Rhythms of Growth. Linda Douty
of resonance (consolation) personally—a feeling of aliveness, a lifting of the spirit, an expansion of the heart, being pulled upward toward the Light, an unusual peace, the felt presence of God, a sense of Yes. On the other hand, we experience dissonance (desolation) as darkness, constriction, resistance, narrowness of spirit, absence of energy, heaviness, a sense of No.
To use these feelings as one barometer of divine guidance, we must learn to identify them and also notice the ways our bodies and behavior register them. I learned that I was ignoring the signals one day during a memorable conversation with one of my sons.
During a time when I intentionally sought “God’s will for my life,” I was talking with my son about my day at Perkins Theological Seminary attending a conference. I launched into a lively account of what the professors said, even mentioning the wonderful “smell of old books” in the building. I gave a very long answer to his short question, “What did you do today?”
My son’s follow-up comment sparked a shift in perception that has stayed with me through the years. He said, “Mom, just listen to yourself! You’re wondering where God is leading you, and you assume it has to involve pain and sacrifice! Don’t you think God can speak through your joy, your love of learning, and the pleasing odor of books? For goodness sake, pay attention!”
God’s ways of speaking are much greater than our powers of listening!
Reflect: How does your body register feelings of resonance? dissonance? Begin to notice and name these feelings as you develop a greater capacity for hearing divine guidance.
FEBRUARY 19 • Skills and Passions
Mary, a retired accountant, wanted to invest some of her newly discovered extra time to be of service to her church. Because of her expertise with numbers, the pastor asked her to chair the finance committee. Mary described her feelings of dissonance: “My heart sank. I knew I had the skills to do it. I felt I should do it, but I just didn’t want to! I’ve always yearned to work with young children. I had to put my own kids in daycare when they were young because of my career, and I missed that playful experience of being with toddlers.”
In truth, the accountant side of Mary’s life had received plenty of room to grow, but her circumstances had buried her passion for children. It’s a useful illustration of the difference between skills (what we’re capable of doing) and passions (what we long to do). At that point in Mary’s life, one option carried feelings of dissonance and the other of resonance. Knowing the difference between those feelings helped her distinguish the difference between her skills and her passions. Most people in her position would do as they were asked. Instead, she told her pastor she wanted to volunteer in the nursery rather than chair the finance committee.
Often we can combine our skills and passions. But sometimes we mistake one for the other, assuming that we must pursue our vocational skills for a lifetime simply because they exist. Buried creative desires to paint, knit, do woodworking, teach, cook, plant a garden—you name it—go ignored as we focus on what we think we ought to do. The God whose very nature is abundance and wholeness invites us to discover all that we are.
Reflect: Make an honest list of your skills and a separate one of your passions. What steps, even small ones, can you take to honor your curiosity and yearning?
FEBRUARY 20 • Decision Drivers
We are shaped by the questions that sit, day after day, deep within us—often beneath our awareness. For instance, if we seek a life of more pleasure or greater comfort or more approval or dependable safety or financial security—even peace of mind—those inner desires will drive the decisions we make. Their silent influence will infuse the discernment process with their preferences.
Consider the revealing story of an elderly monk whom others admired for his keen spiritual wisdom. A young novice in the monastery, eager to discover the old man’s secret, hid outside his hermitage to spy on him. He heard a thump as the monk’s knees met the floor at prayer time. Then he heard these words: “Who are you, God, and who am I?” Moments later, there came the same question: “Who are you God, and who am I?” All day long, those were the only words the young novice heard.
If the prevailing question in our lives centers around our desire to know God and to know who we are in relation to God, that central yearning will color our decisions. Surely this intent of the heart reflects the words of Matthew 6:33: “Strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” This kind of seeking is not a one-time intention; it’s a way of life.
Reflect: Think honestly about the factors that drive your decisions. In what ways does your desire for divine truth affect the way you approach discernment?
FEBRUARY 21 • Your Vocation
The word vocation shares the same root with the word “voice.” This shared connection implies a difference between our job and our vocation. How does our connection to the Spirit allow the divine voice to speak in and through us? On our path to deeper discernment, we’re invited to look at how God calls us to participate in the healing of the world.
Our job provides a way to pay the rent. Our unique voice, or vocation, focuses on how we live out our particular gifts and graces. An ongoing life of listening helps us to express the divine dream in any circumstances. A woman in my community spent her entire life teaching. She inspired students for decades, garnered countless awards, and was honored by her peers. She felt fortunate to have significant overlaps between her job and her vocation.
However, now well into her nineties, long retired from teaching, she continues to live out her vocation—that of inspiring others and spreading joy in the extended-care facility where she lives. I’ll never forget her response to my question about her life at this final stage. With a gleam in her eye, she described her first waking moments each morning: “When I see the light of dawn, I wonder what gift I can give today to someone who needs it—even if it’s as simple as a smile.”
We often think we must live out our purpose in neon lights or through some grand accomplishment. However, it’s less about what we do and more about who we are.
Reflect: Ponder the ways God invites you to be who you were created to be, to use those gifts to express love and healing in the world. What one specific action can you take today to live out your vocation?
FEBRUARY 22 • Taking the Next Step
Imagine that you’re standing at the edge of a dark forest. You want desperately to reach freedom on the other side (an answer to discernment), but you don’t know exactly how to navigate the tangle of trees. All you have in your jeans pocket is a tiny flashlight. The woods look daunting, scary, perhaps even impossible, but you’re committed to the journey. Then imagine a Voice giving you encouragement and instructions:
• Take out your flashlight and shine it on the path before you.
• Step into the small circle of light that you can see.
• Shine the flashlight forward again; step into the circle of light.
• If you stumble and fall, simply smile and breathe a forgiving “oops!” (No guilt or remorse allowed; it’s a waste of time).
• Dust yourself off and get back on the path.
• Repeat the process again and again and again.
• You will reach the other side of the forest, one point of light at a time.
In other words, act on the light you have now. It doesn’t have to be the final word, the clearest word, or the most profound word. You don’t have to wait until the situation improves or until you feel like it. The road to release doesn’t require a meticulous map. In fact, knowledge of the path is no substitute for placing one foot in front of the other. You simply proceed with the light you’ve been given. Take a risk and act.
Oddly enough, people usually think that taking action involves fixing a problem or finding a solution. In the process of discernment, that approach may be counterproductive. The procedure seems to be best served by opening yourself to divine direction then