Reverie. Candace Gold
patients first before anything else and that bothered her. Knowing Jonathan and his ethics, however, this situation wasn’t about to change. Whether or not she’d be willing to accept this was at the heart of the matter. Could she be able to mold her life around his practice? Nikki wasn’t too certain and though she didn’t want to lose Jonathan, she felt she needed breathing space for now. While she vacationed in Paris she would dwell on the answers to these questions. Everything Parisian seemed to occupy center stage of her thoughts now. Though she had no idea why it seemed so important and right for her to do so, she knew it was necessary and wasn’t about to challenge her instincts.
Even if she got her mind off Jonathan, she still found it difficult to stay focused on the column she was writing for the paper. Already thinking in French, she found herself referring to the places by their French names. She kept imagining herself walking down the Champs Elysées. In her mind’s eye she could see the impressive Arc de Triomphe in the distance. She even began to recall several memorable scenes from An American in Paris, an old Gene Kelly film from 1951. She’d seen the movie so many times she knew most of the dialogue by heart. With all this going on in her head, the public relations piece she’d been working on didn’t have a chance to see the light of day.
Before Nikki realized it, the last of the morning had flown by, and it was time to meet Jonathan for lunch at The Greek’s.
* * * *
Jonathan was at the table waiting for her and waved to get her attention. She returned the wave and headed toward where he sat. He was dressed in a dark blue navy suit and smiled when he noticed she wore a blue suit, as well. They were so compatible in so many ways, even in their taste in clothing. He noticed a man from another table openly looking at her. Men often did, and he couldn’t blame them. She was a striking woman with her flaming, red hair and long, shapely legs. Of course her face was lovely, as well, with its delicate high cheekbones and small, upturned nose which was home to a light scattering of freckles. Her blue eyes were large and often changed in color to reflect her mood. As she neared, he noticed a light bluish tinge under her eyes. Perhaps she hadn’t slept well. Hopefully, after they talked, they’d be able to put last night behind them and move on.
She sat down and smiled at Jonathan. He smiled back and swept back the shock of hair that always fell over his forehead. The waitress walked over and handed them both menus. As Nikki scanned the menu, she noticed Jonathan’s eyes on her as she looked up.
“That locket you’re wearing, I’ve never seen it before.”
“It belonged to my mother. It’s the only thing I have left from her.”
“You never really speak about her–”
“Better decide what you want. The waitress is returning.”
A beat later, the waitress was standing at their table, pad and pen in hand. Nikki ordered a Greek salad with grilled chicken, while Jonathan chose a gyro, probably influenced by the smell wafting over in their direction from the meat cooking on the rotisserie.
After the waitress left with their order, Jonathan initiated the conversation. Smiling, he reached over and took her hand in his. “I’m glad you could make it for lunch.”
“I wanted to apologize about last night.”
“You were one wild woman, I’ll give you that. I’m glad you’re feeling better about it.”
“That’s just it. I don’t know how I feel about you putting your life–our lives–on hold at the drop of a phone call.”
“When a patient is in distress, it’s my obligation to help him. That’s why I became a psychologist in the first place.”
Nikki took her hand back and placed her napkin on her lap. “That’s something I’m not sure I can deal with, or even want to.” She held up her hand to stop Jonathan from interrupting her now that she was on track. “I need some time to sort things out. I no longer know how I feel about all this–and us–as a couple. So, I’ve decided to go to Paris.”
“Wow!”
“Is that all you can say?”
“Well, you’ve certainly caught me by surprise,” Jonathan said, running his hand through his hair. “I never expected you to drop such a bombshell. But, of all places, why Paris?”
The waitress brought their food and scurried away.
“Why are you so surprised? You’ve always known how much I’ve wanted to go.”
“Yes, but…we were supposed to go together. On our honeymoon.”
“I…I feel that I need some space.”
“You don’t have to go clear across an ocean to find it.” Jonathan slammed his sandwich onto his plate and took a sip of water.
“I have to get away in order to sort things out…”
“By that you mean us, don’t you?”
“That…and what I want to do with my life,” Nikki replied, stabbing a cucumber with her fork.
Jonathan reached across the table to touch Nikki’s arm. “I thought the two were synonymous.”
Nikki shook her head. “I’m not too sure anymore. I need to go and think about everything. A different backdrop will help.”
“Or complicate matters.” Jonathan pulled back his arm.
“Maybe. But I’m willing to take that chance.”
“Well, if it makes any difference, I’m certain about how I feel,” he added.
“You, of all people, should understand how I feel. Things change, people change. Right now I feel as if I’m going with the flow.”
Just because I’m a psychologist doesn’t mean I can’t get hurt. “It sounds like I don’t have much of a choice.”
“No, I guess you don’t.”
He needed to shelve his hurt for now. “When are you going?”
“Tomorrow.”
“So soon? How long were you planning this getaway?”
Nikki broke into a broad smile. “Did it all last night on the computer. I’ve been talking about going for so many years that once I made the decision, I jumped in with both feet. I went online and made all the arrangements. I even found a gorgeous apartment to rent.”
“You’re renting an apartment?” Jonathan’s face clouded. “How long do you intend to stay?”
“Two, three weeks tops.”
He let his breath out. “So you’re not thinking about relocating?”
She laughed. “Of course not. I want to rub shoulders with the locals rather than fellow tourists.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll be back before you know it. That’s the trouble with trips. By the time you arrive, the countdown begins to when you leave.”
Even though that made Jonathan chuckle, he feared there was a chance she’d love Paris enough to stay longer–or heaven forbid–forever. “You’ve always had a unique way of looking at things.”
As they ate, Nikki began to talk about Paris nonstop. Her excitement was infectious. If she hadn’t been leaving him behind, Jonathan might have been happy for her.
He glanced at his watch. “I have an appointment soon. Do you need a ride to the airport tomorrow?” he asked, leaving money with the check the waitress had left. “No. It’s an early flight. I’ve already made arrangements with a car service.”
“You thought of everything last night, didn’t you?”
“I tried.”
Everything, but how I’d