How Not To Be Starstruck. Portia MacIntosh
my God, I feel terrible. I’ve got such a headache and I’m too scared to open my eyes properly in case the light makes it worse. The events of last night are bouncing around in my head, which is probably contributing towards my headache. How could I have been so stupid? Mark might have masterminded a pretty decent plan to get me alone, but I didn’t have to go along with it. Yes, I was drunk enough to get caught up in things, but unfortunately I wasn’t quite drunk enough to forget what happened. But nothing did happen really, did it? It was just a silly kiss. I kiss people all the time – although, not everyone I kiss tries to remove my underwear in the street.
I open my eyes ever so slowly and stare at the ceiling for a second, giving them chance to adjust. The bus is silent so I assume everyone else is asleep. Rolling onto my side I see that Luke is sitting on the opposite side of the sofa, in the exact same place he was last night. He’s staring at me and his face is totally expressionless. I must look terrible, not only did I have such an awkward, uncomfortable night but I didn’t take my make-up off and you can guarantee my post-club hair will be a frizzy mess.
‘Good morning,’ I say weakly.
‘Hello,’ he replies. ‘Rough night?’
‘Something like that...what time is it?’
‘8 a.m. Want to go get a coffee?’ he asks in an unusually blunt manner.
‘Yeah, sure. I’ll just smarten myself up,’ I reply shyly. I really didn’t want him to see me like this.
‘OK. I’m going outside for a smoke, I’ll see you in a minute.’ And with that, he’s gone.
As I slowly sit up, I take in my surroundings. The living area is just as messy as I am. Empty cans and bottles are littered all over the place, there’s the odd junk food wrapper and cigarette packets scattered around and I am being over powered by two smells – Lynx and sweat. Unfortunately the latter scent is the stronger one.
Grabbing my bag, I make my way to the tiny bus toilet. It’s impossible not to feel claustrophobic in these bathrooms, there’s barely enough standing room for one person. The small space consists of a toilet, a small sink and a shower head, none of which are very easy to use, even when the bus is stationary. I catch sight of myself in the dirty mirror and, just as I suspected, I have make-up all over my face and a hairstyle that would be more at home in the 80s. Thankfully my face wipes are in the bag that I actually remembered, although unfortunately I don’t have a hairbrush or any clean clothes with me.
Winding my long blonde hair into a bun on the top of my head, I begin wiping off my make-up – only to start reapplying it seconds later. With my hair looking crap, I make the decision to wear even more make-up to compensate. Standing back to take in my appearance in the tiny mirror, I can only conclude that I look like a groupie. My hair is messed up, my make-up is over the top and I’m still wearing my gig outfit – or maybe I just feel like a groupie after last night.
I am distracted from my thoughts by a noise from my phone. Taking it out of my bag I realise it is the low battery alert and guess what? I packed my charger in the bag I left at home. Now I’m feeling seriously out of my comfort zone. I’m horribly hungover, I look a complete state, I’m going to have to face both Mark and Luke today and to top it all off my only form of contact with the ‘real world’ will be cut off when my phone dies, which I’m guessing is going to be sooner rather than later.
As I leave the bathroom and make my way past the bunks, I can hear girls giggling, but I don’t remember seeing any girls last night when we left the club. Maybe they found their way on to the bus while Mark and I made our detour.
As I pass Eddie’s bunk, a girl climbs out and, looking at the state of her, I start to feel slightly better about the way I look this morning. She is definitely still drunk, her clothes are hanging off and she’s looking at me like I’ve just fallen out of a tree. She actually looks like she has just fallen out of a tree.
‘Becky,’ she calls, looking at me but failing to acknowledge the fact that I am standing there and that she is blocking my path. Becky sticks her head out of the bottom bunk which, as far as I remember, is Ben’s bunk, but he must be in one of the spares because, as we all know, Ben has a girlfriend and he doesn’t stop texting her for long enough to even talk to another girl. Becky looks equally as rough as her friend so I’m quite happy to walk off the bus after them, they can only make me look better. Neither girl speaks to me until we get to the bus door, which neither of them can work out how to open.
‘How the fuck does this open?’ Becky asks me politely. I don’t say anything, I just reach forward and open the door. Becky and her friend fall about laughing and hop off the bus. As they walk past Luke, they both say ‘Bye, Luke’ in unison, laughing hysterically as they stagger off.
‘Bye, girls,’ he says and then turns towards me. ‘They weren’t with me you know.’
‘No judgement from me,’ I tell him, holding up my hands. I’m hardly in a position to say anything, am I? Feeling self-conscious, I let my hair down. Knots or no knots, my long hair is like my safety blanket. You don’t find many girls with real long hair these days, just cheap-looking hair extensions. It’s got to a point where people come up to me to ask me where I purchased such realistic fake hair, and I always tell them my little-known but very simple hair tip: if you don’t get your hair cut, it will grow. Magic, isn’t it?
‘You know I care what you think,’ he says, throwing the end of his cigarette on the floor and stamping it out. ‘Shall we go get that coffee?’
I nod and follow his lead. I love Manchester, but with my rubbish sense of direction I find it impossible to find my way around, and it doesn’t matter how many times I visit.
‘Cold, isn’t it?’ I say in an attempt to break the silence with small talk.
‘It is. You should have put something warmer on.’
I look down at my dress. Not only is it totally inappropriate for strolling around town at this time of morning, but it isn’t doing much to fight off the chilly October wind. Oh, and there’s a rather unattractive booze stain down the side that must have happened last night.
‘I would have, but I forgot the bag with my clothes in. Don’t laugh!’ I warn him.
He does laugh, and it’s adorable. His eyes light up when he laughs and he’s got the most gorgeous smile.
‘What are we going to do with you?’ he sighs, putting his arm around me and I wonder if he’s doing it to keep me warm, or just to touch me.
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘You’ll freeze! Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ve got something you can wear,’ he says as he ushers me into Starbucks.
I don’t think I have ever been so happy to be in Starbucks. I haven’t been inside this particular branch before, but it all feels so familiar and I instantly feel more relaxed. I may have been feeling out of my comfort zone before but this feels just like home.
We grab our drinks and take a seat on the sofa in the only dark corner of the room, something my hangover and I are very thankful for.
‘So last night was a bit mad,’ Luke starts. ‘I’m sorry we didn’t see very much of each other, did you sleep on the sofa all night?’
‘I did. I was tipsy, I must have fallen asleep there,’ I lie.
‘I’m sorry you had to walk back with Torpedo.’
What I’m thinking is that I’m sorry I had to as well, but what I say out loud is, ‘Don’t worry about it.’
The conversation feels forced and awkward, and it worries me that I still have to spend a few more days with these people, living in such a small space. Yes, it’s a big bus, but not when you’re trying to avoid people.
‘Well you must have had a horrible night’s sleep, but don’t worry, we’re booked in a hotel tonight.’
Thank God! After one night of not sleeping in