If You Could See Me Now. Michael Mewshaw
Amy,
Thank you for your $35 subsequent payment for the additional post adoption background information service (receipt enclosed). I have received your waiver of confidentiality which I have placed in your permanent file.
I am sending you another waiver of confidentiality for your adoptive mother to sign.
In reviewing your case record, the agency can provide you with the following nonidentifying information.
As you know, you were born on December 24, 1964 at 6:36 p.m.Your weight at birth was 8 lbs. 14 oz., and you were 21'' long.
Your birth mother was very attractive, bright and 21 years old at that time. She came from a strong background with quite a complicated personality. During the time she was in California she posed as a married woman. Her boyfriend, not the birth father, came to California with her, expecting to marry her and to help her through her pregnancy with you. Your birth father knew of the pregnancy and wanted to marry your birth mother also, as well as a former boyfriend. The decision to place you for adoption was made harder for your birth mother because of the three proposals of marriage. However, because of her family situation, she felt that it would be totally unacceptable and decided not to involve her family by telling them about you.Your birth mother's final decision was relinquishment, and she wanted you placed in a Protestant home with a cultural and educational background.
Your birth mother had a great deal of difficulty in arriving at her decision to give you up for adoption because she felt she would not be able to give you the things that were important and meaningful in her life. She also felt that she was being irresponsible not to take responsibility for a child she had brought into the world.
Your birth mother and her boyfriend, who posed as her brother, came into the office. They both were attractive young people and made a striking couple. He is tall and dark and she is tall, with a slender build.They were both well groomed.
Your birth mother and birth father had dated for two years and she was actually "pinned" to him.Your birth mother felt that your birth father got her pregnant with the hope of pressuring her into marrying him. His response, when he found out about the pregnancy was "now we'll be able to get married." Your birth mother did not feel this would be a sound marriage. Her family seemed to like him and she described him as a rather capable, likeable person whom she did not want to marry.Your birth father was aware that your birth mother was in California with another man.
Your birth mother's family expectations made it very difficult for her to think about settling down to a normal married existence.Your birth mother thought of her father, your grandfather, as an international consultant to the U.S. Government. He was one of the top advisors to the Korean Government for a period of years, and before that, a government advisor to the Philippines. Your grandfather was currently employed as top assistant to one of the cabinet members at the time of your birth.
During your birth mother's freshman year at college, one of her professors was grooming her to enter the Miss America Contest. She had been a runner up to Miss Maryland in that contest and was considered an attractive girl physically. She is always beautifully groomed and looks quite sophisticated. Her hair is past waist length and looks quite exotic and lovely done up in a French twist. She does not wear a great deal of makeup but has a beautiful complexion, a nice smile and a slight cleft in her chin.
Your birth father's father, your grandfather, is a retired two-star general who graduated from military school. He was 58 years old at the time of your birth. He was born in Kansas.
Your birth father was described as a large-boned, athletic, very stable,capable person who got along extremely well with everyone and was well liked. However, your birth mother felt that he had some qualms and feelings that he might not measure up to his father's expectations, and internalized all of these feelings.
The personality traits that were most unattractive to your birth mother about your birth father were that he was not a creative or spontaneous person.
Your birth mother was quite sure what she wanted to do with her life. She did plan to go to Europe with her grandmother, your great grandmother, after returning home.
This is all the known nonidentifying information in the record.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION
birth mother
21 when you were born Born in Ohio
Residence at time you were born: California
Caucasian: English/Scotch/Irish/German/Swedish
5'7" tall
121 pounds
Brown hair
Brown eyes
Medium coloring
Very attractive
College graduate—English major—psychology minor
Office manager
Good health
Baptist
Single
family
Father
57 years old 6'2" tall
190 pounds Black hair Brown eyes Very fair skin and freckles
Sometimes has hives
Good health
College graduate & graduate school in Law & CPA
Government advisor and consultant
Mother
53 years old 5'4" tall
124 pounds Reddish brown hair Brown eyes Medium coloring Allergic to fish and coffee College and Graduate school Judge—news field—real estate—acting Brother
25 years old 5'11" tall
165 pounds Black hair Hazel/green eyes Medium coloring Good bone structure but light weight In college
birth father
27 when you were born Born in Texas Caucasian: German/English
6'2" tall
180 pounds Good build Brown hair Brown eyes Medium coloring College graduate Advertising business
No known medical problems in the family
Good health
Protestant
Single
family
Father
About 58 years old
5'8" tall
Grey hair
Brown eyes
Medium coloring
Military career
Mother
About 50 years old
5'3" tall
118 pounds Dark brown hair Brown eyes Medium coloring
Junior College
Homemaker Sister
29 years old 5'2" tall Petite build Brown eyes Auburn hair Ivory coloring Junior College Homemaker Four children
I read and reread the pages, testing the meaning of individual sentences and phrases, scanning lines as though they were modern poetry that almost completely eluded interpretation. In some ways, it was a bit like reading my own obituary or thumbing through a diary kept by a coldly objective acquaintance. It bristled with double-bladed statements, some of them stingingly painful even at this remove in time.
"Your birth mother felt that your birth father got her pregnant with the hope of pressuring her into marrying him. . . . The personality traits that were most