Chinese Proverbs and Popular Sayings. Larry Herzberg
Nǐ shuōbùdé wǒ tóu tū, wǒ xiàobùdé nǐ yǎn xiā.
你说不得我头秃，我笑不得你眼瞎。
Those who retreated 50 paces [running away in battle] laugh at those who retreated 100 paces.
(That’s the pot calling the kettle black.)
Wǔshí bù xiào yìbǎi bù.
五十步笑一百步。
A horse doesn’t know its face is long; an ox doesn’t know its horns are crooked.
(People rarely realize their own shortcomings.)
Mǎ bùzhī zìjǐ liǎn cháng, niú bùzhī zìjǐ jiǎo wān.
马不知自己脸长，牛不知自己角弯。
4 Talking
In a densely populated and group-oriented society like China, it has always been important to watch what one says so as not to risk offending one’s neighbors. More significantly, China has always been an autocratic society under the control of a ruler with absolute power. The country was first ruled by kings, including in the time of Confucius, then by emperors from 221 BCE until 1911 CE. Then followed the dictatorial rule of Chiang Kai-shek from the 1920s until after World War II, and for the past six decades China has been under the rule of the Chinese Communist Party. This has meant that it has always been extremely dangerous to speak one’s mind too freely, especially in challenging those in power.
Many centuries before dissidents were jailed under communist rule, legions of scholar-officials in ancient China were exiled or executed for speaking out in protest against injustice. One of the most beloved figures in Chinese history is the great poet and statesman of the eleventh century, Su Dongpo. Although he rose to high political office, becoming governor of a province and later an adviser to the emperor, he was exiled several times for criticizing government policy. He spent many of his later years in exile on the remote island of Hainan for bravely speaking out against reforms that he thought were harmful to the Chinese people.
It is, therefore, not surprising that many Chinese proverbs and sayings warn against expressing one’s thoughts too freely. Below is but a sampling of cautionary advice when it comes to talk and speech.
CAUTIONS ABOUT SPEAKING
Sickness enters through the mouth; misfortune comes out of it.
(Loose lips sink ships.)
Bìng cóng kǒu rù, huò cóng kǒu chū.
病从口入，祸从口出。
The mouth and tongue have always been the roots of calamity.
Kǒu shé cónglái shì huò jī.
口舌从来是祸基。
The tongue is the source of both benefits and harm; the mouth is a door that opens to either disaster or blessings.
Shé wéi lì hài běn, kǒu shì huò fú mén.
舌为利害本，口是祸福门。
The mouth is the door to disaster; the tongue is the knife that can kill you.
Kǒu shì huò zhī mén, shé wéi zhǎn shēn dāo.
口是祸之门，舌为斩身刀。
You only get criticized if you open your mouth too much; troubles all come from trying to show off.
Shìfēi zhǐ wèi duō kāikǒu, fánnǎo jiē yīn qiáng chūtóu.
是非只为多开口，烦恼皆因强出头。
Don’t cross the river before rolling up your trouser legs; don’t open your mouth before knowing the true state of things.
Bù juǎn kùjiǎo, bù guòhé; bùmō dǐxì, bù kāi qiāng.
不卷裤脚不过河；不摸底细不开腔。
About matters that don’t concern you, don’t open your mouth; when questioned, shake your head and say you know nothing about it.
(Don’t comment on the affairs of others when they don’t concern you.)
Bú gàn jǐ shì, bù zhāngkǒu; yíwèn yáotóu sānbùzhī.
不干己事，不张口；一问摇头三不知。
Close your mouth and hide your tongue, and you can settle down safely anywhere.
(Cautious speech will keep you safe from harm.)
Bì kǒu shēn cáng shé, ānshēn chùchù láo.
闭口深藏舌，安身处处牢。
A closed mouth keeps flies from flying in.
(If you keep your mouth shut, you can’t get into trouble.)
Bìzhe de zuǐ fēibújìn cāngyīng.
闭着的嘴飞不进苍蝇。
Foolish people wag their tongues; wise people use their brains.
Chǔnrén jiáoshé; zhìzhě dòngnǎo.
蠢人嚼舌；智者动脑。
Don’t eat excessive amounts of food; don’t indulge in excessive talk.
Guòtóu de fàn bié chī, guòtóu de huà bié jiǎng.
过头的饭别吃，过头的话别讲。
When meeting people, say only 30% [of what you’re thinking]; don’t toss out everything that’s in your mind.
Féng rén zhǐ shuō sān fēn huà, wèi kě quán pāo yípiàn xīn.
逢人只说三分话，未可全抛一片心。
GOSSIP AND SLANDER
You can hold other people’s hands [down], but you can’t get them to hold their tongues.
[lit.: What you can hold down is people’s hands; what you can’t suppress is other people’s mouths.]
(You can’t stop others from talking; secrets will eventually come out.)
Nádezhù de shì shǒu, yǎnbuzhù de shì kǒu.
拿得住的是手，掩不住的是口。
A tongue may weigh little, but it can crush a man.
(Gossip is a fearful thing that can do great harm.)
Shétóu dǐxià yāsǐ rén.
舌头底下压死人。
Who is never gossiped about behind his back, and who never gossips about people to others?
(No one is exempt from gossip, since everyone loves to talk about other people.)
Shéi rén bèi hòu wú rén shuō, nǎ ge rén qián bù shuō rén?
谁人背后无人说，哪个人前不说人?
Kind words need not be spoken behind people’s backs; words spoken behind people’s backs are rarely kind.
Hǎo huà bù bèi rén, bèi rén méi hǎo huà.
好话不背人，背人没好话。
It is preferable to believe there’s some truth