I'M Only A Child. Wanda Montanelli
committee of inquiry set up by the President
Hamid Karzai, the president of Afghanistan, ordered a committee of inquiry to be set up, following which Sahar’s ineffable husband and criminal relatives were prosecuted by law, with the immediate arrest of her relatives and an arrest warrant issued for Gulam Sakhi who went into hiding. However, the judgment was broadcast on Afghan national television and there were not many places where the man could hide. It was the month of May 2012. In July, Sahar’s mother-in-law, father-in-law and sister-in-law were sentenced to ten years in prison for attempted murder.
But how could someone ever have absolute power over a child-wife?
Sahar's story began in May 2011, when she was only 12 years old, and was sold for five thousand dollars to her torturers, who immediately organised a forced marriage whereby they gained all legal power over the child.
The plan was to exploit her sexually and get paid handsomely by nonchalant paedophiles who, confident of her husband’s consent, were not moved to pity by Sahar’s tears or suffering gaze, and defiled her without any scruples whatsoever.
Sahar Gul’s segregation in the home lasted until the day of her uncle’s intervention, the police’s subsequent action and President Karzai’s decision, following the uproar on the pages of authoritative newspapers around the world.
The Times contributed to the dissemination very effectively in its Afghan publications, with articles entitled "Let’s break the deathly silence on the status of women".
Newspapers, magazines, blogs, intensified the public debate until the parliamentary institutions approved a law making “domestic violence” a crime.
So there began in the country an acknowledgement and a process of civilisation of a part of society that still considers powers of life or death over wives to be legitimate, even if they are only little girls. But this is only an encouraging start because the outcome of the story leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
Ten year prison sentences for the torturers which they don’t serve
Although the case created an outcry in international public opinion, after Sahar’s three torturers were sentenced to ten years in prison, the Court – during a further hearing in a half-empty courtroom – ordered the release of the three people responsible, in the absence of counterparties and the ministerial authorities.
The Court of Appeals subsequently condemned the torturers to five years, with the possibility for the victim to claim damages.
During the trial, Sahar took refuge with the Women for Afghan Women Association, the organisation which takes care of abused Afghan women, offering them legal protection and hospitality in specifically organised shelters.
On International Women's Day in 2012, an Internet café for women was opened in the Afghan capital, Kabul, in the name of Sahar Gul.
What with the acknowledgements of civil society and the feeling of having done the right thing Sahar realised there was a ray of light for her, even if unfortunately her disappointments were not over. She alternated between moments of hope and others of disappointment. She knew that unfortunately the process in the courts was not complete; she would gladly have done without further ordeals, interrogations, confrontations with those who had wronged her. She suffered in seeing her relatives again, and each time hoped it would be for last time. One day her bitterness was rekindled because a further ruling ordered the release of her torturers.
Sahar nevertheless decided to look to the future. With the help of new friends and the assistance -including psychological- of the association, the girl tried to leave the pain she will never forget behind her. She began to study, learning the first rudiments of education, starting from scratch. In fact, she was illiterate at the time of her marriage.
Now she wants to give a positive direction to her life. She dreams of engaging in politics to put actions and laws in place that prevent other women suffering as she suffered. She wants to give back the good and the help received. Instead she intends to forget the wickedness so that it’s no longer part of her reality and her thoughts.
Maha, from dolls to a husband
“My father made me get married because he had heard about a rape and he was afraid it might happen to my sister and me as well. I didn’t have a choice.”
This is what Maha says, a thirteen-year-old who got pregnant at a very young age. Her husband, Abdullah, is ten years older than her. Both are Syrian refugees fleeing the war, who found refuge in Jordan. Abdullah, young Maha’s husband, also tries to explain the reasons for child marriages: "If we were still in Syria – he says – we wouldn’t have got married, she’s too young. But there were often rape attacks in the camp where we live and her father was afraid it might also happen to Maha".
In these places, every day you try and find protection from the bombs, and it’s difficult to do so and survive, but no more difficult than trying to defend yourself from poverty and fear of violence.
These are the main reasons why a high number of parents force their daughters into child marriages.
In a quarter of the marriages registered in Jordan amongst the Syrian refugee population the bride is under eighteen, reports Save the Children that has collected data and testimonies by the baby brides in its dossier “Too young to marry”.
Child marriages were always fairly widespread in Syria before the war, when approximately 13% of brides were little more than children.
Then when war broke out the phenomenon increased exponentially. Nowadays in Jordan approximately 25% of Syrian brides are younger than 18, and in about half the cases the girls are forced to marry men at least ten years older than them.
The phenomenon is on the increase if you consider that in 2011 the marriages involving a baby-bride were 12% of all marriages. That number increased to 25% in 2013, and this tendency – that includes a quarter of the female population – has remained the same over the following years.
Maha and Abdullah, spouses against their will
“My future has been stolen from me – says Maha with a hint of sadness in her eyes – and my life is lost. This is not what I dreamt of for myself. I didn’t want to shut out every possibility of looking towards the future with the hope of being happy”.1
What does happiness mean for Maha, if not being able to study, become emancipated and achieve financial independence?
Like her many girls, due to forced and child marriage, have to leave school, and stop dreaming of living in a better society, in a place where women’s rights, and the rights of people in general, are respected.
In the Zaatari refugee camp, in the semi-desert area of the largest camp that exists in the north of Jordan, 80 thousand refugees live in precarious conditions. Some live by the day hoping for government aid to survive and some, to give meaning and organisation to their lives, launch business ventures, small shops offering poor things or small craft enterprises.
In one of the thousands of tents in the camp we find Nadia, another child bride just 15 years old who, like Maha and many others, is aware she does not have a future:
"Ever since I was a child – says the girl – I dreamt of studying nutrition at university. I dreamt of a house and I planned to get married only after completing my education. Instead, my future has been stolen from me and my life is lost. Everything has been destroyed".2
It’s not always possible to come to the rescue of these young girls who would be so interested in growing, developing themselves and planning their own lives.
For some years now there have been numerous organisations that have implemented programmes to help children in war zones, or otherwise support young people living in rural areas where it is difficult to survive: Amnesty International, Unicef,