The World of David Walliams: 7 Book Collection. David Walliams
it’s you,” said Miss Windsor frostily. “What do you want?”
“I just wanted to say I’m really sorry. I am. I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have said that you didn’t have a good French accent.”
Miss Windsor remained silent and Dennis squirmed, trying to think of something else to say.
“Because you do. You actually have a really good French accent, Miss. Mademoiselle. It sounds like you are actually a proper French person.”
“Well thank you, Dennis, or ‘merci beaucoup, Dennis’ as I would say in français,” said Miss Windsor, warming a little. “Well done on Saturday. Wonderful match. You actually looked very convincing in a dress, you know.”
“Thank you, Miss.”
“Actually, I’m glad you’re here,” said Miss Windsor. “You see, I’ve written a play…”
“Oh yes…” said Dennis with trepidation.
“It’s a play about the life of Joan of Arc, the fifteenth century French religious martyr…”
“Wow, that sounds… erm.”
“None of the girls want to play her. Anyway I thought it would be fascinating to have a boy play her, as she of course was a girl who wore boy’s clothing. Dennis, I think you would make a very memorable Joan.”
Dennis looked to his brother for help, but John just smirked.
“Well it certainly sounds… interesting…”
“Wonderful. Let’s meet up at break-time and discuss it over a pain au chocolat.”
“OK, Miss,” said Dennis, trying to hide his dread. He walked away slowly and quietly, as you might retreat from a bomb that may be about to go off.
“Oh, I should have said–the play is entirely in French. Au revoir!” she called after him.
“Au revoir,” he called back in the most un-French accent he could manage.
“Now that I can’t wait to see!” said John laughing.
As they walked off together towards the main school building, John put his arm around him. Dennis smiled.
The world felt different.
Thank yous:
I would like to thank my literary agent at Independent Talent, Paul Stevens; Moira Bellas and everyone at MBC PR; all at HarperCollins, especially my publisher Ann-Janine Murtagh and my editor Nick Lake for their belief in the project and tremendous support of me; James Annal, the cover designer; Elorine Grant, interior designer; Michelle Misra, eagle-eyed copy-editor; the other side of my brain that is Matt Lucas; my greatest fan and mum, Kathleen; and my sister Julie for dressing me up in the first place.
Most of all though, I would like to thank the great Quentin Blake, who has brought more to this book than I could have ever dared to dream.
For my mum Kathleen, the kindest person I have ever met.
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