Crave All Lose All. Erick S Gray
the fuck I’m talkin’ about! You getting distracted by pussy when I’m tryin’ to put some paper in your pockets,” Tyriq shouted.
“I was just lookin’…”
“Fuck them hos and do you.”
“You right,” I said.
The light changed, and soon we were on the block again. I pulled out the money left over from last night and handed it to him outside my crib.
“Here, yo…thanks,” I said.
“What’s this? Fuck you think you’re doin’, Vince?”
Tyriq looked at me as if I had disrespected him.
“I’m giving you back what I got left.”
“Yo, do I look like I need that shit back?”
“I’m sayin wit’…”
“Take that and buy your son some toys.”
“You sure…?”
“Vince, that’s your money, ayyite?”
“Thanks, yo,” I said, stuffing the knot back into my pocket.
“Holla at a nigga…”
“No doubt, one,” I said giving him a loud dap thinking a nigga gotta live. I walked to my mom’s crib.
I was about to take an afternoon nap when I heard the phone ring. I picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hello, can I please speak to Mr. Vincent Grey.” A woman’s voice said.
“This is he…”
“I’m calling about your job application to UPS. We’re giving out a courtesy call to let you know that your application is on file.”
“Oh, good, so when are y’all hiring?” I said excitedly.
“Not until the end of the year, November.”
“When…?”
“November… we usually hire more help around that time, to help out with the holiday season, and we’ll give you a call around then.”
“November…? Why the fuck you called me for if y’all ain’t hiring right now?” I barked.
“Excuse me…” she was shocked.
“Lady, I need a fuckin’ job now. Fuck I’m gonna wait five months for y’all to call,” I said hanging up.
I fell back on the bed. After a few winks, my moms came in and told me Tyriq was on the phone. It was five in the evening.
She passed me the cordless and raised her eyebrows before walking out the room.
“Tyriq, what’s up?” I asked.
“You sleep?”
“Nap,” I said.
“I don’t know what you do most, ayyite? Fuckin’ with da bitches or sleepin’. Meet me in an hour,” he said.
“An hour…?”
“Yeah, at the corner of your block…”
I hung up and started getting ready. My mother came back in the room.
“So, you and Tyriq are best friends again?”
“We always been cool,” I replied.
“How’s that boy? I haven’t seen him in a long time.”
“He’s good,” I said, throwing on my Tims. I knew where the conversation with her was going.
“You know, Vincent, I heard a lot of things about that boy. Is he into drugs?” my mother asked. She already knew the answer. “He’s always driving nice expensive trucks.”
“I guess...”
“Boy, don’t lie to me. I still talk to his mother. You think that I don’t know?”
“Why’d you ask me then?”
“I know he’s your friend, and y’all grew up together, but don’t let that boy get you into any trouble. You hear me, Vincent? You’re a good man. If your father was alive, you know what he’d say. He loved you and wanted nothing but the best for you. Don’t disappoint him.”
“Yeah, I’m wit’ you, ma.”
There was a short pause as both of us reflected on the memory of dad.
“I miss him, ma. Sometimes it seemed so much easier when he was around.”
My mother came closer, pulled me into her arms, embracing me.
“I know baby. I miss him too. But you have to be strong for me, for the family. I know things are hard now, Vincent. In due time, baby… God speed…”
Nine
I waited for Tyriq on the corner of my block smoking a Black & Mild. It was boiling outside, and I felt like I was about to melt in my wife-beater, denim jeans, and timberlands. My mother’s words were eating me up on the inside as I waited for Tyriq to show. I had to do this one thing, make a couple thousands, put myself above water and shit.
Around six in the evening a burgundy Escalade pulled up.
“Get in, Vince,” Tyriq said.
I jumped in giving him dap and he pulled off. He was sporting a fresh throwback Bulls Jersey and a matching fitted.
“Damn, nigga, you don’t sleep, huh?” I joked.
“I’ll sleep when I dead,” he responded.
“Yo, I’m in,” I said feeling my heart race.
“Now you bout ya biz,” he nodded.
“I just need to make some quick paper, get me back on my feet and then I’m goin’ back to school,” I added.
“Yo, ain’t nuthin’ wrong wit’ that. I need some educated niggas having my back in this game. Yo, some of these young corner-niggas that I got workin’ for me, they bust guns and can hold it down. But when it comes to simple math and some intelligent shit, they dumb as rocks, Vince,” he stated.
We drove down Supthin Blvd.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Ayyite, tonight I want you to meet some of the fellows.”
“That’s cool. But Tyriq, one thing, I don’t have shit wit’ this game. And I ain’t no killer. I just wanna make some money, that’s all. I ain’t out here trying to kill anybody.”
He stared at me before replying.
“What da fuck you mean you ain’t a killer? Shit Vince, everybody’s a killer. You just don’t know it yet.”
“What’d you mean by that?”
“Everybody’s got two fuckin’ sides to them…good, bad, slut, wifey… fuck it. Everybody’s got that twin self they try hard to contain. You just ain’t brought yours out yet.”
“What, you tryin’ to kick psychology now?”
“Ayyite, if a nigga come after you… better yet, if a nigga come after Chandra or your son, your mother, what you gonna do?”
I hesitated and Tyriq answered for me. “Yo, I tell you what you’re gonna do, Vince. You’re gonna take that nigga out before he come get at you and your fam. No doubt about that, right?”
I shrugged.
“You’d be a fool if you didn’t lay that nigga out. You feel me?”
“Yeah,