Bone Box. Faye Kellerman
“I knew she was still in contact with a few of her old professors via e-mail. She contacted them once she started working in finance.”
“So she might have been visiting them?”
“Possibly.” Karen blinked a couple of times. “After she disappeared, I combed through her e-mails to see if I could figure out where she went and who she was seeing. I know Joanne hired a private detective. I’m sure the PI talked to dozens of people. I know I did. You don’t know how panicked I was. I was alone, I was pregnant, and I was very, very confused.”
She looked at the tabletop as she spoke.
“When she didn’t come back Sunday night and I couldn’t contact her by phone, I started calling people that we knew in common. No one even knew she was going up to the colleges.”
Tears started falling down her face.
“At the time, I thought she might have lied to me. That she was having second thoughts about the baby. That she was having second thoughts about me. That she found someone else. I was half mad at her as well as half panicked. When I called her work on Monday and she hadn’t shown up, I was beside myself.”
“What did you do when you couldn’t locate her?”
“I frankly don’t remember too much because I was in such a state. I did call the Greenbury Police. They wouldn’t take a report right away. Since no one remembered seeing Lorraine, they claimed it was doubtful that she made it up north. They were claiming that she probably disappeared in the city. After a while, I began to believe that she really did cut bait and run.”
“Did you contact Pettigrew’s parents?”
Karen sighed. “No. Lorraine didn’t want her parents to know about the pregnancy. She wanted to wait until after the baby was born.”
“Whose idea was the pregnancy?” McAdams asked.
“It was hers. That’s why I couldn’t figure out why she disappeared. She wanted a baby way more than I did. But I loved Lorraine, and she wanted to be a mom of her own biological child. So we decided to do it before we finished off our sex reassignment surgeries. I’d already had top surgery, so I knew I couldn’t nurse, but that was fine with Lorraine. She wanted to be the primary caretaker.”
There was a long pause.
“I never transitioned completely. After I had the baby, it didn’t seem important. Gender is fluid, and I am who I am. I don’t need gonads to tie me down.”
Decker nodded. “Karen, you said you called people when Lorraine didn’t come home.”
“Yes.”
“Do you still have any record of who you called?”
“Of course. I made a list. I have a whole file on her.”
McAdams asked, “Who’s in the file?”
“People I called. As much as I could, I tried to get hold of her phone records or her e-mail because without a body, she still could be alive. I just couldn’t believe that Lorraine would take off on me. I kept thinking there had to be a reason. I didn’t want to think bad of her.”
“We’ll subpoena the records. In the meantime, could I take a look at the file?”
“Sure. It’s at home.” Karen put her head down. “You might also want to talk to Joanne Pettigrew … like that never crossed your mind. I suppose you already talked to her.”
“Yesterday,” McAdams said. “Before we got tentative confirmation of the remains. We’re going to her house after we’ve finished talking to you.”
“Joanne still doesn’t know about Aesop.”
“We know. Jordeen mentioned that you never told her about her grandson.”
Karen sighed.
“At first, I didn’t tell Joanne because I felt I was sort of honoring Lorraine’s last wishes. And I was dealing with so much. I really didn’t want to have a pity party with Joanne. I know that sounds callous, but there was only so much grief I could take.” A long silence. “You can tell her.”
“It might be better coming from you,” Decker said.
“I was afraid you’d say that.” A sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll man up and call her.”
“Wait a few minutes until we call and tell her that the remains have been identified.”
“When are you going to do that?”
“Right now.” Decker stood up. “I’ll be back in a moment. You can talk to Detective McAdams.”
“About what?” Karen asked. But Decker had left the café. “Strange one, your boss.”
McAdams thought: Pot … kettle. “How did you and Lorraine fall in love?”
“When I came back from top surgery, Lawrence—he was still a he back then—he told me he admired my commitment to who I was. We started talking about sex reassignment, what it would mean to us, to our families and friends. We had long, long talks about it. When we met again in New York City, he told me that I had inspired him to take the plunge and undergo sex reassignment surgery. We talked some more and we fell in love. We made love. You know, just because you identify as the other gender doesn’t mean that your biological gonads don’t function. He was dressed as a woman and I was the man with my top surgery, but we were still technically boy and girl. What a world, huh?”
McAdams nodded, but remained silent.
“We were both going to get surgery that summer. But then Lorraine got it in her head to have a baby. What could I do?”
Decker came back. “I told Joanne that we’d be there in an hour.” Silence. To Karen: “This might be as good a time as any to make contact with her.”
Karen looked at her watch. “I’ve got class in ten minutes.” When Decker didn’t answer, she said, “I suppose I should get it over with. I named my son Aesop because those were Lorraine’s favorite stories. Believe it or not, she loved morality pieces. They provided absolutes in our ambiguous world. Are we done here?”
“Yes,” Decker said. “When can I get your Pettigrew file?”
“Come to my place around eight. By then the kids are asleep and if we need to talk at greater length, I can concentrate on you instead of the children.” She looked at her watch again and stood up. “I gotta get this call over with. I’ll see you tonight.”
After she left, Decker said, “What did you two talk about?”
“How they fell in love and wanted to marry: she as a boy and he as a girl. I know that none of this is relevant, but even she admitted it was a strange world.”
“It is a strange world. But as a detective I don’t care about those things. All I care about is who put Pettigrew in the ground.”
It had been an emotional day with tears coming in all directions. There was one positive upshot. As he and McAdams were talking to Joanne, Karen and Jordeen dropped by with Aesop and Birgitta. That’s when the waterworks became unstoppable. It was a good time to make an exit and leave the newly formed family in peace.
After dealing with Joanne, they went back to Manhattan. Decker went to the local Staples and made two copies of Karen’s files, which she had brought to Joanne’s. By the time he was done, it was close to six in the evening. He walked back to the Park Avenue apartment. The door was open when he knocked.
McAdams was stretched out on a rose-colored silk brocade sofa in his pajamas. He had his nose in a book. “Wassup?”
“Good book?”
“A course book.” He put it down. “One year down, two to go.” He shrugged. “What’s our next step?”