The Lost Sister. Megan Kelley Hall
know that I love you,” he said earnestly. Just then he rose from the seat, made his way over to her, and dropped down on one knee. “If I asked you to marry me, Madeline Crane, would you reconsider?”
Maddie raised an eyebrow, waiting for the punch line.
“Is that a no?”
Laughing, Maddie pulled all six feet two of him to his feet and he embraced her in a deep, bear hug. He was one of the few people that made her feel small and protected—at five foot ten, Maddie was used to being the giant in the room.
“You know that if you marry me, you’d have to get rid of all your other girlfriends.”
“Oh, damn, I didn’t think of that.”
Maddie pinched his arm hard.
“Ow,” Luke cried, cowering. “I take it back. I’m not into abusive relationships. I watch Oprah —I know how to deal with people like you.”
Again, Maddie took a swipe at him. He laughed, retreating just out of her reach.
It’s strange how life can get better simply by changing your surroundings, Maddie mused. A few months ago, she had been dealing with so much loss and unhappiness. But now all she had to worry about was what classes she should take or what party to attend. She had made a new life, one that she was in control of; not one that was predetermined years ago by families and people she’d never known, but whose blood ran through her veins. People who constantly let her down, like her mother and father. Or those who terrified her, like Kate, her aunt Rebecca, and, now, Cordelia—wherever she was. The other girls were guilty of hurting her that night out on Misery, but Maddie was even more so. She had betrayed her own sister, an act she wasn’t sure was forgivable—under any circumstances.
“Luke, you know that I need to help my mom right now. I’ve already made all the arrangements….” Maddie’s voice trailed off. She honestly didn’t know what Abigail needed anymore. What any of them needed these days. Closure? Support? Forgiveness? Or the ability to forget and move on? All of it seemed a pipe dream.
Maddie had successfully trained herself—her mind, her body—to become numb. After Cordelia disappeared and Rebecca was institutionalized, Maddie’s emotions sort of turned themselves off.
The truth was that Maddie was terrified of going back, afraid of what she’d find, afraid of facing the truth, afraid of the consequences. Maddie left that world far behind when she started at Stanton Prep. How could she possibly return to Mariner’s Way—even if it was only for a short school break—constantly being confronted by old ghosts and shadows of her former life?
Luke nodded his head, becoming uncharacteristically sympathetic. “I know, Maddie, really I do. Just don’t get any ideas about moving back there, transferring to Hawthorne and joining the water polo team or whatever the Christ they do out there,” he needled, his goofy, lopsided grin returning.
Luke was born and raised in New York, and the idea of a small New England town was so foreign to him. But then again, his life—growing up wealthy in New York City—was just as much a mystery to Maddie as her life was to him. Sure, she’d told him stories about growing up in a small-minded, puritanical society. And he knew about Cordelia—the way she was treated and the night she disappeared. He knew bits and pieces of what had happened out on Misery Island. But she could never let him know her own involvement in the horrific events of that night—that she was too afraid to stand up for her own flesh and blood. That she was just as guilty, if not more, for the treatment Cordelia was forced to withstand. She couldn’t imagine what he’d think of her if he knew the truth. “I was actually thinking I might do a little more digging to see what I come up with on Cordelia,” Maddie offered lightly, curious to see his reaction.
“Maddie, come on!” he said, exasperated. “Seriously, you don’t need to bring up that shit again. Whatever happened to your cousin was not your fault. She obviously was happy to leave that town and your family behind. And you should think about doing the same, okay?”
“Luke, come on,” Maddie persisted, remembering how angry Luke used to get at her on the nights they’d stay up late talking and she would tell him about the hazing rituals that took place out on Misery Island.
“ It wasn’t your fault ,” Luke would say over and over.
But he wasn’t there; he didn’t know the whole story. And if he did know, would he still look at her the same way? Or would he look at her with the same amount of disgust that she felt she deserved?
Cordelia continued to haunt her dreams as a shadowy figure, her face shrouded in the thick fog that often rolled onto the island of Misery. In her dreams, Maddie would try to get a clear look at her face, hungry for a clue—any hint as to what had happened to Cordelia after that night.
But nothing ever came.
And in the mornings, Maddie’s dreams of Cordelia and that horrible time in their lives would shuffle backward into the subconscious realm of her cluttered mind, taking a backseat to her daily problems. But still her guilt remained constant, lurking in the corner like a cat ready to pounce on its prey. How could she do that to her own flesh and blood? Her own sister?
Cordelia would never forgive her.
Would she even forgive herself?
Luke’s cell phone suddenly started beeping. He looked down at the flashing lights, his blue eyes squinting at the number that came up on the screen. He shrugged his shoulders, indicating that it wasn’t familiar, and put his finger out, signaling that he would only be a minute.
“Luke Bradford…Hey, doll, I was just thinking about you.”
Luke used names like doll, baby, freckles, honey, sweetness, brown eyes, when he couldn’t remember the girl’s name. For some guys, it could come off sounding cheesy, like they were using a line. But Luke had the sincerity to really pull it off. Even Maddie let herself get sucked in once in a while. Anyway, it must have been a recent conquest because he didn’t immediately blow the girl off.
Maddie felt her heart make what could only be described as a sigh. Despite their better intentions of staying friends and not letting a relationship mess up what they had, Maddie realized that she’d been completely kidding herself.
She’d been desperately in love with Luke since they first met—even before his transformation from a too-skinny, long-legged boy to the Abercrombie & Fitch model look-alike he’d become, and each time a new girl came along, it only made her feel worse. Worse than worse, it made her feel invisible, unloved, and unimportant. Sure, she’d noticed the looks from other guys, the sideways glances, the winks. But the closest thing to a compliment that Maddie had ever gotten from Luke was when he jokingly compared her to a racehorse—long legs, big brown eyes, and a chestnut mane. Not exactly what a girl wanted to hear from the guy she adored.
It was then that Maddie realized that she needed this separation from Luke just as much as she needed to find Cordelia. Maybe putting these nagging questions to rest would allow her to take her mind off Luke and their “just friends” relationship; mend her heart…just a little bit. The trip on his father’s cruise ship sounded like a dream come true, but watching the parade of tanned and beautiful model-wannabes go in and out of his cabin would drive Maddie insane.
She didn’t know which was worse: loving someone who was too old for her and unattainable, or caring for someone who could easily break her heart. Loving Reed Campbell, her former teacher, was safer, because she knew if nothing ever came of it, she could just chalk it up to their age difference. But with Luke, there was nothing keeping them apart—nothing except for his wandering eye.
Maddie listened to him go on and on in his smoky “I’m going to get lucky tonight” voice, and continued packing her suitcase—trying not to let her annoyance with him show as it ate away at her.
Lifting his legs up off her bed to pull her jewelry pouch out, Maddie noticed something drop to the floor. She bent down onto the floor, something that would have prompted a lewd comment from Luke had he not been otherwise engaged,