The Rule of the Door and Other Fanciful Regulations. Lloyd Biggle jr.
thought pleased him. He was not cruel like some of his colleagues, who took fiendish delight in tormenting their students during the Time of Sleep; but it would be an interesting psychological experiment, he told himself, to see how much knowledge a sleep-fogged mind could absorb. He would deliver one of his more difficult lectures and follow it immediately with an examination.
He waited the minimum time that custom allowed him, and began, “Lecture nine hundred seventy-two. The effect of radiation impulses on motor pathways of the subconscious.”
He hesitated. His own wrist band tingled sharply, almost painfully. With a sudden surge of panic he understood what it was that had awakened him. He bounded away, scrambled back to the lectern to announce, “To be continued,” pressed the cancellation button, and hurried off to his own viewer.
The Prime Minister’s face stared out at him, alarmingly pale, haggard, eyelashes crinkly with fatigue. Skarn could easily guess who it was that had disturbed his sleep. The Prime Minister scowled and said enviously, “You are looking well, Skarn.”
“Likewise,” Skarn murmured politely.
“I am not looking well. I am looking miserable. I’m tired.”
“Naturally,” Skarn agreed.
“An Imperial Assignment. You will begin at once.”
Skarn clucked his tongue ecstatically. Such an honor did not come more than two or three times in the entire span of living, even to a high-ranking professor of the Royal University. “I shall serve with pleasure,” he announced. “May I inquire—”
“You may. A patrol ship has discovered another inhabited planet. His Imperial Majesty desires a specimen of the dominant life form for the Royal Collection.”
Skarn stirred uneasily, and a bluish flush of irritation tinged the smooth white flesh of his face. “I am no pickler of lizards,” he growled.
“That you are not,” the Prime Minister acknowledged.
“May I inquire—”
“You may. The dominant life form on the planet is intelligent.”
“I still fail to comprehend why a psychologist is required.”
“The Rule of the Door applies.”
Skarn scratched his bald head thoughtfully and hoped he was not making a fool of himself. “That Rule is unfamiliar to me,” he admitted. “May I inquire—”
“You may. The Rule of the Door was propounded by the Great Kom when an Imperial Ancestor of His Imperial Majesty desired a specimen of an intelligent life form.”
Skarn bowed deeply at the mention of the venerable psychologist of psychologists. “It is no doubt an excellent Rule.”
“It has been canonized, along with the other magnificent Rules propounded by the Great Kom. However, this being only the second time in countless glims that an Imperial Majesty has requested an intelligent specimen, the Rule has not been much used.”
“Naturally,” Skarn agreed.
“In fact, the Rule is no longer included in the Canon of Rules. Were it not for the superb memory of His Imperial Majesty’s Prime Minister, the Rule would not have been followed at this time of crisis.”
“You are to be congratulated.”
“His Imperial Majesty has already done so.”
“The Rule of the Door,” Skarn mused. “May I inquire—”
“You may. The content of the Rule has been lost”
“In my most humble opinion, the Rule can then be followed only with extreme difficulty.”
“His Imperial Majesty does not minimize the difficulty. It was this problem that caused him to summon such a distinguished psychologist as yourself. At my suggestion, of course. Your task is to rediscover the content of the Rule of the Door, to follow it scrupulously, and to obtain for His Imperial Majesty the desired specimen.”
Skarn bowed. “I shall direct all of my unworthy talent to the task.”
“Naturally,” the Prime Minister said. “You will, of course, be granted an unlimited expense account.”
“Naturally. I shall also require unlimited time.”
“Naturally.”
“I shall also,” Skarn said, pausing to cluck his tongue in anticipation, “require Imperial Permission to search the Sacred Archives.”
“Naturally. I shall expect your presence at the Imperial Palace immediately.”
The viewer darkened. Skarn manipulated the dials, saw the acceptance light flash, and stepped through to the Imperial Palace.
* * * *
For three full cycles of Sleep and Consciousness Skarn tirelessly prowled through the Sacred Archives, probing pile after pile of metallic sheets until his fingers became clumsy with numbness and his eyes so encrusted with fatigue that he almost leafed past the lost Theorems of Wukim without recognizing them. So exhausted was he when he came upon the legendary Speculations of Kakang that he wept; he could no longer read with comprehension. Not until he finally discovered, in a damp corner, the stack of sheets as tall as himself that were the notebooks of the Great Kom, did he observe a Time of Sleep.
He returned to them refreshed, and duty and curiosity waged a heated contest within him until he effected a deft psychological compromise. He read through the notebooks with reverent care, but only until he found the Rule of the Door. No further. He carried two of the sheets to have impressions made, sadly returned the originals to the Sacred Archives, and sought out the Prime Minister.
“I have found the content of the Rule of the Door,” he announced.
“Excellent! Your name shall appear high on the next achievement citations. What is the content?”
Skarn bowed. “I do not entirely understand it, but this much is apparent: the Rule of the Door consists of—a Door. Here. I have copies of the notes of the Great Kom.”
The Prime Minister squinted uncomprehendingly at the ancient script. “It is a fitting tribute to the logic of the Great Kom that the Rule of the Door should consist of a Door. You can read this?”
“Much of it is clear to me,” Skarn admitted cautiously.
“I see. And the diagram. Now this would be an ancient model of a matter transmitter.”
“Naturally. And this, you see, is the Door. The desired specimen steps through the Door and is immediately transmitted—perhaps to a self-sealing specimen bottle.”
“The Door appears to be exceedingly complicated.”
“Naturally. It involves, you see, a thought-wave analyzer and a subconsciousness prober. This instrument would appear to be an ancient model of a personality computer. The other components are strange to me, but I assume that this one is a data analyzer which will make the final decision.”
“Amazing!”
“In his inestimable wisdom, the Great Kom realized that the disruption of the life process of an intelligent being was not a project to be undertaken impulsively. He formulated a series of maxims: ‘Spare the humble one, for his nature is sublime. Spare the wise one, for his nature is rare. Spare the one who loves others more than himself, for love is the ultimate meaning of life. Spare the head of a family, for his loss would injure many. Spare the weak, for their weakness renders them harmless. Spare the generous, for their acts merit generosity.’ There is much more. Some of it I do not understand.”
“The Rule of the Door must be extremely difficult to apply,” the Prime Minister mused.
“Praise be to the Great Kom, we do not have to apply the Rule. We have only to assemble the Door, and the Door will select a proper specimen for his Imperial Majesty.”