Caroselli's Christmas Baby. Michelle Celmer
right in the mouth.
The entire cafeteria went dead silent, everyone watching to see what would happen next, and he’d felt instantly ashamed for hitting a weak, defenseless girl.
He would never forget the way he’d stood watching her, waiting for the tears to start as blood oozed from the corner of her lip and down her chin. And how she balled her fist, took a swing right back at him, clipping him in the jaw. He was so stunned, he just stood there. But she wasn’t finished. She launched herself at him, knocking him to the floor, and there was nothing girly about it. No biting or scratching or hair-pulling. She fought like a boy, and her fists were lethal weapons. He had no choice but to fight back. To defend himself. Plus, he had his pride, because to a nine-year-old boy, being accepted meant everything.
It had taken three teachers to pry them apart and haul them to the dean’s office, both of them bruised and bloody. They were given a fourteen-day in-school suspension, though that was mild compared to the tirade he’d endured from his father, and the disappointment from his mother, who he knew were miserable enough without any help from him.
He spent the next two weeks holed up in a classroom alone with Terri, and as the black eyes faded and the split lips healed, something weird happened. To this day he wasn’t sure whether it was mutual admiration or two lost souls finding solace in each other, but they walked out of that room friends, and had been ever since.
“So, you beat the snot out of me because you liked me?” he said.
“It wasn’t even a conscious thing. Until I looked back at it years later did I realize why I was so mean to you. But once we became friends, I never thought about you in a romantic way.”
“Never?”
“Why would I?” she said, but a hot-pink blush crept up into her cheeks. She pushed herself off his desk and walked over to the window, looking out into the darkness, at the traffic crawling past on icy roads.
If she hadn’t, why the embarrassment? Why was she running away from him?
He knew he should probably let it go, but he couldn’t. “You never thought about what it might be like if I kissed you?”
With her back to him, she shrugged. “You kiss me all the time.”
“Not a real kiss.” But now that he’d gotten the idea into his head, he couldn’t seem to shake it off. He wanted to kiss her.
He pushed off the desk, walked over to the window and stood behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders and she jerked, sucking in a surprised breath. “Nick …”
He turned her so she was facing him. She was so tall they were practically nose to nose. “Come on, aren’t you the least bit curious?”
“It’s just … it would be weird.”
He propped a hand on the windowpane beside her head, so she was blocked in by his arm on one side and the wall on the other. “How will you know until you try?”
He reached up to run his finger down her cheek, and not only was it crimson, but burning hot.
“Nick,” she said, but it came out sounding low and breathy. It was a side of her that he didn’t see often. A softer, vulnerable Terri, and he liked it. And it occurred to him, as he leaned in closer, that what he was feeling right now wasn’t just curiosity. He was turned-on. And it was no longer the childish fantasies of a teenage boy who knew he wanted something, but wasn’t quite sure what it was. This time Nick knew exactly what he wanted.
“One kiss,” he told her, coming closer, so his mouth was just inches from hers. “And if it’s really that awful, we won’t ever do it again.”
Heat rolled off her in waves. Her pulse was racing, and as she tentatively laid a hand near the collar of his jacket, he could feel her trembling. Was she afraid, or as sexually charged by this as he was? Or was it a little of both? With her hand strategically placed on his chest, she could either push him away, or grab his lapel and pull him in.
Which would it be?
He leaned in slowly, drawing out the suspense. When his lips were a fraction of an inch away, so near he could feel the flutter of her breath, as her fingers curled around the lapel of his jacket … a loud noise from the hallway startled them both and they jumped apart.
Damn it!
Nick walked to the door and looked out to see a member of the cleaning crew pushing her cart down the hall toward the conference room.
He turned, hoping they could pick up where they left off, only to find Terri yanking on her coat. “What are you doing?”
“I really need to get home.”
“Terri—”
“This was a mistake, Nick. I think we’re better off using a doctor, like I originally planned.”
“If that’s what you really want,” he said, feeling disappointed, but trying not to let it show.
“I’ll cover the cost.”
As if he would let her do that. “I insist on paying at least half.”
She looked as if she might argue, then seemed to change her mind. She nodded and said, “That sounds fair.”
He grabbed his coat and shrugged into it. “I’ll drive you home.”
She didn’t say a word as they walked to the elevator, and rode it to the underground parking garage, but he could practically hear the wheels in her mind moving. As much as he wanted to know what she was thinking, he knew better than to ask. If she wanted him to know, she would talk when she was ready. If he tried to drag it out of her, she would clam up. He’d seen her do it a million times. As close as they were, there was always a small part of herself that she vigilantly guarded from everyone, and could he blame her? His parents’ relationship may have been a disaster, but at least he had parents. Despite their dysfunctional marriage, they loved him and his sisters. From the time she moved to Chicago, all Terri ever had was an aunt who only tolerated her presence. If she had loved Terri, she had been unable, or unwilling to let it show.
Though he knew it irked her, Nick opened the passenger door for Terri. Normally she would make a fuss about being completely capable of opening her own door thank-you-very-much, but she didn’t say a word this time. Anyone who knew Terri was well aware she always had something to say, or an opinion about pretty much everything. Tonight, she was quiet the entire ride to her condominium complex on the opposite side of town.
Nick pulled up in front of her unit and turned to her, but she was just sitting there, looking out the windshield. “Everything okay?” he asked.
She nodded, but didn’t move.
“Are you sure? You can talk to me.”
“I know. I just …” She shrugged.
Whatever it was, she wasn’t ready to discuss it.
“Well, you know where I am if you need me,” he said, even though as long as he’d known her, Terri never truly needed anyone. She wrote the handbook on self-sufficiency.
He leaned over to kiss her cheek, the way he always did, but she flung open the car door and jumped out before he had the chance. As he watched her dart into the building without looking back, he couldn’t help thinking that in her attempt to keep things between them from changing, they already had.
Three
Though she had hoped getting a good night’s sleep would make things clearer, Terri tossed and turned all night, then woke the next morning feeling just as confused as she had been when Nick had dropped her at home.
She didn’t want their relationship to change. But what she realized last night while he drove her home was that it already had changed, and it was too late to go back. They had opened a door, and there would be no closing it again until they both stepped through. Unfortunately, she had no idea what was