Love and a Gangsta. Erick S Gray
in the bathtub becoming wrinkled. America had her arms around me with her back against the tub, massaging my chest with her fingertips, with my back slightly pressed against her tits. It was such a serene moment, that I didn’t want to get up from between her legs. The candles still burned dimly.
“You know, I was thinking,” America uttered, breaking the silence in the bathroom.
“What’s that baby?”
“Why don’t you come with me to the studio tomorrow night?”
Her fingers still gently rubbed against my chest and I had my eyes closed enjoying her touch.
“That’s you.”
“And… You got talent, Omar. I know Kendal won’t mind.”
“This Kendal, how did y’all meet?”
“Through a mutual friend from work.”
“Is that so?”
“I already know what you’re thinking, Omar.”
“I didn’t say a word.”
“We’re just friends and do good business together. He looks out.”
“I don’t trust the nigga.”
“You never met him before. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, if a nigga is giving you free sessions in the studio, and you ain’t even coming out of your pocket for that loot, he’s after one thing,” I hinted.
“Every man is not trying to fuck me, Omar. He’s a friend,” she assured me.
“Ahight, whatever… Have you seen yourself in the mirror, baby you look good, and if a nigga ain’t tryin’ to get at you, then he must be gay.”
She chuckled. “You crazy, but that’s what you want?”
“Nah, I’m just saying, nothing comes free in this world. You gonna end up having to pay one way or the other, either through cash or what you got between your legs.”
“I’ve been going to see him for a little over a year now, and he gave no indication that he wants me like that,” so she said.
“Indeed and maybe he’s just subtle with his, baby. He ain’t trying to scare you off. He knows you got talent. You’re a gold mine to him, and he knows you gotta man you’re serious with, but I guarantee, if I ever fuck up, and we become shaky, that’s when he’s gonna step off the sideline.”
“All you gotta do then is don’t fuck up, and we ain’t gonna have no problems, right baby?”
I smiled. “You think I’m trying to lose all this and have the next man claim my glory.”
“You better not. I love you too much.”
“I love you too, America.”
I felt my dick getting hard again under the water. Her touch always did drive my ass crazy. I wanted her again. I was about to turn myself over and position myself between her legs once more. But she stopped me.
“What are you gonna do with your life, Omar? You’re twenty-five years old, and I love you too much to see you waste your life and talents.”
“I know, I’ve been thinking about getting a job. But I ain’t got no experience in shit but hustling.”
“Why don’t you go back to school and get your GED. I can help pay for you to go to a community college, or maybe you can learn a trade.”
“A trade?” I laughed. “You mean something like becoming a mechanic or cook?”
“Whatever you feel comfortable doing, baby.”
My future didn’t look too good right now. Rahmel warned me that this would be the hard part, change. I was at a crossroad in my life, and knew that I needed to set a foundation for myself. If I didn’t, it would be easier for me to link up with my old crew and do what I thought I did best. I wanted to see them again, but I was hesitant, because I knew they still lived that way of life, and that way of life could violate my parole and I would have to finish my five-year bid. I sighed.
“Whatever you plan to do, I’m with you all the way, baby.”
She kissed me on the side of my neck and continued to massage my chest. There was a long pause. So many things were running through my mind. Then America hit me with, “Omar, promise that you will never go back to that life again? Are you done with the streets? Because if you’re not, then don’t waste my time. I need to know, will it be different now? Will it, Omar?”
I didn’t answer right away. I thought for a moment then said, “America, all I’m gonna say is that I’m different now, and I’m gonna try so hard to do right by you. I can’t predict the future, because I don’t know the future. But I do know what I feel for you right now, is real. And I’m ready to accept the challenge by doing something positive with my life.”
“I believe in you baby. I do.”
I couldn’t fuck up and break her heart. She didn’t deserve it. If I got locked up again, there was no guarantee that she would continue to be by my side. A woman could only take so much from a man.
America began to run her hands smoothly across my skin, nibbling at my ear. I felt her nipples hardening against my back. Then she began to recite a verse from one of her songs in my ear. I remained still between her long legs as America sang softly, “The urge I have to feel you here with me. It leaves me breathless, for that memory. I have to have you more than once in life this situation boy it’s out of my hands. The way you touch me, the way you caress me, the way your not afraid to get down with me, the way you look at me…ooh, the way that you move, says I’m always on your mind, our signs never lie…”
Her words were soothing and in my mind at the time nothing mattered.
The next morning we went down to Queens’ courthouse to get married. It was the last day of her vacation, and America had to be back at work the next day. I wanted her to go back to her job a married woman.
I paid two strangers fifty dollars each to be witnesses. America wore the brilliant cut diamond 14k white gold mount with the platinum band on her ring finger. Even though it was purchased with drug money, the gift came from my heart.
I smiled, and America smiled back. “You nervous?”
“Nah, nervousness is for men who aren’t sure of themselves. I’m very sure of myself today. You know I love you and will continue to love you.”
“You better save that stuff for when we’re in front of the judge.”
“I got plenty more coming for the ceremony, baby. Don’t worry.”
“Come here,” she said and planted a sweet kiss on me. “You are my everything.”
It was after one in the afternoon. We were finally called in the room for the ceremony. An elderly white man stood in a wrinkled suit clutching a bible. He smiled at us and encouraged us to come forward.
While he spoke, my eyes never left America. I had my hands in hers and never stopped beaming.
“Young woman, do you wish to say your vows now?” he asked America.
She nodded and looked straight in my eyes and said, “Omar, you are a man that I love and trust so much. You’re my everything. You are the epitome of what love between a man and a woman should be. You are always the first thing I think about when I rise in the morning and the last I think about when I lay to rest. The first time I looked into your eyes, I knew you would become someone so special to me, someone so dear to me. And I promise to love faithfully. I promise to be one with you, together you and me bringing love, peace, and tranquility. I promise to give you all I can as your woman, because you’re all I want in a man. Let us