When the Pirate Prays. James B. Johnson
head was emerging and I was trying to help it go back to the right position all the while making the exit easier and get this damn thing over with.
“You’re doing this like a pro, Sandy.”
“Damndamndamn.” Her voice was much weaker. “I like the way you say ‘Sandy,’ Billy.”
“All delivering mothers fall in love with their obstertricicans.”
“Or whatever,” said Angie.
“Pushpushpush,” I said.
“Ihurtohsomuch.” Sandy was leaking sweat.
“It’ll all be over soon.”
“Come on, Sandra Dee, you can do it,” said Mary Lynn. “Follow my lead.” Mary Lynn began to breathe in and out in an exaggerated fashion, pausing to push at the right moment. She was a quick learner.
My hands continued to fly and the damn lights went out.
Oh, shit, I thought.
“Oh, shit,” said Mary Lynn.
“OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod.”
Angie acted swiftly and soon two flashlight beams pierced the dark. I might not be prepared for in-depth surgery, but the 7-P principle came to my aid. I’d been prepared for power failure.
“No problem,” I said calmly. “We don’t need power anyway.” The kid’s whole head was emerging. “Thanks, Miss Maple.”
“Mizz.”
“Whatever. Sandy, your daughter’s head is turning back into the correct position regarding the rest of her body.”
Angie snorted. “You can add pedagogic to didactic.”
“Irregardless of that—” I began.
“Humpf,” said Angie.
“Okay, disregardless—”
“SHE’S COMING DAMNDAMNDAMNDAMN.”
“Just like in the textbooks,” I continued. “One shoulder at a time within the next few contractions.”
Great gusts of wind buffeted the building and windows blew out and gables rattled, whatever the hell a gable is. The flashlights wavered in Angie’s hands.
Again, we all held our collective breath—except Sandy.
“You can name your daughter Storm,” I said.
“Damndamnda.…” Her voice was weary and weak and I could feel her body wanting to give up.
“Just another minute, hon, hang in there.” I put as much confidence as I could into my words.
Her body rippled again and the kid surged out into my scrambling hands.
“OhJesusGoddamn.”
“Yeah, me, too, Sandy. The kid’s out.” Just in time, for I believed that Sandy was becoming too weak to help and that wouldn’t have helped a bit.
The most important thing is to get the infant to breathing. I was holding her half upside down and cleaning gunk out of her mouth.
Nothing.
In the light of the flashlights, I couldn’t tell if the kid were turning blue or not but I sure as hell imagined it to be so.
The room was stifling; with the power off, the great paddle fan wasn’t turning and all four of us were sweating like we were on a death march and the kid still wasn’t breathing.
“Angie! The basting bulb. Now.” Tried to keep my voice calm.
The lights jiggled and the beams slewed aside.
Slap, and the basting bulb was in my held-up hand and I stuck it in the baby’s mouth not very delicately and pumped and withdrew it and stuck it back in and pumped and withdrew it and repeated and the kid was breathing like she’d been doing so for years.
“Nothing to it when you know how.” My voice was lame.
“They were right,” said Angie. “You are quick.”
“Not in everything,” I said absently and looked at Mary Lynn who was bending over in the pale light to check the kid.
Mary Lynn turned her head and stared at me, her special bold look again, shook her head, and looked at the kid again.
I felt like I’d been through a war. My hands were not shaking—yet.
I was still holding the baby but turning her around for Mary Lynn.
“It’s a girl, Sandra Dee, you’ve a daughter.” Mary Lynn’s voice was light, just the right touch.
“I told you so,” I said unnecessarily.
“And she has ten of everything,” Mary Lynn went on.
“Thank God,” whispered Sandy. She was so weak I knew we’d just made it.
Near the kid’s tummy, I snapped a number 2 Hunt clip onto the kid’s umbilical. We’d got several of the strong metal clamps from the front desk. Mary Lynn had boiled them in the kitchen.
Then I put the kid on Sandy’s stomach. “For warmth and bonding,” I said.
I thought Sandy cooed, but it could’ve been an exhausted sigh.
“We’ve got maybe ten minutes,” I began and my hands started shaking and mercifully Angie moved the light away from us all.
Mary Lynn must’ve sensed my reaction, for she started talking.
“You wonder who killed Henry? Check with cuckolded husbands. He’s wealthy, very much so. Or I should say, was wealthy. A womanizer on the grandest scale.”
“A charmer, Henry was,” agreed Angie, still holding the two flashlights aimlessly pointed at the floor. “One who leaves lives shattered in his wake.” There was a story behind Angie’s words.
I should be working, but the reaction was still pulsing through me, the shakes still assaulting me.
“He had it all,” Mary Lynn went on. “Wealth. Looks. Intelligence. Olde local family, don’t you know? Political power. National image.”
“If you spend too much time polishing your image, you’ll tarnish your character,” I said.
In the splash of light, Mary Lynn favored me with her brown eye.
“He had his health, too,” said Angie, “and I suspect he was very happy with himself.”
“He had to be,” said Mary Lynn. Her voice turned a bit angry. “You have to be somewhat amoral to be a good politician; so, hurting women wouldn’t bother him. Using women didn’t bother him. I doubt much of anything bothered him.”
I was now controlling my breathing. The reaction was passing. “A tennis racquet bothered him to death.”
“I believe he died from the fall,” Angie said, returning the flashlights to the proper position.
It was stifling in here and suddenly this wing of the building shook under a heavy gust and a window somewhere blew out and wind screeched down the corridor and sucked the stifling out the opened transom and the cool breeze made me feel better until someone slammed a door and the breeze died.
“How is it in there?” came a distinct Florida cracker voice. The lieutenant governor.
“Fine. The baby is doing well.” Angle’s voice was relieved, too.
“Let us know if you need anything.”
Angie didn’t answer.
I cut the umbilical with a boiled sharp kitchen knife near the office clamp.
I breathed deeply. We weren’t out of the woods yet. “The third stage of labor takes up to ten minutes.”