Rhythms of Growth. Linda Douty
the more important we seem to ourselves and—we think—to others. Unfortunately, this busyness has become the model of a successful life.
When we cram our days full with people, projects, and schedules, we affirm the familiar bumper sticker that mirrors our reality: LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHILE YOU’RE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS. Our intuition toward simplicity is not enough. We must act on this awareness rather than pick up yet another catalog and place an order for unnecessary diversion. Simplifying our life doesn’t usually mean selling the house and giving away everything we own. It’s often enough to begin to clean off the messy desk or pare down the crowded calendar. Old habits will push back, tempting us to return to normal. We smile and say, “I know you!” and then gently let them go.
Reflect: Consider honestly your relationship to busyness. Does it remain a constant in your life or a sometimes occurrence? Each time you feel overly busy, take a deep breath—breathing in peace and breathing out the harried feeling. One step at a time, one task at a time.
JANUARY 15 • Paring Things Down
H ave you ever noted the correlation between exterior clutter and interior clutter? Studies that try to measure such connections point to one certainty: Disarray in the outer world contributes to confusion in the inner world. No wonder wise teachers through the centuries have lifted simplicity as a virtue and asserted that less is more. The spiritual life is fundamentally one of subtraction, not addition. Simplicity is a simple idea, . . . or is it?
If we start with visible possessions, we know that simple doesn’t always mean easy. In married life, if one person is a pack rat while the other is a neatnik, just cleaning out the garage can create trouble. One such couple reached a truce when they agreed on a useful litmus list to guide their cleanup:
• Do I love it? (item of beauty and meaning)
• Do I need it? (How long since I last used it?)
• Does it support who I am now in my life? (Do I still need these ski boots when I’ve given up skiing?)
• Does it need repair, and am I willing to do so now?
Using these questions as a guide, the couple sorted the bounty into containers marked Throw Away, Give Away, Sell, Lend, and Keep, setting a firm date and destination for each collection of goods.
This process involves both reflection and physical activity. It reminds us of what we value and why, with the added benefit of a more serene atmosphere of order and spaciousness.
Reflect: Start with a crowded closet or a cluttered kitchen drawer. Or simply unravel the jumble of computer cords. As you sort and toss and unwind, be aware of the interior release you feel. Give thanks that you are taking a step toward simplicity.
JANUARY 16 • Programming Your Frustration
Last January I prayerfully asked, “How is God inviting me to grow this year?” I got a very surprising answer. Over the next few days, a strange phrase kept nudging my consciousness. It returned again and again: You’re programming your own frustration. When I finally decided to deal with what seemed to be a “message,” I noticed a sea of anxiety and hurriedness underlying my days. The outward manifestations may be familiar to you: constant glancing at the clock; driving too fast, trying to make it before the light turns yellow; concern about being late, rushing to finish my to-do list; a slight tightening of the muscles that felt normal. I felt like I was living behind an imaginary eight ball most of the time.
Since the pesky phrase wouldn’t leave, I figured the Spirit was inviting me to deal with it—not simply to list all my reasons for feeling that way or all the people and projects that were supposedly responsible for my malaise. I needed to examine my complicity in my condition.
I knew from experience that to wallow in self-judgment (or judgment of others) would only land me in a pit of guilt and resentment. Yet I didn’t know where to start. I needed a “tool,” a spiritual practice that would facilitate the needed change. Thus evolved the Preparation Prayer.
At first waking, I silently repeated Psalm118:24, “This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Then, with a cup of coffee in a quiet place, I followed this pattern:
1. List all activities/appointments/tasks to be accomplished today. Include everything—even minor tasks: trip to grocery store, dental appointment, picking up the kids, as well as work hours, and so on.
2. Survey list to see if to-do items extend beyond the time allowed. Does the list demand more energy than I have? Will I be running late by afternoon?
3. If there are too many entries, target activities to delegate, move to another day or month, or discard altogether. Eliminate them from the list.
4. When the list is a manageable size, rewrite the entries in chronological order so that you can see the flow of the day ahead.
5. Pray through the list. Imagine the light of God surrounding each activity, as if the Spirit goes before you and beside you, empowering you with energy, focus, and purpose. Inhale each task mindfully and slowly; exhale the sense of urgency.
Affirm that This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Reflect: While suspending all judgment, put your day under a microscope of grace and wisdom. Then notice ways you may be “programming your own frustration.”
JANUARY 17 • Decluttering the Calendar
Listening to winter leads us to take responsibility for our own choices. We learn to get real about our physical and emotional limitations. We discover that it’s better to do a few things with joy and competence than a bevy of things with fatigue and resentment. We learn that No is a complete sentence that doesn’t require a string of becauses and excuses. Our false guilt and martyr complexes fade away into authentic living.
Here’s a simple beginner’s tool. Write down every single item or activity for which you are responsible and the various activities that occupy your time. Then form several lists:
• List items or activities that only you can do; if you don’t do them, they won’t get done. (Being a loving spouse or responsible parent, caring for an ailing family member, remaining employed . . .)
• List items or activities that someone else can do. (President of PTA, committee chair, board member . . .)
• List items or activities you would like to do but can postpone. (Taking a weaving course, learning to play bridge, going on a golf outing, helping with the literacy project, teaching a Sunday school class . . .)
• List items and activities that feed your soul. (Painting, sports, book club, cooking, gardening . . .)
Only you can move commitments around on your list and decide where they belong. The list is never permanent or static because life isn’t!
Despite the numerous worthwhile tasks, a significant difference exists between seeing what needs to be done and being called to do it. As you make these choices, remember this: If what you’re doing has an underlying sense of joy and fulfillment, it’s probably yours to do. On the other hand, if joy is missing and you feel like the victim of constant drudgery, then you’ve probably picked up someone else’s task.
As the old adage reminds us, “People begin to cut wisdom teeth the first time they bite off more than they can chew.” We need to act on that wisdom!
Reflect: Sit quietly with pen and paper in hand and slowly craft your own list. Allow time for a thoughtful, honest, and reflective process. Pray for the courage to act on what you discover.
JANUARY 18 • Produce and Possess
Oh, he’s very successful,” I heard myself saying as I described an up-and-coming young executive. A red warning light started blinking in my mind. Once again, I had unconsciously reflected our culture’s idea of success.
Even though we intellectually embrace the call to simplicity and acknowledge our soul’s yearnings for it, we run smack into the cultural message to produce and possess. Regardless of what we say, when we look at how