Her Baby's First Christmas. SUSAN MEIER
long do you think this trip will take?”
Jared flexed his hands on the steering wheel. “If I drive fast it’s four days. Normal speed it’s five.”
Four or five days until she faced her future. Maybe even her father. Maybe even a family.
Her stomach quaked. It seemed too soon. Yet four days was also a bit too long to sit in a silent car bouncing between fear and wishes.
At noon, Jared’s stomach growled and he took an exit ramp off the highway, suggesting they eat lunch. They ate an uneventful hamburger and fries in a fast food restaurant, and then got back on the road. Molly fell asleep almost instantly and Jared let the country music channel Elise had found fill the silent air.
At six o’clock, stiff from driving, he turned to Elise. “What do you say we stop for the night?”
She glanced up at the highway sign. “This is it? This is all the farther we’re going? We’re not even out of Nevada.”
Ignoring her protest, he said, “Watch the road signs. We’ll take the exit with the first hotel.”
“But it’s only six o’clock.”
“And my back is stiff.”
“I can drive.”
He peered at her. “Are you kidding? Do you think I’d give you my keys so you could forget to give them back and then drive away in the middle of the night with my SUV?”
She sighed. “You can’t be that distrustful.”
He turned his attention to the road again. “I know you’re eager to get home so I promise we’ll make better time tomorrow.”
She said, “Okay,” but Jared heard something odd in her voice and decided it was disappointment. Though he tried not to, he remembered times he had been eager to get home. He drew a breath, banishing the memories of homemade cookies sprinkled with sugar that MacKenzie had dyed red and green to make it more festive. Of welcome home kisses at the apartment door. Of cuddling together to stay warm in bed because the superintendent turned down the heat at night.
“There. Look.” Elise’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “There’s a hotel just off this exit.”
He maneuvered the big SUV down the ramp. When they reached the hotel, he drove under the portico, shut off his engine and jumped out of the car. Elise climbed out, too. She immediately opened the back door and freed Molly.
“Hey, kid,” Jared said as Elise walked up to him.
Molly sniffed and snuggled into her mother’s shoulder.
“She’s not quite awake enough to remember you,” Elise explained.
“I’m not offended.”
Jared made his reservation first, so he could take both Molly and the diaper bag from Elise. She opened her purse and pulled out a wallet and though Jared wasn’t one to be nosy, he couldn’t help noticing that she didn’t seem to have a lot of cash. Telling himself she probably had a bank card and a few large bills, rather than several smaller bills, he walked away, cooing to Molly who sniffled as if she wanted to cry.
“How much is it for a night… exactly?”
Hearing Elise’s question, Jared paced a bit farther away from the hotel desk. He remembered that same tone in Mackenzie’s voice when she asked the superintendent how much the rent was for their first apartment. Jared had been about to ask, but she beat him to it. She fancied herself their money manager. The memory of how bad she was with finances made him laugh, and then pinched his chest with wrenching pain.
He immediately pushed those thoughts aside, diverting his attention to Elise for the distraction. But remembering how embarrassing it was to need to know to the exact penny how much something cost, he took a few more steps away. Even then he heard her asking for the cheapest room and groaning when the desk clerk told her that all the rooms were priced the same. A price that was obviously too high for her.
Jared wanted to kick himself for not considering cost when he chose a place to stop for the night, but he also couldn’t go over and tell her that they could drive some more until they found a less expensive place. That would only embarrass her more. He considered paying for her hotel room, but knew she wouldn’t accept that, either. The woman was a walking pillar of pride. She clearly didn’t like taking help.
But her situation reminded him so much of himself and MacKenzie at the beginning of their marriage that he couldn’t simply ignore her. He hadn’t minded doing without, but he’d hated that MacKenzie had spent the last years of her life gazing longingly through storefront windows at things she couldn’t have. And Elise was a new mom. No new mom should be broke. If Jared knew the name of the man who had deserted her with a baby, he’d kick the guy’s behind.
But he couldn’t. He didn’t even know if the guy had left Elise or if it had been her decision not to tell her baby’s father she was pregnant. For all he knew, Elise might have never even told Molly’s dad he was a father. She was an independent thing—
He stopped his thoughts. None of this was any of his business.
Key card in hand, she approached him with a smile, pretending everything was fine. “All set.”
He pretended, too. “All set.”
She reached for Molly, but he said, “I’m okay with Molly. We’ll get you settled in your room first, and then I’ll take my stuff to my room and park the car.”
At the SUV he gave her the baby so he could take her suitcase, diaper bag and cooler. “What’s in this?”
“Her milk, some juice, some baby cereal. I have crackers and cookies in my suitcase for me. So if you get hungry or feel like a cookie, I have some.”
He again thought of MacKenzie’s red and green sugar-covered cookies and the deep breath he took shivered in his lungs. But his voice was calm when he said, “I’m not much of a cookie guy anymore.”
“Okay. But just in case.”
Knowing she needed the assurance that he didn’t think himself too good for her things, he nodded, and then followed her to her room, watching as she inserted the key and opened the door all without causing Molly to stir.
She walked in, looking around as if she’d never seen a hotel room before. “Wow! This is a great room.”
He glanced at the room. At best it was adequate.
“I can see why it cost so much.”
And the price, while not low, certainly wasn’t high.
But—as he’d already reminded himself—Elise and her finances were none of his business. He handed Molly to Elise and headed for the door. “Good night.”
“Good night, Jared.”
But when he reached the door, she said, “And Jared?”
He paused, facing her again.
“Thanks. I know you’re delaying your trip to New York for your own reasons, but giving us a ride saved me a lot of headaches. I really appreciate it.”
Something inside Jared stirred. It wasn’t the first time anyone had thanked him in the past five years, but this was the first time being thanked had made him feel good. He’d fallen so far into a black pit of despair that work had become his only motivation to get up some mornings. He would lose himself in the sometimes ridiculous trials and tribulations of his wealthy clients so he didn’t have to deal with his own life. He’d forgotten how good it felt to help someone.
MacKenzie would be so ashamed of him.
Some days he was ashamed of himself. But he supposed that was what happened when life threw a man a curve like the one thrown to him. He hadn’t lost his ability to function. He’d lost his ability to feel. Or maybe he’d lost his humanity. Yet, here it