauge pump gun in hand.
“Guess I had the right tools after all, eh?”
“When I get out of this, I swear I’ll find you. I know your face. I have your scent. I can find you anywhere in the world!”
The thief chuckled and replied, “If you’re alive in a month, I’ll be very impressed.”
Muehlik paused, confused for a moment.
“You’re not a thief, are you?”
“Nope,” Muehlik replied. “I’m just a talented merc-for-hire who ended up in Japan. The food sucks. The women are too short. But the level of corruption here makes it a great place to do freelance work.”
“Who sent you?” Muehlik asked.
“It’s a three-for-one,” Nada grinned. “See, Client #1 was one of the local yakuza families, who paid me to get you off their turf. They must’ve been annoyed by the trail of dead hookers – their dead hookers – you were leaving behind.”
Muehlik cursed himself for not leaving Japan sooner. But he tended to get sloppy whenever he felt a need to “binge feed.” And he so loved Japanese blood.
“And the second client?”
“A very nice Russian lady’s coming to take you off my hands,” the thief replied as he checked a wall clock. “I don’t know who she works for but they’ve got deep pockets. I was paid ten times more money than the Yaks were offering me to ice you.”
“Russian? What does she want me for?” Muehlik asked with sudden anxiety on his face.
“She wouldn’t say. But I checked into her background and had nightmares.”
Meuhlik eyed Nada with rising dread.
“Let me put it this way. Her dad used to work for Stalin back in the day. He experimented on prisoners. Some said he was trying to create a super-soldier process to use against the Nazis, or something like that. You could also say that she followed in her papa’s unfinished footsteps. Only, she specializes in mystical creatures – like you. From what I hear, none of her subjects lasts more than a few days.”
Olga Besekov. Muehlik had heard of her. Vampires mentioned her name in frightened whispers.
The thief shifted the 12-gauge to his left hand and picked up a huge syringe. As he squirted some of its contents into the air, Muehlik got a whiff and figured that it was some kind of sedative. The vampire struggled to break free as the thief approached. But the chains were too thick. Even if he hadn’t been chained, the daylight had temporarily erased his invulnerabilities. Once in total darkness,