Riley's Baby Boy. Karen Smith Rose
you can’t stay for breakfast … or something?”
“I think it’s better if we leave now, Mom.”
After a few more minutes of small talk where Riley became remote and her dad scowled, her mother said, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
Riley walked a few paces ahead.
Brenna’s mother came up to her left shoulder and said in a low voice, “Don’t hesitate to come back here if anything gets too hard. Some men don’t like babies around. Riley can think he wants to be a dad, but doing it is something else. This is your home, honey. Always remember that.”
“I will.”
She was sure Riley had overheard her mom.
Once outside he turned to her. “I’m going to be a dad, Brenna. Don’t doubt that. Whatever I don’t know how to do, I’ll learn. And as far as liking having babies around, I like my son already. That won’t be a problem.”
“Riley, she just wants me to know—”
“That you can come running home. I get that. I get it all too well.”
Then he walked to the SUV and opened the back door, ready to put Derek in his car seat. Brenna guessed he was ready to do whatever was necessary to claim his son. That scared her.
When they returned to Riley’s house, Brenna was rattled. She concentrated on Derek—changing him, feeding him, rocking him to sleep. Riley didn’t peek his head in to find out what she was doing. She heard him on the phone, though, his deep baritone carrying as he made an appointment for their DNA test the following day.
She knew why she felt shaken up. It was starting all over again, that torn-apart feeling. She loved her parents and they loved her, and she’d always tried to be the loyal daughter. She’d given up Riley back then, partly because of them, partly because she hadn’t known what to do. Now she understood that they wanted to spend time with their grandson, which was only natural. She wanted them to. She’d like nothing better than to have one big happy family. But she could still see the bitterness and resentment in Riley’s eyes when he looked at her dad, his standoffishness toward her mom. She could easily see her parents’ reaction to Riley, even though they didn’t know the man he’d become.
And here she was, staying in enemy camp.
With Derek asleep, Brenna went to look for Riley. They had to buy supplies. She found him in the kitchen, standing in front of the open refrigerator peering inside. Actually he seemed to be staring into space, but what did she know?
“Is he asleep?” Riley asked, closing the door without pulling anything out.
“Yes, he is. He’s really such a good baby.”
“I didn’t know if you needed help, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”
Did that mean he didn’t want to see her breastfeeding?
“You wouldn’t have disturbed us. Thanks for thinking about my need for privacy, but I don’t mind if you see. I mean, I cover up.”
The nerve in Riley’s jaw worked. She wondered what he was thinking, but she didn’t find out because he raked his hand through his hair and asked, “Grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch?”
“Grilled cheese is fine. I think I saw some carrots in there. That will take care of my vegetable. I’m going to need to go shopping this afternoon for everything I need for Derek.”
He eyed her with sudden intense concentration. “Do you want to do that alone, or do you want me to come along?”
“You’re welcome to come along.”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you want me to come along?”
Nothing had ever been easy between them. “If I buy a crib, I could probably use your help to get it in and out of my car. Handling Derek along with supplies—”
Suddenly Riley was there, right in front of her, close enough to touch. “Do you want me to come along?” he drawled slowly. “Anyone can lift a crib in and out of a car. I’m sure the store would be glad to have someone carry everything for you, especially if you go to McDougall’s.”
Of course she would go to McDougall’s for the crib. That was one reason she thought Riley might opt out of this.
“Do you want to set foot in McDougall’s?”
Riley blew out a breath. “No, I don’t want to set foot in McDougall’s. My family has gone the whole way to Flagstaff to avoid buying anything from your father’s store. But I will go there to pick out a crib for my son, or anything else he needs. And I want to make something clear, Brenna. I’m paying for it.”
“Riley—”
He clasped her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. “I will provide for him, especially when we’re buying things he’s going to use in my house. So don’t argue with me.”
This was the Riley she’d known in high school, the stubborn, sometimes defiant, boy who was determined to get his own way. She had to choose her battles carefully. She knew pride was as important to the O’Rourkes as it was to the McDougalls.
“If you want to pay for the crib, that’s fine. But I’ll pay for the diapers and—”
As his hand left her shoulder and came up to stroke her hair away from her face, she lost every thought in her head. No man’s touch had ever affected her the way Riley’s had. His blue eyes didn’t waver from hers … didn’t give her any room for escape.
“Having you under my roof is damn difficult,” he muttered. “I remember the last time you were here, our clothes scattered on the living room floor, down the hall to the bedroom. I remember the way you wrapped your arms and legs around me—”
“Riley …” She wasn’t sure if saying his name was meant to warn him or encourage him. He must have taken it as encouragement because suddenly his hands slipped under her hair. Then he was holding her still, bending his head, kissing her hard.
Nothing about Riley O’Rourke was soft—not his attitude, not his sense of purpose, not the muscles in his shoulders or in his arms or in the rest of his body. Riley defined the word male and she’d always found that fact tempting and seductive and something she couldn’t resist. She found herself sinking into him, responding to the desire she tasted in his kiss. She took his tongue into her mouth and let him explore, let him teach her again what passion was all about.
Passion. Chemistry. Sex. That had never been their problem.
Trust was.
Breaking away, she took a few steps back, wrapped her arms around herself and caught her breath. She could not trust Riley to put her best interests or Derek’s first. Deep down, she still believed …
“What are you thinking?” he asked, his voice gruff as if the kiss had shaken him up, too.
“We can’t let that happen. We can’t! I have to keep Derek in mind. He could unite our families, or he could be a pawn between them.”
“Do you think I’d use him?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
For a moment he looked as if he were going to erupt. But then he shook his head, took a walk across the kitchen and then back to her again. “You’re the one who left, Brenna. You’re the one who walked away when I wanted to go public and tell everybody you were my girlfriend. So why won’t you trust me?”
“Because I’ll never know if you started an affair with me in high school because you really wanted me, or because you wanted to get back at my father.”
Riley went completely still, and she could see defensive pride sliding over him once more. “If we’re going to be Derek’s parents, if we’re going to make decisions about him together and decide what’s best for his