Ailleianne. Tina Marie Maes
turned but didn’t get more than a few steps away before calling back, “Please come with me to the kitchen.” Then she watched to make that ze was indeed following her.
She grabbed a pad of paper and riffled through the mess on the counter, trying to find a pen. Holding it aloft in triumph, she quickly dropped her hand as she noticed the confused look on the other person’s face.
“Anyway, let’s get those references, huh?” She thrust the paper and pen at zim. When ze didn’t immediately reach for it, she realized ze had assumed she’d write it down. “Sorry, um. I bet you have as bad of handwriting as my ex. So…?” She waited, “Um, what were those references again?”
Ze recited names and contact information so quickly she had a hard time keeping up with zim. As she was finishing up the fifth in the list and it looked like ze had no intention of stopping, she held up her hand. “Um, I think this is enough to go on for now. If I need more, I can ask you then, but I’ve got plenty here, assuming at least half of the names you mentioned aren’t related to you?”
Ze shook zis head slowly, “No relations.”
She breathed a barely audible sigh of relief. “Um, great. So let me call these people and I will get back to you in a couple of days.” She looked down at her list, but almost immediately looked up again. “Sorry we never did introductions, did we? Wow. I’m really bad at this. Anyway, I’m London McRae. What’s your name again?”
“Ailleianne Smith.”
“What? Um, can you say your first name again, or spell it so I can write it down? Something?”
“Ale-Lee-Ann.” Ze said, slowly, “A-I-L-L-E-I-A-N-N-E.”
“Oh my god! Are you a girl?” London could stop her voice from squeaking. “I have been thinking you were a man this entire time. Or some sort of non-gender thing. I mean, not a thing; obviously you are a person. But I wasn’t sure if you were a girl or a guy. I mean, not that it matters… Oh, god, I sound like such a cis asshole right now.” She gritted her teeth to stop from digging herself into a bigger hole.
“I do not understand your concern.”
“It’s not really a concern. I just… I don’t know what pronoun to use. Like, for whatever gender you are supposed to be. Or you know what, I can do that whole ze/zis/zim third gender thing. But I think I’m supposed to ask what you’d prefer?”
“Gender is of no concern to me.”
“Okay...” London wished the ground would swallow her whole. “Agender? That’s a thing, right?”
“I do not know if it is a thing. I do not have a gender.”
“Okay, I can do third gender pronouns. Right. This … this is not a thing I was expecting to ever have a conversation about.” London felt her face flush, as she turned away from Allie. She took a few deep breaths and then asked quietly, “So, Ailleianne? Is that your preferred name? What do you want me to call you?”
“What would you prefer?”
“I can call you Ailleianne. That’s fine. I was wondering if you had a nickname. But Ailleianne is fine. It’s a great name. Very unique.”
“Nickname?” Ailleianne said slowly, seeming to perk up in thought. A small smile appeared on zis face, zis happiness shining through. “A nickname is a shortened version of a proper name, give to those considered friends or family. I believe a nickname would be preferable. I would prefer a nickname. Do you have one in mind?”
This wasn’t really going the way London had imagined. Not that it was going badly. Ailleianne didn’t seem perturbed about the questions. Still, something felt off about about the whole interaction. Weren’t people supposed to have their own preferences about themselves?
“Okay,. Um, How about Al? Or Aillie? Or Leanne?” The names tripped over London’s tongue. “Any of them seem okay to me, but it’s your nickname.”
Allie nodded, smiling. London felt tension run from her shoulders.
“What will happen now?” Allie interrupted.
London sighed again. She wondered if the person ever laughed or relaxed. “I have to check your references which can take a couple of days. Plus I may get more people who want to look at the room.” She mentally crossed her fingers, hoping that that would be true. This really wasn’t the best time to rent, since most college students had already signed year-long leases a few months before. But there had to be one who still needed a place. She could only hope. “I will call you by next week to let you know what I’ve decided. Can I also get your phone number or email address? Some way for you to be contacted?”
Allie uttered a phone number that London quickly jotted down. It wasn’t an area code she was familiar with. “Are you from out of town?”
“I am currently inhabiting a motel room 3.6 miles from here. I would like to move in soon.”
“So, is this your cell number then?”
“Correct. That is a mobile number.”
Finally, unable to think of more questions, London had ushered zim out the door. Ze had left in the same hesitant way ze had arrived.
London had shut the door, unaware of the adventure that awaited her.
Moving In
London had to call Ailleianne’s references. That was all there was to it. The litter of flyers London had placed in the stores and cafes and markets (and, frankly, every other place she could think of) hadn’t brought any other interested parties. Nobody. Her online ad went unanswered. Her phone stayed silent. No emails requesting information popped up. Nothing. Her week was almost up. London finally called the references five days after Ailleianne had stopped by.
“Hello, can I speak with John Smith?” London rolled her eyes at the name. Seriously, could you get any more bland?
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She waited for the other person to transfer the call. When nothing happened for a couple of minutes she asked, “Um, is this John Smith?”
“Yes.” The voice answered, sounding bored.
“Of course. Um, cool. I was hoping to get a little information about Ailleianne Smith? The person is looking to rent a room in my house. I am doing a background check before I offer zim... anything.”
“Yes. I can give you information.”
“Good,” London continued, “You were the first on the list of references. How long have you known Ailleianne?”
“I have known Ailleianne for 360 years.” The voice on the other end answered in the same tone as before. London stopped, wondering if she’d heard correctly.
“Wow, that’s a hell of a relationship. Is that some new age thing, like, including past lives too?”
“Excuse my mis-speaking. I have known Ailleianne for 3 and 6 years,” the voice answered.
“Nine years! Awesome.” London bowled right over the weird way the other person spoke. “So, Ailleianne lived with you, right? I mean, you are a former landlord, or Ailleianne was a former tenant of yours?”
London worried her nail, regretting not asking her prospective tenant if these were landlords or friends. Her prospective tenant could have given her anyone from zis past.
“Yes, I was a former landlord and/or property owner.”
“Can I ask which one?”
“It is a complicated relationship. Ailleianne provided financial capital in exchange for a place to stay. It was very similar to your situation.”
What was up with the way these guys talked? “Good. So,” London powered on. “Does ze, I mean, does Ailleianne currently live with you?” London remembered what Ailleianne