Doctor Scratch and Other Plays. Noël le Breton

      COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

      Copyright © 1986, 2013 by Frank J. Morlock

      Published by Wildside Press LLC

      www.wildsidebooks.com

      BORGO PRESS BOOKS BY FRANK J. MORLOCK

      Castor and Pollux and Other Opera Libretti (Editor)

      The Chevalier d’Éon and Other Short Farces (Editor)

      Chuzzlewit

      Congreve’s Comedy of Manners

      Crime and Punishment

      Cyrano and Molière: Five Plays by or About Molière (Editor)

      Doctor Scratch and Other Plays (Editor)

      Falstaff (with Shakespeare, John Dennis, & William Kendrick)

      Fathers and Sons

      Herculaneum & Sardanapalus: Two Opera Libretti (Editor)

      The Idiot

      Isle of Slaves and Other Plays (Editor)

      Jurgen

      Justine

      The Londoners & The Green Carnation: Two Plays

      Lord Jim

      The Madwoman of Beresina & Other Napoleonic Plays (Ed.)

      Notes from the Underground

      Oblomov

      Old Creole Days

      Outrageous Women: Lady Macbeth and Other Plays (Editor)

      Peter and Alexis

      The Princess Casamassima

      A Raw Youth

      Salammbô & Dido: Two Operas (Editor)

      The Stendhal Hamlet Scenarios and Other Shakespearean Shorts from the French (Editor)

      Two Voltairean Plays: The Triumvirate; Comedy at Ferney

      Whitewashing Julia and Other Plays

      The Widow’s Husband; and, Porthos in Search of an Outfit: Two Dumasian Comedies (Editor)

      Zeneida & The Follies of Love & The Cat Who Changed into a Woman: Two Plays (Editor)

      DEDICATION

      To my good friend, Rick Roberts

      DOCTOR SCRATCH

      A COMEDY BY NOËL LE BRETON, SIEUR DE HAUTEROCHE

      CAST OF CHARACTERS

      Loveless

      Gerald

      Dr. Bloodgood

      Augusta

      Olivia

      Lettice

      Martin

      Peg

      Scalpel

      Big Tom

      Scratch

      Seven men, four women

      ACT I

      The scene is London, around 1675. The street before Bloodgood’s surgery.

      Martin

      What, sir? You say you wish to remarry?

      Loveless

      Yes, yes—I wish to remarry, and to better succeed, I have sent my son to Oxford under the pretext of studying for his degree.

      Martin

      I understand perfectly. But, may one ask the name of your bride-to-be?

      Loveless

      Certainly. It’s Olivia.

      Martin

      What! The daughter of Dr. Bloodgood?

      Loveless

      The same.

      Martin

      You are joking, sir—this girl isn’t yet eighteen, and would be more suitable for your son than for you.

      Loveless

      I don’t intend to let my son marry for three or four years.

      Martin

      But, sir, did you consider carefully what you are doing when you got this idea to marry Olivia?

      Loveless

      Did I consider carefully? Yes, yes—I gave it a lot of thought. She’s beautiful; she’s intelligent; she’s young; she’s idealistic. In fact, she has a lot of qualities that are simply not to be disparaged.

      Martin

      Well, these are beautiful traits to keep you from thinking—for to be honest with you, none of these traits go with an old man.

      Loveless

      Huh? I am not that old!

      Martin

      Oh, yeah! If we were in those times when men lived seven or eight hundred years—you’d only be an adolescent; but, in the times we live, you’re well along in your race.

      Loveless

      But, sixty years—

      Martin

      My word. Not to lie, I believe you have at least twelve or fourteen more years, for I remember that the other day the good Mr. Hurtle, drinking a cup of wine with you, said he was more than sixty-six, and that you were in college when he was in first form, and in a college play, he played cupid, and you played King Arthur.

      Loveless

      He doesn’t know what he’s talking about; he’s one of those men who like to pretend they’re older than they are.

      Martin

      Leave the age business aside, for, as they say, it’s only for the grey hair. But, let us talk a little about your marriage. Do you believe that Dr. Bloodgood and Augusta, his wife, will give you their daughter—she being an only child? When one has only a daughter, and marries her—it’s in the hope she’ll produce grandchildren. But, not to sugar the pill, if you marry her, they run the risk of never having that joy—at least without some assistance—you understand me.

      Loveless

      None of this is your affair—and I know what I am doing. When she is my wife, we’ll do what needs to be done.

      Martin

      My word, I doubt she ever will be your wife.

      Loveless

      Well, as for me, I am certain of it. Dr. Bloodgood is a man of his word—he has given me his solemn promise that she will be mine.

      Martin

      Well, that’s something. But, you know that Augusta is a domineering woman—and, if I don’t deceive myself, she has the look of wearing the pants.

      Loveless

      I know she’s a little proud. But the advantages I will bring her daughter will soften her pride—and besides, a husband is always the master of his wife.

      Martin

      Always! My word. I’ve seen many that don’t live agreeably, and who wish with all their heart that you speak true. But, here is Dr. Bloodgood, who is leaving his house.

      (Enter Dr. Bloodgood from his house.)

      Bloodgood

      Ah, it’s you, Mr. Loveless?

      Loveless

      At your service. I came to speak of this business.

      Bloodgood

      What