Promise Kept. Stephanie Perry Moore
to Miami. I was successful in not seeing them until my dad banged on the hotel room door and yelled that Coach told him I was in there.
“Alright Dad, but I got a game in the morning,” I said, sounding real tired.
“Whatever, son, open the door. I need to talk to you now.”
I couldn’t even look his way. Feeling bad was an understatement. I hated letting my parents down. What could I say?
“I know, Dad. I made a bad decision.”
“I hear you, son, but you can’t just run away from us when you get in some trouble. Besides, this year you have had one incident after another and we have always been there for you.”
“I shouldn’t have embarrassed you guys, Dad. Truthfully, you couldn’t be more bummed out with me than I am with myself.”
He went on anyway, lecturing me for another thirty minutes, then told me to rest up for the game. I appreciated that at the end of the day he brought our conversation back to a positive place.
As he prepared to leave, he touched my shoulder and said, “Listen. All this talk now is that you’re coming off of the bench and you won’t be able to help the game. Shut the media and the fans up; do your thing tomorrow, aight?”
“Aight, I’ma try,” I laughed, trippin’ that my pops was down.
Eyeing me to make sure I took him seriously, he said, “Naw, you gon’ do it. You hurting this team on the bench. You get in that game and make up the difference.”
He had no idea how right he was. In the first quarter we were down 28-0. Saxon was dropping passes. Deuce was getting blocked turn after turn, and Lance was getting sacked every snap. It was a massacre!
In the second quarter Lenard and I were able to join the game. We gave Lance confidence and the O line started blocking better. Deuce was able to run and he scored a touchdown. With Markus back as a leader on defense, we held them, and I caught some crazy balls and scored two touchdowns.
Even with all that battling, when the end of the fourth quarter came we were still behind 28-21. Though we did our best, USC did not come up short. I wanted to beat the Trojans so bad. After all, we lost the first game of the season to them. I played a big part in that loss. My absence in the first quarter of this game will always be in the back of my mind. Once again, I let my teammates down. As we walked to the middle of the field to shake hands with the victorious Trojans, Coach Red didn’t even look my way. I know he was pissed at me. Though we played a hard-fought game, in the end it just wasn’t enough simply trying to win!
2
Dealing with Trouble
The mood in the locker room was somber at best; some young men were crying, and rightfully so. For the seniors they’d never get another chance for that ring.
Coach Red said, “Men, we only lost two games all year, we have to take our hats off to the Trojans. I know you’re mad at me about the decisions that I made and maybe you’re equally upset at some of your teammates for not thinking on this bowl trip. But guys, we have to put this behind us. We had a heck of a season. Nobody gave us anything. We were always ranked in the ugliest spots. Most games we were favored to lose. You guys are champions in my book. Every single one of you is a winner. You may cause me a lot of pain, but one thing for sure, we came together as a team. You need to know wherever you go in life you’re someone special.”
A few guys cheered, even more clapped. His speech was moving, but it didn’t move me. I said to myself I was never going to be depressed again. I wanted to keep my self-esteem intact. However, even with two of the longest catches of my football career, a 97-yarder and a 98-yarder, maybe if I had been in the game sooner I could have done more. I sat down on the bench, placed my head between my knees and let the tears mix in with my sweat.
Then I heard Calvin’s voice yell out, “OFFENSE, man, y’all were terrible out there. Y’all didn’t block nobody!” I looked up and he was in the face of two of our linemen.
“You need to get out of my face,” our center said to him. “That’s the problem with you now, Calvin, you can’t keep your emotions in check; starting some fight at the bar, getting some of our players suspended because they’re trying to support your stupid ways.”
“Oh, you calling me stupid?” Calvin said to him as he pushed him into another guy.
Bilboa jumped into the scene and pushed Calvin into another corner. “Naw, he’s trying to blame me for him playing poorly.” I heard more arguing but I put my head back down.
“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Deuce came over and said to me.
“Nice try, buddy, but that one don’t fly.”
“I’m serious man; I choked up in the beginning. You told me it was going to be my time to shine and all I had to do was hold it down until you got in the game, and I choked. You saw more in me than I saw in myself and then when you did come in you put us in a position to almost win it. My yards were the worst of all this year—twenty-two. Now come on, I know your folks want to say something to you. Let’s shower and then go enjoy the night. We don’t have to fly back until tomorrow.”
“I know you didn’t just say enjoy the night.”
“Perry, what you gon’ do, wallow in it, man? Learning some lessons? No mistake about it, we got to the big dance because we were good. We’re just freshmen and nobody going to think we can get back here next year. But we can, if we take tonight, shake it off, and get ready for this time next year.”
“Alright man, I hear you,” I agreed, so he would leave me the heck alone. When I went out into our crowd, my parents had a look of pity in their eyes. It took my mom all she had inside of her to say something positive, which wasn’t her style because she used to shoot straight at me.
She said to me, “Son, you did so good.”
“Yeah, son, you really did,” my dad agreed. Man, both of them were crazy. How could I have done such a great job if I was out of the game because of foolishness? I just wasn’t trying to be around them or anybody else. People were saying stuff to me, asking me for my autograph as I meandered my way through the crowd, not stopping until Savoy stepped in front of me. The way we left things a week ago, I didn’t know where we stood. With everything going on, she actually hadn’t been on my mind.
I appreciated it when she said, “I know you got to be hurting, I’m sorry it went down like that. Let’s just go out tonight, take your mind off of some of it.” She kissed me on the cheek, nibbled on my ear a bit, and I sort of pushed her away.
“Naw, I’m just going to go back to the hotel.” I knew she and her parents had come all this way to support the team, but I just couldn’t handle any company right now.
“Me and some of the other track girls are going out. I thought you would have missed me this week, but you’re still going and putting everything in your life first. Cool, fine. Go back to the hotel and relax then.”
I did not feel like putting up with her crap. I had just lost a National Championship game. How dare she try to brush it under the rug. Did she think that her little peck was going to make me forget what had just slipped away?
“Hey, I didn’t think we were together no way, from what you said last week,” I retorted in anger.
“Oh, dumb me. You’re right!” She turned around, flung her hair in my face and walked away. I tried to grab her but more fans stepped between us. I towered over most of them and could see that as she walked away she wasn’t even looking back. I’m done with it; maybe she was right. Maybe it shouldn’t have been all about me. But if Deuce couldn’t understand it, my parents couldn’t understand it, and Savoy couldn’t understand it—then maybe God would just let me wallow.
On the bus to the hotel I sat in my seat and prayed, Lord, this is a lot to deal with. Help me to not get into a funk, although I am already