Radical Chemo. Thomas Mahon
possible. Offer a subtle, wry smile. In this way, you’ll give your Nazi interrogator the distinct impression that marijuana use is not a big deal. Let them know, by your body language, that weed is not a “real” drug. Reefer heads are not bad, nor are they dangerous; after all, Cheech and Chong were certainly not evil or dangerous people! They’d never hurt anyone and neither would you. Point out that the weed whackers of the world would never storm a bank in a rage and shoot its occupants. Tell them that, if this person had smoked out that morning, they would have breezed into the bank and passed out hugs, not bullets.
YOU may be asked if you use other drugs like cocaine, ecstasy or heroin. Your reaction, even though you may be helping yourself to these new substances, should be one of absolute horror and shock. Exclaim, “Absolutely not! Do you really think I would be that stupid? People who use those drugs are idiots. People can overdose or die on sh_ _ like cocaine.” Of course, we’re implying, oh so subtly, that pot is not a real drug. If you’re a good enough actor, you can really drive home this point. You can also divert attention away from your cocaine or heroin use.
THE fascist dictator may ask you where you got your weed. Be very careful here; a truthful answer could wreck your supply line, as well as expose other people to unwanted scrutiny. This question must never be answered honestly. Start by saying, “Some guy gave me the pot.” If pressed for a specific name, give only first names. Say, “His name is Ricky. I don’t know his last name.” Remember that this Ricky does not live in your neighborhood. He does not attend your school. He does not work in the company. He’s not a friend, nor is he a relative. Like Deepthroat, Ricky is that shadowy figure lurking in the darkened parking garage. He’s a mystery man and nobody knows his true identity. Of course, we know that Ricky is someone you know very well, but they don’t have to know that.
IF asked when you’re going to stop using pot, tell them you’re not a user. Remind this fool that you only smoke on special occasions and don’t need the stuff. Feed them that line of bull from the 1980s that marijuana isn’t physically addictive. Pray they don’t cite the recent report showing more teens in drug rehab, for pot smoking, than for all other drugs combined. That would not be cool. Tell them, “Sure I tried it, but who doesn’t?” If it’s a school administrator asking the questions, imply very strongly that 80% of his teaching staff has tried marijuana at one time or another. If you’re real bold, suggest that he/she has tried pot. Let them chew on that one for a minute.
WHENEVER you get the chance, always extol the virtues of hemp. Tell them how wonderful hemp works with clothing products. Remind them that weed can help treat many ailments: AIDS, nausea from chemotherapy and glaucoma deficiency. Cite the recent study that claims marijuana use may help prevent Alzheimer’s. Offer to bring this nit-wit a copy of High Times so he can read it for himself.
Reaction to the Playbook
When I give the playbook to my students I watch them carefully. Two years ago, I got rave reviews from my 5th hour class. You would have thought this was material worthy of Jay Leno. Several of them giggled and stole knowing glances at one another. “This is great!” they said, slapping their knees. “This is so true!” I know that, I tell them. I’m not logging my twenty-sixth year in high school for nothing. I also know that the kids who giggle could, very well, be the one’s using pot. I certainly hope not, but they might be.
Last year, the playbook bombed with my 4th hour. Their faces said it all: This is interesting but nothing that relates directly to us. They clipped the handout into their notebooks and calmly waited for the next topic. There were probably no pot users in that class. I was a little bummed out by the lack of feedback, but I was happy to be teaching a class full of lucid individuals.
The Cancer of Justifications
Let’s consider what Cognitive Dissonance might say about the issue of marijuana use. Thought #1: I smoke marijuana. Thought #2: I know marijuana is bad for me. So, in order to maintain these two cognitions at their current levels, the user would have to pile on justifications. And just what are those justifications when it comes to pot use? Well, you’re already read the Pot Users Playbook. It’s full of them. All too often, I’m afraid to say, the issue usually plays out in the following manner: Thought #1: I smoke pot. Thought #2: Pot is not a real drug. There’s little danger to it.
And so we have millions of people in America walking around convinced the preceding cognitions are perfectly consonant, in relation to one another, and thus fine. One student asked me if I had ever used marijuana. “No,” I responded. “Drugs have never interested me. I watched my grandfather die of lung cancer. My parents smoked and I’ve always been repulsed by any kind of cigarette. It’s not that I’m an extremely moral person with extraordinary self-control,” I told her. “I’m a common sinner like everyone else. I’m just no more interested in using drugs than I am climbing Mt. Everest. I guess I’m just lucky on that score. But not to worry. I have plenty of other vices.”
I’m not sure all of my students believe me when I say this, but I’m okay with that.
This student then asked me why I’ve never used marijuana. She wanted to know what my justifications were for staying clean. I had to admit, it was a very good question. I paused and began to tick them off. As I stated earlier, my parents cured me of the smoking thing. I had asthma as a kid and teenager, so that might have something to do with it. Since I’ve always been athletic, I see marijuana as extremely counterproductive in this endeavor. I don’t want to turn into an apathetic goofball. I don’t want all that crap in my system for my liver to filter out. I don’t want lung cancer. Finally, believe it or not, I’m afraid I would like it too much.
This last justification always gets raised eyebrows from my students. What do you mean? I tell them that, by and large, I’m a laid-back person. I like smooth and calm seas. And I’m absolutely convinced that my drug of choice would be alcohol, marijuana or most other types of depressants. That scares me a little. I’m not kidding. I also share with them an article written by Joe Kollin, a reporter for the Sun-Sentinel. It appeared in the local section on September 10, 2005 and it deals with Marijuana Court that we now have in Broward County, Florida.
…The court is focusing on marijuana, once considered a recreational drug, because it isn’t any more, according to Doug Hughes, executive director of the safety council and Florida’s former drug czar. “Marijuana today isn’t the marijuana our parents knew,” he said. It is so strong and addictive that Broward hospital emergency rooms now routinely treat pot overdoses…
I have a few additional items to share with my students. First, there is now ample evidence to show that marijuana use increases the risk of psychosis, especially in the vulnerable and developing brains of adolescents. (WebMD, December 1, 2004). Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll—we now know that teens who use drugs will have a much higher chance of engaging in sexual activity. (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, 2004). A 1994 report shows that teens who smoke pot are 17 times more likely to use cocaine as adults. (David H. Farb, Ph.D., Chairman of the Department of Pharmacology, Boston University School of Medicine. Contributing author to It’s Only Pot. Reader’s Digest. January, 1997). Furthermore, today’s pot contains 10 to 20 times more THC than its 60s and early 70s counterpart. Pot has over 400 other chemicals whose effects are still largely unknown. (David H. Farb, Ph.D., Chairman of the Department of Pharmacology, Boston University School of Medicine. Contributing author to It’s Only Pot. Reader’s Digest. January, 1997). Pot creates more of a need for oxygen in the human body, yet decreases the supply. And marijuana can drive up a person’s pulse to over 100 beats per minute. (David H. Farb, Ph.D., Chairman of the Department of Pharmacology, Boston University School of Medicine. Contributing author to It’s Only Pot. Reader’s Digest. January, 1997).
Parental Attitudes and the Cancer of Justifications
A counterpart of mine, from another high school, told me he recently got on the phone with one mother a while back, and told her that he suspected some pretty substantial drug use with her son. Her response was one of utter shock. “You mean drugs other than pot?”