Streets of New York. Mark Anthony
when she saw Squeeze. It was over. That night in the club, she laid eyes on him, her skin tingled and her throat went totally dry. Malik became invisible as the beam from her eyes was focussed on Squeeze. Lindsay remembered thinking I knew him when. And he’d come a long way from regular hustling and thugging to owner of the hottest weekend jump-off in BK. He was the epitomy of the powerful gangsta Pooh told her they all aspired to be. And Squeeze was even more handsome. Squeeze and Show had surpassed everyone’s expectations. Lindsay felt the attraction returning even stronger. She remembered how regally gangster he looked as he walked to the table sat and said:
“Lindsay, Pooh’s lil’ sis? How’re you doing?” His voice immediately put her in the mood for sex and they did the do.
Ever since they had hooked up, about three months ago, Squeeze had made a point about being there for her. Physically he broke her off but mentally she had him loving her even though she knew that he could never guarantee that emotion. It was like that because Lindsay wanted it like that. She told herself things would only get better and she faced the world wide-eyed thinking that Squeeze would be there just in case she fell. Lindsay would make him fall in love and maybe, just maybe he would leave his family for her. She thought about it and quickly realized that if it didn’t happen that way she really didn’t mind sharing him.
His wifey could have him as husband and father at home. But Lindsay knew Squeeze would come back to the streets and when he did, she’d be there for him. She’d be wifey to the hustler inside of him. Squeeze had told her once that he was a hustler for life and thus his moniker H4L. She knew as long as the hustler lived he’d always be by her side. Lindsay heard the professor but gently tuned him out as she gave way to her feelings and reflected.
In a short time, he had transformed her from a chicken-head stuck in a relationship that was going-nowhere into a blinging loudly frosty name brand wearing fashion plate. She had a boyfriend who worked for Footlocker, now Squeeze treated her to the finest of everything.
“I love to see you dressed up baby-doll. Always stay rocking the best gears, compliments of your main Squeeze.” He had bought her so much clothing she showed up late to every event including classes because it took her forever to decide on what to wear.
Lindsay boasted Foxes, Chinchillas and couture that were the finest brands. Neighbors started hating when a rumor that she had expensive outfits for everyday of the year was leaked by her mother. Lindsay recalled sitting in the living room with her mother and relating an incident which occurred one evening as she walked home from the train station. Her mother had made light of the whole incident. Yet Lindsay was shook by what had happened.
“Mommy I swear, he followed me all the way home and then he tried to slow me down by asking what time it was?”
“He could’ve just seen how nice you looked and was trying out a pick-up line, honey. These young thugs out here, they respected your brother’s way of life, they’re not gonna disrespect Pooh’s little sis.”
“No mommy he was straight up trying to rob me. He asked me what time it was. Any man trying that line is trying to rob you.”
“You can’t be serious Lindsay? You thought it was a scam?”
“I mean the time, who cares about the time? I was hollering at him to back up before his ass gets hurt.”
“Lindsay you can’t go around challenging these young riff-raffs.”
“Why not, mommy? They bleed just like I do.”
“Yes, they do Lindsay. But any damn little thing and they ready to shoot you. And I cannot afford to lose you. You’re all I have left in this world. You know your brother…”
“Yeah mommy you’re right,” Lindsay had said after sitting and thinking. “You know what I’ll do?” Lindsay asked. Before her mother could reply Lindsay suddenly blurted out: “I’ll ask Squeeze to help me find a better place.” No sooner had the words left her lips than her mother began ranting and raving.
“Squeeze, Squeeze, Squeeze! That’s all I ever hear you sayin’. Is that your new anthem? Wha’ happened to ah…what’s his name?”
“You mean Malik?”
“Yes that one. Him. What happened to him? ”
“Nothing why? He’s doing him. I’m about me.”
“Be about you and not about no man, cuz let me tell you girl, a man will leave you hangin’ at anytime it pleases him. You’ll be stuck out there all alone.”
“Mommy it ain’t like that between me and Squeeze, he just like to look out cuz, we like, ah you know? Family. I mean he knew my brother, your son as well as we did. You even said Show,” Lindsay paused and stared at her mother, “looked out for you. Mommy you know Squeeze, Show and Promise, they were Pooh’s best friend. They’re like our extended street family. They were my brother’s best friends.”
“Extended street family, huh? Tell me what’s really up with you an’ Squeeze? Why is he so interested in your welfare?”
“Ma, don’t sweat it. It’s not really like that.”
“Humph! All I’m saying is don’t grow to be dependent on no man. They’re out to get sump’n too. He’s always giving and you always taking, one day you may have to pay for it. And paying might not be what you want to do at that time.”
Lindsay remembered her mother’s words. Squeeze never asked for any payment in return and if he did Lindsay knew she’d gladly give it up. Lindsay was concerned about being made a victim by a hater from her Brooklyn hood, and asked Squeeze to get her an apartment.
Squeeze promptly did and moved her into her own furnished one bedroom dig, in a nice building with a view of the Bay in Queens. Squeeze helped Lindsay developed her driving skills. One month after passing her road test, she was presented with her own whip, a white convertible BMW 645i.
Lindsay took pride in knowing she had her own apartment, and now an official member of the BMW set. Who would have guessed that couple months ago she was riding in Malik’s bucket with him pawing her, and she trying to figure what she wanted to do next. Lindsay had quickly become an adult with no plans, at nineteen years old. She was getting used to staying at home with mom.
Then along came Squeeze and her self esteem vaulted to new heights. Especially when he started to shower her with diamonds and pearls. At first she thought he was kind to her because she was Pooh’s little sister, after all her dearly departed older brother had been best friends with Squeeze.
Things became sad when the potholes of street living snapped her brother’s life short. Life seemed dim then she met and fell in love with Squeeze. To Lindsay it was like having a big brother, lover and friend, all rolled in one. Squeeze never tried to replace Pooh but he was happy he had Pooh’s sister.
“I guess hazel eyes run in y’all fam. For real, you wear it the best, baby-doll,” he smiled and said on that magical night.
The unexpected happened in a flash; the killing of Show and the shootings at the club owned by Squeeze and Show. As if that wasn’t enough, all of a sudden she couldn’t get at Squeeze. Her constant worrying drove her straight over the precipice of hopelessness and into a funk that threatened to end at insanity. Lindsay hadn’t heard from him in such a long time she became convinced that the ride on easy street was absolutely over.
Lindsay was certain that the relationship between her and Squeeze meant something. She knew that despite having a family out in Carnesie he would spend a lot of time with her doing fun things. Squeeze used to take her out to parties on phat yachts and they would spend nights on the town having expensive dinners in new restaurants. She went to hot places that she had only dreamt of and either seen in the movies or on television.
Squeeze flat out spoiled her and he broke her off with exquisite sex. Blew my back out, Lindsay recalled and unconsciously she rubbed her swollen breast. She missed
Squeeze so much that her