Me and My PDA. Tamar Levi

Me and My PDA

target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="#fb3_img_img_83e5d729-b73b-51ef-b84c-88abfe3ec8b7.jpg" alt="bullet"/>Do you find it very hard to do what your parents and teachers ask you to do, even things you know you are able to do?

bullet Do you think you have the same rights as the adults around you – such as your parents and teachers – and don’t understand why you should do what they tell you to do?

bullet Some young people with PDA have told us that they struggle when their parents ask them to do the things they need to do to get ready in the morning or to go to bed, such as getting dressed or brushing their teeth. Do you find these routines difficult?

bullet Do you find it hard to do something if it is asked using a sign, for example, ‘Don’t walk on the grass’ or ‘Keep quiet’?

Some children have also told us they find it difficult

when their parents ask them to get ready for

school or when their teachers ask them to

do things such as doing some homework

or getting changed for sports. Do you

find any of these things difficult?

Would you like to write down the demands

you find tricky?

• I struggle when my parents ask me to:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

• I struggle when my teachers ask me to:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

• I struggle when other people (you can write their names here if you want) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

ask me to:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You can do it! You can’t do it!

Some people with PDA have tried to explain to us how it feels when they are asked to do something that they are perfectly able to do. Some explained that it felt like if they had two voices inside of their heads arguing with each other: one telling them that they can do it and the other telling them that they absolutely can’t. They explained that this voice telling them not to do something can become very loud and controlling and it is exhausting to try to ignore this voice. Some explain that this voice ordering them not to do something can at times paralyse them, stopping them from doing what they want to and can do.

bullet Have you ever experienced anything like this?

It is indeed very tricky to put into words what goes on inside your head when confronted by demands. Feel free to do a drawing to explain this if you prefer to use images rather than words. If you want to do so now or later on, please do it here. It would be really useful for everyone to understand how hard some demands are for you.

Why can’t I just do it!?

You might have felt that although you have the skills to do something you are asked to do – for example putting your shoes on to get out of the house – at times, you just can’t get yourself to do it. This can be very frustrating.

bullet Do you often feel this way?

bullet If this is the case, do you feel at a loss to understand why you cannot do it, let alone explain it to others?

• Which are the requests you struggle most with?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

• Who are the people who ask you to do more things that you find it tricky to cooperate with?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What might be

making it difficult?

Some young people with

PDA have told us that when

they are having a bad day, a day

when they are feeling stressed out and

on edge, they can’t do small things that

on good days they can manage to do fine.

bullet Does this happen to you?

The young people we have worked with have told us that the following things make it more difficult to meet a demand.

When you’ve already been trying hard, things are

more difficult:

bullet when you feel anxious

bullet when you feel under pressure

bullet when you feel out of control

bullet when you feel on the spot

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