Idiots are invincible. Dr Ro
various conversational subjects. Self-improvement will be further discussed in Chapter 15.
Reduce the demands made by others – and yourself
People spend unimaginable amounts of time trying to become what others are telling them to become:
– Make something of your life.
– Do not become better than me.
– Study and become a doctor.
– Become a civil servant.
– Get married.33
– Don’t you dare get married! Stay here and take care of me.
Does any of this sound familiar?
The secret of failure … is to try to please everyone!
Do not do it. You need balance here as well. At the same time, reduce self-imposed demands:
– Help others.
– Be good at everything you do. Be perfect.
– Do not waste your time.
– Don’t get angry.
– Don’t get stressed. Argh!
There is no need to be impeccable at everything you do. It is not possible to be perfect at everything. Being an excellent manager, a great husband, a model parent, a valuable friend, an eloquent speaker, a well-trained athlete, and a tireless lover is just unworkable … You are wearing too many hats! Accept yourself, even if you do not completely fit the high standards that you have set yourself.
Satisfy your needs
Some of our most important needs are physical, social, and psychological and emotional (love, physical and emotional cuddles).
Often our mood is “sub-zero,” without us knowing why. Other times, we have a feeling that our needs or desires are not being satisfied. The problem, though, is that we do not devote any time in consciously planning and attending to them.
To identify your paths of joy, try the following exercise.
Exercise: My top desires
List five of your desires (and think of five ways to satisfy them):
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