How to Have an Affair and Other Instructions. Michael Hemmingson
she said. “My parents own the property.”
“Nice.”
“I have beer, I think,” she said, going to the kitchen.
I sat on the couch in the small living room.
Hannah returned with two Budweisers. “Yes, I have beer.”
She sat next to me.
I don’t remember what we talked about. On the floor, I noticed an action figure of the Warner Brothers Martian from the Bugs Bunny cartoon. “I always loved that Martian,” I said.
“Me too,” she said, going to the floor and picking it up. “Marvin the Martian. ‘I’m going to destroy planet Earth!’” I touched her hair. She put her head in my lap. It was nice to touch somebody.
“I, um, I don’t know what to do,” I said.
“What?”
“I haven’t been with anyone in a while.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“It’s true.”
“It’s a line,” she said. “Do you like me?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I like you.” She got on the couch with me and we began to kiss. She had to take her glasses off, they were getting in the way. We kissed for a long time. She pushed me back on the couch, and lay on top of me. I grabbed her ass, put my hands down her skirt.
She pulled her mouth from mine. “Bad boy,” she said.
I grabbed her head, and we kissed more.
When I tried to touch her cunt, she stopped me.
“No,” she said.
“Sorry,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, and we kissed.
When I touched her breasts over the fabric of her blouse, she pushed them away. “Now, now,” she said.
“Sorry,” I said.
She took one of my hands and put it back on her ass. “Play with that.”
I did, and we kissed. My hand, and my second hand, were all over her butt.
“Hey,” Hannah said, “rub my asshole.”
“What?”
“With your finger,” she said, and I found her asshole with my finger. “In small circles,” she said, “yeah, like that”
She pulled away from me, and sat. She took the finger I’d been rubbing her with, put it in her mouth, sucked on it. She smiled, and gave my finger back. She put her glasses on.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, moving to her, wanting to kiss her more.
“Nothing,” she said. “I have to pee.”
“Hey.” I grabbed her hand as she stood up. “Can I watch?”
“You want to watch me pee?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I need a commitment before I go that far,” she said.
“We hardly know each other.”
“Exactly,” she said, and went to the bathroom.
I sat there.
I got up, and followed. The door was unlocked, and I went in. Hannah was sitting on the toilet; she glanced up at me. She smiled and said, “You.” I could hear the stream of her urine. I sat on the floor, cross-legged.
“You’re bold,” she said.
“The door was unlocked.”
“There is no lock.”
“I couldn’t resist.”
She stood up. “Okay, Mr. Bold. Clean me.”
“With my mouth?”
“Absolutely not.”
I would’ve done it with my moth, if she’d asked. I took a wad of toilet paper, and wiped her cunt. She pulled her panties up.
“I have to go too,” I said.
“Then I get to watch,” she said. “Quid pro quo.”
She took my place on the floor; I stood in front of the toilet, took my cock out.
Hannah made a weird sound. She moved, snagged my cock, and put her mouth before it, drinking my urine; what she didn’t get flowed out, down her chin, and into the bowl. I liked the sound this made. I breathed hard; it was an experience in itself watching her drink from me.
She pressed her face to my leg. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” she said, softly. “Now you know my fetish. Okay, I’m weird. You’ll never love me.”
“I could love you,” I said.
“Do you mean that?”
“Yes.”
“Will you kiss me to prove it?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said.
She stood, and we kissed, and I tasted her—and me.
“I want to make love to you,” I said.
“No, I can’t,” she said.
Hannah left the bathroom and sat on the edge of her bed. I sat next to her; we both fell back. It was a nice, big, comfortable bed, the kind of bed I liked; the kind of bed I didn’t have.
“It’s late,” she said, moving away from me. “I’m a little drunk.”
“Me too,” I said.
“You can stay here,” she said, “if you want.”
“I’d like that.”
“I’d like it too,” she said, standing. “I’m going to turn the light off.”
“Okay.”
In the dark, I saw her silhouette; she was removing her clothes. I also took my clothes off, and got under the covers. She joined me; we didn’t touch. My hand went to her body; she was still wearing her bra and panties. I moved closer to her, kissed her.
“I don’t think I want to screw,” she said.
“Okay,” I said.
“I mean, I’m not sure if I can.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not sure if I’m in the right frame of mind.”
“Okay.”
“It’s not okay,” she said, “you don’t understand, you don’t know.”
“I want to,” I said.
“I know you do.”
“Hannah,” I said.
“It’s nice having you in my bed,” she said.
“It’s nice to be in a bed with someone.” She placed her head on my chest, and then a hand, playing with the hair. We were quiet, touching each other. Her hand moved down, and grasped my cock.
“This is nice,” she said.
“Yes,” I said, “it is.”
“Nice.…”
I kissed her on the head.
“I know,” she said, and, “I’m twenty-eight years old.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m still a virgin.”
I laughed, after a moment.