.
heart turned cold.
Natalie didn’t stop until she was too tired to continue, and when she looked down at her daughter, all she felt was hate. She needed someone to blame for Slim’s departure and his refusal to love her.
“Your stinking ass in here pissing on yourself. You’re too damn old for that, Leah! No wonder he didn’t want you with your ugly ass!”
Her words were like swords to the heart for young Leah, and as she looked at her broken flesh and welted body, she believed it. Her daddy didn’t want her because she wasn’t beautiful enough and her mother hated her. Her naïve heart crushed right then and there, as she heaved cries of abandonment on the cruddy bathroom floor.
“Shut up with all that damn crying, Leah!” Natalie screamed. As she looked down at her beaten daughter, Natalie’s callous resolve broke. She had groomed Leah from the time she was born, hoping that she could make the perfect child for Slim to love. Now all of her efforts seemed futile, and the little girl, who had been her ace in the hole, had suddenly become a child that she resented.
She had thought of Leah as a valuable pawn in a carefully calculated game of chess. She had never anticipated Slim’s rejection—not a second time, not after so many years. She had tried her hardest to become everything that he wanted in a woman, and had instilled countless hours of preparation into Leah. Leah knew how to walk, talk, and charm her way through any situation, but before Natalie even had a chance to put it all on display, Slim shut her down. He didn’t want them. Neither Natalie nor her daughter was good enough for Slim, and that realization turned her bitter to the core. He had chosen his HBIC.
From the first day that she met Slim, she knew that Dynasty was his number one, but she had been determined to snatch him away. She wanted nothing more than the loyalty from the very pimp who had introduced her to the streets. Her love knew no limits. She would do anything to attain Slim’s heart, and if that meant returning to his stable, then so be it. Nothing was out of bounds. He loved her when she made that money, and that’s exactly what she intended to do, even if it meant sacrificing the soul of young Leah.
Chapter Four
“Ooh, baby…yes. Give me that dick,” Natalie moaned, lying on her back while the white man atop of her had his way with her. It was her first trick in years, and Slim had sent her one of his most docile customers to make it easier for her. As she took dick like a professional, she imagined that it was Slim’s hardness drilling inside of her. Her hotbox was soaking wet as the man rode her into ecstasy. He was well endowed and had the stamina of a stallion, so she was enjoying the session just as much as he was.
It didn’t matter that her daughter was lying in the bed next to theirs. Natalie had to do what she had to do. The man on top of her hadn’t even looked her way. He stared intently at Leah, getting off on the fact that she was so close by. Natalie noticed the look of lust in her john’s eyes, and annoyance filled her as she reached up to turn his face away from her daughter.
“What you looking at, baby? I’m right here. I’m all the woman you need. This pussy good to you, baby?” she asked while meeting him thrust for thrust, grinding herself into him.
All he could do was groan as she snapped her muscles around his shaft, but it wasn’t long before his head turned toward Leah again. Irritated, she said, “Ain’t nothing over there for you.” What she didn’t know was that he had a fetish for young girls—little girls, in fact.
“There might be,” he whispered.
Natalie stopped abruptly and put her hands to his chest to lift him off of her a bit. Staring him straight in the eyes she asked, “What?”
“You heard me. I want her,” he stated.
“She’s only seven,” Natalie said.
“I’ll pay double,” he negotiated.
Terrified, Leah lay deathly still as she listened to her mother bargain with the man. The sounds that they made had stirred her from her restless sleep, but she had been too afraid to move. She didn’t want to receive another beating for doing the wrong thing, so she lay there motionless while she listened to her mother’s sexual escapade.
“She’s not ready for all that,” Natalie protested. “What type of mother do you think I am?”
“The type who fucks a nigga in the bed right next to your kid. I’ll pay triple. Just let me lick that. I’ll be careful with her. I won’t even stick it in. I just want to rub the tip on it,” the man said.
Leah’s breathing became labored as she waited to hear her mother’s reply.
“I’ma make her feel good,” the man continued as he reached onto the nightstand for his money clip. He flipped off eight crisp hundred-dollar bills and stuffed them between Natalie’s breasts. Too ashamed to hear herself agree to his conditions, but unable to resist the power of the dollar she simply nodded her head. The grin that spread across his face almost made her throw up, but she didn’t stop him as he climbed out of her bed.
Leah held her breath when she felt the weight of the man enter her bed, and her heart beat erratically, almost painfully through her chest. Every hair on her neck stood up as the man pulled back the sheet, exposing her to the cool wind of the night. His hands felt foreign on her body, and she trembled violently as he touched her. Every spot he invaded felt dirty.
“Mommy?” she called out. “Mommy!”
Natalie cringed at her daughter’s cries, but did nothing to intervene. She simply turned her back to the scene and stared out of the motel window as the man had his way with Leah. She tuned them out with thoughts of Slim. He would be pleased with her profits, and that fact alone was enough for her to allow her daughter to be victimized.
The feeling of his mouth between her legs surprised Leah. A weird sensation overcame her. Physically, it brought her pleasure, but psychologically, she knew it was wrong, and embarrassment filled her. She felt dirty, like something was wrong with her, as a river of tears cascaded down her pillow. “Mommy! Make him stop!” she shouted, but her pleas were in vain.
“Shhh. Be quiet, Leah. Don’t fight him. You’re doing this for Daddy. Make that money for Daddy, sweetie. Enjoy it. It won’t hurt for long,” Natalie said without looking her way.
The smell of her youth in his face made him rock hard, and he couldn’t contain himself. He grabbed his penis and began to rub it on her opening as she squirmed underneath him. No longer able to speak, Leah choked on her own tears. Sobbing, she prayed for God to save her.
“Hey, you bastard!” Natalie shouted.
Thinking that her prayers had been answered, Leah reached out for her mother.
“If you want to do all of that, it’s extra!” Natalie stated. “You said you wouldn’t go all the way!”
At that moment, instead of being her savior, her mother became the devil.
Excruciating pain ripped through her, and all she could do was scream as her virginity was snatched away from her, along with her sanity.
“Are you still mad at Mommy?” Natalie asked as she stood behind Leah and combed her long, thick hair.
Leah didn’t respond. She was despondent, almost detached from the world as she sat between her mother’s legs with tears running down her cheeks. She had washed herself a million times since being raped. She had scrubbed her skin so hard that she had begun to bleed, but still nothing made her feel clean. She felt stained, as if she would forever be branded with the stamp of disgust and shame.
“I know it hurt, baby, but I promise you it starts to feel good after a while. It was your first time. It won’t hurt like that the next time. We have to do this. We have to make this money for your daddy so that he will keep us around. Do this for him. Make him love you, Leah. You want a daddy, right?” Natalie asked.
She was manipulating Leah’s young mind, confusing her. Of course she wanted a daddy, but if this is