The Member And The Radical. John Galt
causes; the one is, that every thing a member says in the House is received as truth; and thus it happens when an orator is under an obligation, either from friendship or party spirit, to blink the veracity of his subject, he is put to a necessity of using roundabout words, that feed the ear and yet cheat the mind in the sense; and this begets a formality of language that really makes some Members of Parliament very quiscus and unsatisfactory to have business to do with. The other cause comes from the reverse of this, inasmuch as there is no restraint but a man’s own discretion, in what he states; and as all men are not alike gifted with that blessing, a Parliament fool is far more remarkable than a weak man out of doors; and thus it is, that honourable members have, in addition to their worldly character, a parliamentary character; but some put on the parliamentary character, not having those habits by which it is induced; and these, to any observant man are really very amusing and ridiculous: they are, for the most part, the silent voters on both sides of the House; chiefly, however, of the Government thick-and-thinners.
When I had, to my perfect satisfaction, ascertained the accuracy of this opinion, I came to a resolution that begat me in time a very sedate and respectable reputation. Several times, during my first session, I had a mind to speak; and, really, there were speeches spoken which were most instigating to me to hear, and provoking me to reply; but, somehow, my heart failed, and the session passed over without my getting up. This at the time was not very satisfactory to myself, and I daresay if the session had continued a little longer, I might have been so bold as to utter a few words: but during the recess I had a consultation with myself relative to my habits and abilities; and I came in consequence to a resolution, that, as I was not sure of possessing the talent of eloquence, never having tried it, I should not, without a necessity, make the endeavour, – a resolution which I have had great reason to rejoice in, because, in the second session, various questions were debated, that, if I had possessed a disposition to speak, I would have expressed myself in a manner that might not have been applauded by the public. My silence, therefore, enabled me to escape animadversion; and I was protected also from acquiring any of that parliamentary character, as to the choice of terms, to which I have been alluding. Thank Heaven! I have had gumption enough left to avoid assuming it; for verily it is a droll thing to hear men that are everlasting silent ciphers in the House, speaking (when you meet with them at dinner) across the table as if they were the very ora rotundas of the Treasury bench.
I had another advantage in resolving to be only a vote – and that was, it committed me upon but few questions; by which I was left free to do as I pleased with ministers, in case a change should take place between the two sides of the House. In all the regular business of Government, my loyalty and principles led me to uphold the public service; but on those occasions when the outs and ins amused themselves with a field-day, or a benefit-night rather, I very often did not vote at all, – for I never considered pairing off before the division as fully of the nature of a vote; and several times, when the minister who had the management of the House spoke to me for going away before the debate was done, I explained to him why I did so, by saying that I always went off when I saw that the Government party had the best of the argument, and thought that maybe if I had staid till the back of the bow-wows against them were up, I might be seduced from my allegiance, and constrained by their speeches to give a vote according to my conscience, as it might be moulded by their oratory.
I will not say, in a very positive manner, that all the members who pair off during the middle of a debate are actuated by the principle of fairness that I was; but some, no doubt, are; for it’s really a hard thing for a man to be convinced by a speech from the Opposition, and yet be obliged, by the principle that attaches him to the Government, to give a vote against his conscience. In short, by the time that the second session was half over, I had managed myself with such a canny sobriety, that my conduct was regarded with very considerable deference. I was a most attentive member, whether in my attendance on committees or in the House; and I carried my particularity to so exact a degree, that even in the number of my daily franks I allowed myself to incur not the loss of one; and I was so severe in the administration of even this small privilege, that I never borrowed a frank from a friend.
It may seem that my correctness in this matter of the franks was a trifle not worth mentioning; but I had my own ends for it. It was the last session of a Parliament; and it is very curious what an insight it afforded me of the puetering that some men that had boroughs to contest carried on; for whenever I saw a friend writing often, and needing many franks to the same borough, I concluded that he had an election purpose to accomplish.
Towards the end of the session, I observed that a young man, Mr. Gabblon, was very industrious, almost every day getting franks; and although I was regular in the smoking-room, he never once applied to me. One day, when I was sitting there by myself, and he came in to get a cover additional to his own, – seeing me alone, he went immediately out, without asking my assistance. This I thought very comical; and it immediately flashed like lightning on my mind, that, surely, he could not be undermining my interest in Frailtown?
It is wonderful to think what queer and ingenious thoughts will come into people’s heads. No sooner did the surmise rise in my mind, than I was moved by an inordinate impulse to learn if there was anything in his correspondence to justify the suspicion, and I was not long left in doubt; for soon after came in another member, with whom I was on the best of footings; and he had a blank cover in his hand, which he addressed at the table and gave out to Mr. Gabblon, who was standing in the lobby. When my friend had done so, I said,
‘That young lad, Mr. Gabblon, has a wonderful large correspondence. What can he be about? for these several days he has been always in want of franks; and yet he is not a man of commerce, but a squire.’
My friend, Mr. Henwick, looked to me very slily, and said, ‘Did I really not know what Mr. Gabblon was about?’
‘No; I don’t trouble myself with other people’s affairs: but it is surprising how men that have no business should have such a correspondence.’
‘Well,’ said Mr. Henwick, ‘what you say is extraordinary. Have you not heard that Mr. Gabblon intends to succeed you in Frailtown; and his correspondence is with the influential people of your own borough?’
‘No possible!’ said I.
‘But it is true,’ said he with a smile; ‘and some of us, seeing you were taking no step, concluded that you intended to retire from Parliament.’
‘This is news, Mr. Henwick,’ replied I, ‘and it behoves me to look after it. I wonder, indeed, what could make him think of cutting me out.’
‘Why,’ said Mr. Henwick, ‘it is reported that Mr. Spicer, who is of great influence with the corporation, is not content with the way in which you are said to have used him.’
‘He’s a d——d ungrateful vagabond. Didn’t I get his son-in-law made the postmaster at Physickspring? I must look to this immediately.’
And with that I rose, and took a hackney coach in Palace-yard, and drove straight to the counting-house of Mr. Probe, the solicitor, determined to sift this abominable parliamenting to the bottom.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hot as I was at the House of Commons, I yet had time to cool in some degree between it and Lincoln’s Inn Fields, where Mr. Probe had his writing rooms – but not quite to an indifference; so when I reached the place, and went in, I found himself there alone, for it was then past four o’clock; and I said to him as soon as I entered,
‘Mr. Probe,’ quo’ I, ‘what is the meaning of this?’
‘I don’t know,’ replied he; ‘what is it that you mean?’
‘It is just as well, Mr. Probe, to be candid with me,’ said I, ‘and therefore I request to know the cause of Mr. Gabblon having a nefarious correspondence with that unprincipled miscreant, Mr. Spicer.’
‘Has he?’ said Mr. Probe.
‘That he has, and I want to know all the particulars.’
‘Surely you cannot think that I am privy to all Mr. Gabblon’s correspondence?’
‘Do