BKLN Manners. Kate Naito
we’ve got the upper hand because we control the resources dogs want: meals, treats, toys, the leash, the door, and so on. Use those resources to your advantage. In my home, if my dog Batman wants me to throw a toy for him, he’s got to look at me first. Not jump up. Not bark. Not stare at the toy. All of those things get him nowhere, and I simply stand like a statue while he flails about. I don’t give him a cue to sit or move my body to get his attention; rather, I quietly wait. The moment he looks me in the eye, bingo! I toss the toy. It’s a win-win: I got Batman’s attention, and Batman got his toy.
This kind of training goes a long way in teaching my dog how to communicate with me because he learns that his actions will lead to certain consequences. When he barks and jumps for a toy, the consequence is that I completely ignore him. He’ll think to himself, Hmm, this doesn’t seem to be working. Maybe I should try another strategy to get that toy. That’s when, ultimately, he’s going to look at me. The consequence of his eye contact? Exactly what he wants: the toy! He’s just learned, without me having to say anything, what kind of behavior (eye contact) gets him what he wants and what kind of behaviors (jumping and barking) aren’t even worth trying because they yield nothing. I want him to think he’s so clever—all he has to do is look at this silly human, and he gets his toy. He doesn’t need to bark, jump, or spin around anymore, so those behaviors will be culled from his repertoire in the future. Go ahead, let him think to himself, Humans are so easy to train. Just give them a look and I get what I want!
Check Me Out
Start the Check Me Out exercise in a quiet place with no distractions. There is no verbal cue, which is great practice for you, the human, to be a little more doglike. This exercise, when practiced consistently, will teach your dog that when he wants something, he should look at you in order to get it. Jumping, barking, and other rude behaviors won’t get him what he wants.
In the beginning, our criteria are pretty low. The dog only has to quickly glance at your face in order to “win” his treat. It’s critical to set the training session up so your dog can win the Check Me Out game easily. The more fun it is for him, the more quickly he’ll learn. That’s why it’s best to start in a quiet location and initially reward him for even the slightest glance. Remember, you and your dog are on the same team, so when he wins, you also win by getting a better behaved dog.
How to Teach Check Me Out
1 Hold a treat in your outstretched hand. Say nothing but maintain gentle eye contact with your dog. Avoid leaning into your dog or staring wide-eyed. Be natural and relaxed.▲ Ilyssa holds out a treat and says nothing. Susu looks at the treat and first tries her old standby trick: Give Paw. Ilyssa holds still while Susu then thinks about how to get that treat.
2 Wait for the dog to look at you. He will likely look at the treat for a while first, or he might jump up or bark at you. Hold still and ignore all of these undesirable responses.▲ Aha! The moment Susu looks at Ilyssa’s face, Ilyssa marks it with “Yes”…
3 The moment he looks at your face, immediately mark it with “Yes!” and reward him with the treat from your hand. Revisit Chapter 1 if you’re not sure how to mark and reward.
▲ …and Susu gets the treat.
From there, practice this exercise at home, indoors, in different scenarios:
Use a variety of treats.
Use his food bowl. Require eye contact before you put the bowl down.
Use toys. Hold a toy and wait for his eye contact before you initiate the tug or fetch game. Ignore any rude behavior to get the toy; only eye contact while being quiet will get him the toy.
At walk time, open the door to go outside only after he looks at you.
In order to be invited on the couch with you, he must look at you and get your permission to come up. When he looks at you, lean back and pat the couch to invite him up. If he tries to jump up without asking permission, gently block him with your forearm or body and wait for him to ask politely with eye contact. Note: This strategy only applies to times when you are already on the couch.
Then, practice Check Me Out when you’re outside playing or walking. Increase the value of your treats to the really good stuff, like tiny pieces of boiled chicken, hot dog, or cheese, because you’re asking your dog to work much harder in a new or distracting place. Even though he’s already learned Check Me Out indoors, it doesn’t mean he’ll have a clue what it means outdoors. Here is a sample sequence.
1 Practice Check Me Out with treats while you’re standing on your stoop or in your yard. Get four-for-four. Practice at this level until your dog really grasps it, which could take several minutes—or several days.
2 Next, take a break from your walk on the sidewalk or in the park by practicing Check Me Out. Choose a place with few distractions, like a park bench that’s off the main path, so your dog can focus on the game and be successful. Get four-four-four at this level. Continue to make time for a quick Check Me Out game during every walk.
3 Practice the game as before, but in a more crowded or noisy area. If your dog loses focus on the game, it likely means the distractions are too intense for him (or the rewards are not sufficiently motivating for this difficult task), and you should either move to a quieter spot or upgrade to super-tasty rewards, such as bits of meat.
4 Once you start playing Check Me Out outside, your dog, without prompting, might look up at you once in a while during your walks. If he does, reward the heck out of him. This means he is generalizing the behavior and considers any time to be training time. Your dog always has the choice to acknowledge you or ignore you, and if he looks up to check in with you at any time, it means he is choosing you over the squirrels and other distractions. Good dog!
See the Appendix for a sample plan and chart to help you track your progress when training Check Me Out.
Troubleshooting
Problem: My dog will only look at me when it’s totally quiet.
Solution: Keep working in “easy” locations for several days, or longer, until he really gets it. While indoors, use as many different rewards as possible: treats, his food dish, toys, the leash, and access to any area he wants, such as the couch. Then, before attempting Check Me Out outside, add an intermediate step to help solidify the behavior. For this step, you’ll practice for several days in the same quiet location, but you’ll add a mild distraction. While practicing, add some background noise by playing recordings of traffic, dogs barking, or something similar, all of which can be easily found online. You can also add some activity to your indoor setting by asking family members to walk around in the background, rolling a ball behind you as you present your Check Me Out treat, or creating other movement in the training space.
Problem: My dog seems uncomfortable looking at me.
Solution: Some dogs naturally avoid eye contact, but there are ways to make these dogs more at ease. First, make sure your body is in a natural position and you’re calmly looking at your dog during this exercise. If you’re crouched over your dog or staring intensely at him, it’s no wonder he feels uncomfortable! Provided that your body language is relaxed, you can use a technique called shaping, in which you reward the dog for any small step toward the end goal. At first, any time he glances away from the treat, in any direction, mark and reward. Get four-for-four. (Revisit Chapter 1 if you need to review four-for-four.) As the training sessions progress, tighten the criteria. Next time, mark and reward only glances in the general direction of your body. Get four-for-four. Next, mark and reward only glances anywhere on your body. Continue tightening the criteria so that you only mark and reward glances that are closer and closer to your face. Ultimately, only mark and reward when your dog looks into or near your eyes. Let your dog dictate how fast he progresses; it’s better to go slowly and keep your dog comfortable than to set a goal like “Tucker must be giving me direct eye contact by Tuesday,” which