Son of the Shadows. Juliet Marillier
spreading through the cool, dry air of the stillroom.
Mother sniffed delicately. ‘There’s all-heal – the dried flowers, that must be; there’s figwort in it, maybe a touch of St John’s wort as well, and – goldenwood?’
I found a jar of our best honey, and spooned a little into each cup. ‘You certainly haven’t lost your touch,’ I said. ‘You needn’t worry. I know how to gather that herb, and how to use it.’
‘A powerful combination, daughter.’
I glanced at her, and she looked straight back.
‘You know, don’t you?’ she said softly.
I nodded, unable to speak. I placed a cup of the healing tea on the stone sill beside her, and my own near me where I worked.
‘Your choice of herbs is very apt. But it is too late for such cures to do more than provide a brief respite. You know this too.’ She took a sip of the tea, screwed up her face, and gave a little smile. ‘It’s a bitter brew.’
‘Bitter indeed,’ I said, sipping my own tea, which was plain peppermint. I managed to keep my voice under control, just.
‘I can see we have taught you well, Liadan,’ said my mother, regarding me closely. ‘You have my skill with healing and your father’s gift for love. He gathers all around him under his protective shade, like a great forest tree. I see the same strength in you, daughter.’
This time, I did not risk speaking.
‘It will be hard for him,’ she went on. ‘Very hard. He is not one of us, not truly, though we forget it sometimes. He does not understand that this is not a true parting, but simply a moving on, a changing.’
‘The wheel turns, and returns,’ I said.
Mother smiled again. She had put the tea down almost untouched. ‘There’s a bit of Conor in you as well,’ she said. ‘Sit down awhile, Liadan. I have something to tell you.’
‘You too?’ I managed a watery grin.
‘Yes, your father told me about Eamonn.’
‘And what did you think?’
A little frown creased her brow. ‘I don’t know,’ she said slowly. ‘I can’t advise you. But – but I would say, don’t be in too much of a hurry. You’ll be needed here for a while.’
I didn’t ask her why. ‘Have you told Father?’ I asked finally.
Mother gave a sigh. ‘No. He will not ask me, since he knows I will answer with the truth. I don’t need to put it into words. Not for Red. His knowledge is there in the touch of his hand, in his hastening home from ploughing, in the way he sits by the bed, thinking me asleep, and holds my hand, looking into the darkness. He knows.’
I shivered. ‘What was it you were going to tell me?’
‘Something I have never shared with anyone. But I think now is the time to pass it on. You’ve been troubled lately, I’ve seen it in your eyes. Not just – not just this, but something more.’
I held my cup between my palms, warming them. ‘I get – sometimes I get the strangest feeling. As if suddenly everything goes cold, and – and there’s a voice …’
‘Go on.’
‘I see – I feel as if something terrible is coming. I look at someone and sense a – a sort of doom over them. Conor knows. He told me not to feel guilty. I didn’t find that particularly helpful.’
Mother nodded. ‘My brother was about your age when he first felt it. Finbar, I mean. Conor remembers that. It is a painful skill, one few would wish for themselves.’
‘What is it?’ I asked, shivering. ‘Is it the Sight? Then why don’t I go into convulsions, and scream and then go limp, like Biddy O’Neill down at the Crossing? She’s got the Sight, she foretold the great floods two winters ago, and the death of that man whose cart went over the edge at Fergal’s Bluff. This is – different.’
‘Different but the same. The way it takes you depends on your own strength and your own gifts. And what you see can also mislead you. Finbar often saw true, and he felt the guilt of not being able to prevent the things from happening. But what his visions meant was by no means easy to interpret. It’s a cruel gift, Liadan. With it comes another, which you have not yet had cause to develop.’
‘What’s that?’ I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Wasn’t one such gift, if gift it could be called, more than enough?
‘I can’t explain it, not fully. He used it on me, once. He and I – he and I shared the same bond you have with Sean, a closeness that lets you speak mind to mind; that tunes you to the other’s inmost self. Finbar had greater skill than I; those last days, he became adept at keeping me out. There were times when I think he dreaded to let down his guard; he had a wound deep to the spirit, and he would not share it, not even with me. But he had the other skill as well; the ability to use the power of his mind for healing. When I was – when I was hurt, and thought the world would never be right again, he – he touched me with his mind, he blocked out the bad things, he held my thoughts with his own, until the night was over. Later, he used this same skill on my father, whose mind was deeply damaged by the work of the sorceress, the lady Oonagh. She kept Father dancing to her will for three long years, while my brothers were under the enchantment. And Lord Colum was not a weak man; he wrestled with his own guilt and shame, and yet he could not deny her. When we returned home at last he scarcely knew us. Bringing him back to himself took many patient days and nights. There is a heavy price for the use of this healing power. Afterwards, Finbar was – drained. Scarce himself. He was like a man who has undergone the fiercest ordeals of body and spirit. Only the strongest may withstand this.’
I looked at her with a question in my eyes.
‘You are strong, Liadan. I cannot tell you if and when you may be called to use this gift. Perhaps never. It’s best you know, at least. He would be able to tell you more.’
‘He? You mean – Finbar?’ Now we were on fragile ground indeed.
Mother turned to look out of the window. ‘It grew again so beautifully,’ she said. ‘The little oak Red planted for me, that will one day be tall and noble. The lilac; the healing herbs. The sorceress could not destroy us. Together, we were too strong for her.’ She looked back at me. ‘The magic is powerful in you, Liadan. And there is one more thing in your favour.’
‘What’s that?’ I asked. Her words were both fascinating and terrifying.
‘He showed me once. Finbar. I came close to asking him what the future would hold for me. He showed me a moment of time. There was Niamh, dancing along a forest path with her hair like golden fire. A child with a gift for happiness. And Sean, running, running to catch up with her. I saw my children, and Red’s. And – and there was another child. A child who was – shut out. On the edge, so that I could never quite see. But that child was not you, daughter. Of that I am certain. Had it been you, I would have known, the moment you were born and laid in my arms.’
‘But – but why wasn’t I there? Sean and I are of an age. Why would I not be in your vision too?’
‘I saw the same vision earlier,’ said my mother slowly. ‘When I – but both times, you were not there. Only that other child, closed off from the picture. I believe you are somehow outside the pattern, Liadan. If this is so, it could give you great power. Dangerous power. It could allow you to – change things. In these visions, it was not foretold that Sean’s birth would bring forth a second child. That sets you apart. I have believed, for a long time, that the Fair Folk guide our steps. That they work their great plans through us. But you are not in their scheme. Perhaps you hold some sort of key.’
It was too much to take in. Still, I could not but believe her, for my mother always told the truth, no more and no less.
‘Then what about the third child in the vision?’ I asked.