Scout's Honor. Stephanie Doyle
to that. He knew it was true, but he couldn’t get a read on whether Reuben was being complimentary or not.
“I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t here then.”
“I was sort of surprised by how young she is,” Greg said. “I mean, a woman baseball scout, that’s odd enough. But still in her twenties? Don’t you think that’s crazy?”
Jayson didn’t like the smile on the man’s face. Like Scout’s position on the Rebels was some kind of joke. “She learned the game of baseball from Duff Baker starting at the age of five. I think that might make her more qualified than any other scout I know.”
“Of course,” Reuben said, patting Jayson on the shoulder. “Poor thing, though, losing her father. You let her know I said to take all the time she needs to recover. There is absolutely no need to come rushing back.”
“Yep,” Greg agreed. “No need at all. My team has everything covered. Can we get you a drink, Jayson?”
Jayson held up his still clearly full beer. “No, I’m good.”
“Well, we’ll see you around, then,” Greg said. “Reuben, come and introduce me to more of the players.”
With a knot in his stomach, Jayson watched them walk off. It had been an innocent enough conversation. Nothing to worry over. Certainly nothing he was going to share with Scout. Reuben had been sympathetic. And the truth was Scout was going to need time.
Heck, Jayson thought he could use some time for his own grieving. Although for now he couldn’t think about what losing the man who had been his mentor, the man who had given him a second chance at a career in baseball, meant to him. Couldn’t let his sadness take over.
He needed to stay in control for her. Scout Baker, his ex-girlfriend.
He looked to where she stood again. She had a glass of water in her hand and a strange look on her face. If he were being truly honest she almost looked high. It wasn’t unreasonable to think her sisters might have given her some kind of tranquilizer. Just to get her through the day.
Or to get her through the day and having to see and talk to her mother. Yes, drugs were definitely necessary for that. Jayson remembered well exactly what Scout thought of her mother. If she talked about her at all, it was usually with the word traitor thrown into the mix.
It used to make him sad. As a boy who loved his mother dearly he hurt for her that she didn’t have that kind of a relationship. When they were together he remembered thinking that it was something he might be able to give her some perspective on. Being loyal to Duff didn’t necessarily mean she had to freeze out her mother.
It didn’t have to be all or nothing.
Then he’d gotten his job offer in Texas and he’d learned firsthand that when it came down to a choice between Duff and anyone else in Scout’s life, that other person was going to lose.
Which had made every day since he’d come back to this town, back into her life, nearly impossible for him. Even now that it was over he didn’t have the strength to walk away from her. He couldn’t leave her when he knew the level of suffering she was going through, but he also couldn’t open himself up too much to her.
She might seek him out, she might need his comfort, but Jayson would never have her whole heart. He could only ever be the second most important man in her life. With Duff gone now, there would be no way to ever prove otherwise.
So as much as she might need him, as much as he wanted to help her, he had to protect himself from getting his heart crushed all over again.
Four years. Four flipping years and still she was the only one he thought about having a future with. He’d dated. He’d screwed. He’d done everything he could to exorcise her.
Nothing had worked.
When he got the job offer to come back to Minotaur Falls it had felt as if he’d run into a wall with his face a second time. A physical pain. The first thought he had wasn’t that this was yet another rung on the ladder he was climbing to get back to the Major Leagues, but that if he took it, he was going to see Scout again.
Four years and she was the first thing he thought about. Which was why he’d turned down the job offer. Until Duff had called and asked him personally to come back. Then Jayson had had no choice. There was nothing he wouldn’t have done for Duff. Nothing.
Including seeing Scout again.
He’d hoped seeing her again would be the thing to cure him. To make her less of a memory and more of a reality. That he’d built their connection up in his head and put it on a pedestal it didn’t really deserve.
That initial encounter with her had been brutal. He’d taken one look at her and known to the soles of his feet that he still wasn’t over her.
He’d asked her about Duff and she’d gotten defensive and then he’d found himself mad all over again. Mad because she’d chosen to stay in Minotaur Falls instead of leaving with him. She had told him she couldn’t leave her father. That he needed her. Which was probably true, but Jayson had always known there was something else holding her back.
It wasn’t just her life here and her father that held her back. It was fear.
She hadn’t been willing to take that risk on him. On them. To reach for something and try to see if it could be as special as Jayson knew it could be. That lack of faith had crushed him. Almost as much as not being the one she chose above all. It should have also crushed his feelings for her but it hadn’t. Because he knew Scout was just scared.
Hard to hate someone who was so scared.
“You’re Jayson LeBec?”
Jayson turned toward the person calling his name. His real name, so not a baseball person obviously.
He’d never been introduced to Alice Sullivan, but he didn’t need anyone to tell him that this was Scout’s mother. Same honey-wheat hair, same green eyes. It probably irked Scout to know how much she looked exactly like her mother.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m told you broke my daughter’s heart.”
Jayson laughed. He had often wondered where Scout got her bluntness. Duff had been corny phrases and subtle innuendo. Not Scout. She was in your face with what she thought. He loved that about her. He always knew where he stood.
“Forgive me for being so blunt, ma’am, but so did you.”
“I know.” Alice sighed. “That’s why I was hoping maybe we could be friends. We both know what it’s like to be on the opposite side of team Duff and Scout.”
“I’m not sure Scout would like that too much.” In fact, Jayson was nervous just talking with the woman. If Scout saw them together it would layer on the pain, and he wanted to ease her hurt, not add to it.
“Probably not, but I think we both know she needs someone right now. I’m going to try to fight through her stubbornness and see if that person can be me. I was curious if you thought it could be you. Samantha said you wouldn’t leave her side at the end.”
“I couldn’t,” Jayson said and felt the grief overcome him. Standing there by Duff’s bedside watching him drift away. Feeling his pain, her pain. Watching the separation between them grow.
But he’d made a promise.
“I’ll...I’ll do what I can. But it’s not like I can be... I mean I can’t be anything more than a friend to her. If she even wants that. She’s let me hang around the house these last few months, but I think that’s mostly because she couldn’t spare the energy to tell me to leave.”
“Hmm,” Alice said, looking at him, clearly assessing him. He reminded her of Scout when she was checking out a new prospect. As if she could figure out if a kid could hit a curveball just by seeing how he stood. “I see.”
“See what exactly, ma’am?”