Shine. Ned Hallowell
Praise for Shine
“If you take Hallowell’s extraordinary knowledge and wisdom and combine them with the latest in brain science, you get this unique, fascinating, and highly useful book!”
—Carol Dweck, author,
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
“This is an inspiring book that every manager should read. Hallowell has made clear just how important connection is to long-term success and laid out a powerful playbook for how to get the best out of people—and yourself.”
—Jim Robinson, General Partner, RRE Ventures, and former
Chairman and CEO, American Express; and
Linda Robinson, Partner and Chairman,
Robinson, Lerer and Montgomery
“Hallowell has a great gift as a doctor, as a scholar, and as a consultant to business. His gift is that he teaches us all how to play. It is that same gift that makes Shine such a valuable and enjoyable book.”
—George E. Vaillant, MD, professor of psychiatry;
author, Spiritual Evolution
Copyright
Copyright © 2011 Edward M. Hallowell, MD
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. Requests for permission should be directed to [email protected], or mailed to Permissions, Harvard Business School Publishing, 60 Harvard Way, Boston, Massachusetts 02163.
First Ebook Edition: January 2011
ISBN: 978-1-59139-923-0
To Dr. Shine,
who shines shoes and souls
at Boston’s Logan Airport
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Many people helped me in the writing of this book. I interviewed scores of leaders in business small and large, medicine, entertainment, sports, religion, academia, and other diverse organizations, all united by their expertise in bringing out the best in people. I quote some of these leaders in this book, so their names will appear. To them and to those whom space would not allow me to quote, let me say once again, thank you.
I also owe a huge debt to Melinda Merino and her great team at Harvard Business Review Press. Melinda’s faith in this project and her insistence that I get it right turned what might have been just an ordinary book into the best book it could be. She positively drew the best out of me!
I also thank Genoveva Llosa, the business writer Melinda put me in touch with to help me find the right framework and tone for a business audience.
Each of my now eighteen books has been delivered with the help of my trusty agent, Jill Kneerim. She has been my faithful guide and cheerleader for almost twenty years now. She is the best!
Finally, of course, I thank the stars in my sky: my wife, Sue, the kindest, most skilled woman I know, who puts up with my quirks and moods and loves me still; my daughter, Lucy, whose passion and verve know no match and who turns twenty-one, heading into a glorious adulthood, as this book goes to press; my son, Jack, who, at eighteen, stands tall, strong, smart, and full of all the best in life; and my youngest, Tucker, who, at fifteen, has the spunk and sparkle to set the world on fire. I thank God every day for these four wonderful people. They are truly my stars.
INTRODUCTION
Brain Science,
Peak Performance, and
Finding the Shine
WHAT MAKES A PERSON SHINE? What separates people who feel fulfilled from those who suffer with regret? Here’s a hint: it isn’t money in the bank, fame, trophies, or rank, as much as those may matter. Many people don’t finish first but nonetheless achieve greatness and long will be remembered, while many who do finish first will never be called great and will soon tumble into oblivion.
It doesn’t much matter what you’ve got in your personal asset bank. Smart is overrated. Talent is overrated. Breeding, Ivy League education, sophistication, wit, eloquence, and good looks—they matter, but they’re all overrated. What really matters is what you do with what you’ve got. If you hold nothing back, if you take chances and give your all, if you serve the world well, then you will exult in what you’ve done and you will shine—in the eyes of the world, in the eyes of those who matter to you, and in your own eyes as well.
The more a manager can help the people who work for him or her to shine, the greater that manager will be, and the greater the organization as a whole. Put simply, the best managers bring out the best from their people. This is true of football coaches, orchestra conductors, big-company executives, and small-business owners. They are like alchemists who turn lead into gold. Put more accurately, they find and mine the gold that resides within everyone.
Managing in a way that brings out people’s best is a critical task, perhaps second in importance only to parenting in shaping the future of our world. More than any other quality, it takes heart to be such a manager. Rather than define heart, let me tell you about a man who has it.
When I was traveling to interview people as part of my research for this book, I got to Boston’s Logan Airport early one day and decided to use the extra time to get my shoes shined. As I walked up to the stand, I noticed an old man seated next to it, a walker by his side. He was sitting with his head in his arms, which he had peacefully folded over the bars of the walker. Assuming he was just an elderly passenger taking a rest before his plane took off, I asked him if he knew where the shoe-shine guy might have gone.
“I’m the shoe-shine guy!” he proclaimed, straightening up immediately and showing the kind of smile that draws an instant smile out of you, too. “Set your bags next to my walker here and step on up into my office.” Propelled by this elderly gentleman’s sudden burst of energy, I hustled up onto the stand and settled into an old chair. Its sagging seat of cracked black leather had seen better days, but its proprietor was still going strong. As I put my feet onto the smooth brass footplates, I had no idea how extraordinary he was or how much he was about to influence me and this book.
He slid his chair over and announced in a slight southern accent, “Good mornin’, sir, I’m Dr. Shine.” He proceeded to inspect my shoes with the careful eye of a physician sizing up a new patient. He then began to spray water on my loafers, taking care not to wet my socks or trousers. “You in the corporate world?” he asked.
“No,” I said, “but I work with a lot of people who are. I’m a psychiatrist and a writer. My specialty is helping people get the most out of their abilities.”
“Interesting. Would you believe it, that’s my specialty, too! I get up every morning, and I look forward to helping people get into the right frame of mind so they can shine, no matter where they go or what they do. When I do that, I’m happy.”
“You sound like the better managers I consult with in business,” I said.
“Do I?” he replied, then added with a chuckle, “Well, I’m sure I don’t make their kind of money. But I do love