Band Fags!. Frank Anthony Polito

      Jackie,

      You are a multi-talented student whom I thoroughly enjoy! Keep up your conscientious efforts. You can do anything you put your mind to!

      Ms. Lemieux

      —LISTS—

      SPORT

      EVENT

      WINNER

      DEATHS

      —FRESHMAN—

      1984–1985

      Johnny, Are You Queer?

      “Johnny, what’s the deal, boy?

      Is your love for real, boy?”

      —Josie Cotton

      September 1984.

      A year and four months have passed since Brad and I went to Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp as piddly little 7^th-going-on-8^th graders. I can’t even believe it’s our third and final year at Webb Junior High. As Freshmen, we’re gonna Rule the School!

      In case you’re wondering what we’re still doing in junior high, I should probably explain…In the “Friendly City” of Hazeltucky, you don’t go to high school till your Sophomore year. Which is totally lame, I know. But apparently back in like 1967, the only junior high around was Howard Beecher. And once there got to be too many kids living in the Hazel Park school district to fit in one school, they built another junior high and divided the Freshman class into two.

      Depending on where you lived, you either went to Beecher—with all the Burn-Outs—or to the much cooler new junior high, Webb, named after some guy, Wilfred D. Which is where my Mom went. Up till 9^th grade when she got pregnant with me, got married, and dropped out.

      Okay, I know what you’re thinking…Your Mom got pregnant with you when she was 14 years old? How the heck does that happen in this day and age? But that was like, 1969, “The Summer of Love.” And to be perfectly honest, I don’t wanna think about how it happened. (Gross!)

      There’s this picture of my parents taken on their wedding day. Standing in front of my grandparents’ house in the January snow. My Mom looks so tiny and scared. But my Dad’s got his arm around her, holding on like he’s never gonna let go. And to this day, he hasn’t. I’ve gotta admit, I’m proud of them. Most people thought it would never work. A 17-year-old boy marrying a 14-year-old girl. But fourteen and a half years later, they’re still together.

      In a way, I think my being born was a good thing. My mother always says all she ever wanted was to fall in love, get married, and raise a family. Which is what she did. Maybe a little sooner than she expected, but…How many people can say they’ve done exactly what they wanted to do with their lives?

      Though thinking about it now, it’s hard to believe. I mean, I’m 14. And I’m still a kid. I’ve got a bijillion things I wanna do with my life. And dropping out of school, getting married, and having a baby is not one of them. Back in 6^th grade, they showed us that After School Special, Schoolboy Father, and it totally freaked me out!

      One time, my Dad told me this funny story…Senior year, he gets caught smoking in the boys’ bathroom at Hillbilly High. This Hall Monitor walks in and she’s all like, “Young man…Do you want me to call your parents?”

      And my Dad’s like, “No…But you can call my wife!”

      So this afternoon before 7^th hour, we’re standing at Brad’s locker…

      He’s got Algebra Man. Who just after Lunch today finished teaching my class trinomials. Under his real identity—Mr. Bond—he’s also the Cross-Country coach. He’s also totally crazy! About once a week, he comes into class dressed up as Algebra Man. Complete with mask, cape, the whole shebang, he teaches us in character for the entire hour! What makes it even crazier is…After Algebra Man leaves, Mr. Bond will come back into class and he’s all like, “How come I’m never around when Algebra Man pays a visit?”

      Lucky me…I’ve got Gorgeous George for Civics. Other than from reading