Doctor Scratch and Other Plays. Noël le Breton
the one that—you know about it—
Bloodgood
What?
Loveless
The business we spoke about together?
Bloodgood
When?
Loveless
Huh—several times.
Bloodgood
Where?
Loveless
Several places.
Bloodgood
I don’t know what it is.
Loveless
About your daughter’s marrying me.
Bloodgood
Oh, is that all? I thought you meant something else. About that? You know I’ve given my word. You’ve only to choose the day. Rest at ease. You are the master of that business.
Loveless
I’m obligated to you. But, have you taken the trouble to speak to your better half?
Bloodgood
No, but I give you her consent. She’s submissive to my will—and I know how to deal with her if she makes any difficulty: I am a man who knows how to inject a little reason into a woman.
Loveless
I don’t doubt it.
Bloodgood
Actually, I’d like to see her puff up in front of me. If she crossed me, I would make her see how stupid she is. But, thank heaven, I don’t have to trouble. In a word, my wife does everything that I wish.
Loveless
Decide, if you please, which of us will speak of it first to her; it’s a propriety I ought to observe, for, as you know, the ladies are jealous of their littler prerogatives.
Bloodgood
Willingly, and to get on with it, I am going to bring her here.
(Exit Dr. Bloodgood into the house.)
Loveless
Well, Martin? What do you say to that?
Martin
Everything’s going fine, and I’m very easy because of your father-in-law.
(Enter Dr. Bloodgood with Augusta.)
Bloodgood
Wife, here’s our good friend, Mr. Loveless.
Augusta
Ah, I am his servant, and delighted to see him.
Bloodgood (low to Loveless)
It will be more becoming if you speak first.
Loveless (low to Bloodgood)
You begin, then I’ll follow up.
Bloodgood (low)
You can explain better than I.
Loveless
Not at all. Besides, reason dictates that you should open the subject.
Bloodgood
It’s up to you to take the first step.
Loveless
I’ve done it for you, and you ought to predispose her before I speak to her.
Augusta
At least, tell me what you’re squabbling over, and why you brought me here.
Loveless
A mere bagatelle.
Bloodgood
Wife, it’s our friend Mr. Loveless who asks for the hand of our daughter in marriage.
Augusta
And for whom?
Loveless
For me, madam, but under conditions which cannot be disagreeable to you. Doubtless, at first blush, my age would give you some repugnance to the idea—but, when you know, madam, that I will make you a fine settlement on your daughter, and that I will take her without a dowry—and that your husband has already given me his word—I dare to hope you will be as kind.
Augusta
All these matters are very weighty—but your age, sir, does not agree with my daughter’s, and one often sees young women who make such marriages fall into disorderly conduct. The caresses of an old man are not meant for a young woman: in fact, they create an antipathy, and we see even nature itself revolt. Thus, to avoid these possible disgraces to my family, you will appreciate why I refuse to give my consent.
Loveless
But, your husband has given me his word.
Augusta
I believe it, but obviously he hasn’t considered it carefully, for if he had, he would be—doubtless—of my opinion.
Loveless
Sir, you know you promised me.
Augusta
I believe, as I said before, that he did promise Olivia to you—but he can de-promise her to you—for believe me, it won’t happen.
Loveless
Sir, a man of honor ought to hold to his word. Didn’t you promise your daughter in marriage to me?
Bloodgood
Hey—all that is true—
Augusta
Well—if he promised her—I did not. And that’s enough.
Bloodgood
Wife.
Augusta
Hey—my God, leave me alone. I know very well what I’m doing.
Bloodgood
But, it’s necessary—to keep one’s—
Augusta
It’s necessary not to make such glib promises. One more time, it’s never going to happen. And, your arguments couldn’t be worse than they are. Goodbye, sir. Get it in your head that you will never marry my daughter.
(Exit)
Augusta
Sir?
Bloodgood
What do you want?
Martin
She’s submissive to my will—and I know how to deal with her if she makes any difficulty: I am a man who knows how to inject a little sense into a woman. I’d like to see her puff up in front of me. If she crosses me, I’d make her see how stupid she is. In a word, my wife does everything I wish.
Bloodgood
You are an impertinent!
Loveless
Indeed, Martin’s right. And, this is the speech you made to me before we spoke to your wife.
Bloodgood
True, but we must be patient. It’s not necessary to get carried away right from the start. Sometimes one ought to temporize. I promised you— All right, leave it to me.
Martin
All right, leave it to him. He’ll spoil everything. My word, you’d better believe the words of the wife, and not those of this gentleman. You can see quite clearly that she is the sole mistress and master.
Bloodgood
You don’t know what you are saying.
Martin
No, but I know you will