A Taste Of Italy: Midwife, Mother...Italian's Wife. Fiona McArthur
it wasn’t over yet. It was an unexpected nightmare he’d dragged her into and he would never forgive himself. How many people were after him in his life? But there was much he didn’t understand.
She searched his face and pulled away a little. ‘There’s more, isn’t there?’
How could she tell? ‘The boys aren’t hurt.’
Still she watched him. Closely. ‘Your people?’
He shook his head. ‘No.’
Her head lifted as if she could scent danger. ‘Then something went wrong with the kidnappers. So it’s not finished.’
He squeezed her shoulders tight beneath his hands. ‘It will be finished.’
She moved out of his embrace and her narrowed eyes flicked over him and away. ‘You can’t promise that.’
‘I promised the boys would be returned.’
She looked at him and slowly she nodded. ‘You did.’ He could feel the distance grow between them. Despite what had passed only an hour ago. Or perhaps because of it. He thought briefly of a subject they hadn’t broached but she went on.
‘And I trusted you. But I don’t know if I could do that again with my son’s life.’ And there was more there than was spoken and they both knew.
He inclined his head. ‘I understand.’
She moved to slide out of the bed and he laid his hand on her shoulder to stay her. ‘There is another thing we must discuss.’
She wrinkled her forehead. ‘Yes?’
‘I did not protect you when we made love. What of those chances?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m meticulous.’
‘Then there is nothing else you need to worry about.’
‘Or you,’ she confirmed.
The Saturday night before they left was so much harder to have Leon in the house, Tammy reflected with a sigh, thanks to a moment of weakness.
When she’d finally held her son safe in her arms that morning, Jack had asked if Paulo and his dad could stay their last night with them. Of course she’d said yes. She understood Jack’s need and would have given her son anything he desired in that moment, that precious, arm-filling, flesh-and-blood hug of her unharmed child.
Both boys hadn’t wanted to be separated after their ordeal and the day had been spent quietly watching over them as they slept and feeding them when they were awake. Leon had spent hours with the police.
How could she say no? What could she say, that she needed as much space as she could get from Leon now that she knew the man? Knew him with a depth and intensity and physical knowledge that scared the living daylights out of her.
Had heard his deepest fears exposed, had wept for the young orphan, had seen a little of his growing feelings for her. During her darkest hour those things had immeasurably comforted. Now they would both pay the price and tonight was incredibly awkward. And on top of it all was the guilt that Leon didn’t know she’d understood his words.
Then there were the secrets he held. Where had he been when she’d been woken by the phone? Certainly not beside her in a state of undress. Plus the fact that two quiet men were outside, somewhere watching over her house and the people inside. She felt as if her world was spinning out of her control. She, who prided herself on control.
Leon had been reluctant to confirm their presence, but she’d seen them leaning on the tree across the road, and another out the back against her father’s fence. His bodyguards.
Again she thought of Vincente and his cronies and the secrets and murky dealings she’d learned more of each day, and it hardened her resolve to stay aloof from this other dark man. But she needed all that resolve to not seek the same comfort she knew she could lose herself in.
The boys were finally asleep for the night. She’d been in and checked on them so many times she was almost dizzy with it.
Leon circled her, wary of intruding on her space, wary of her, as he should be. She was afraid of her self, her thoughts, her dilemmas that loomed large in the emotionally fogged compartments in her brain.
He came closer until he stopped in front of her. Lifted his hand and brushed the hair out of her eyes.
She shrugged and shifted out of his reach because she knew how easily she could have thrown herself back into his arms and that was the last thing she wanted communicated to him.
For Leon it was confirmation that she didn’t need him. She had her son back. He was just prolonging her embarrassment. He watched her turn away again and search the room for the peace she obviously hadn’t found next to him. ‘The boys are safe now,’ he said.
‘Are they?’ She sighed. ‘Really? I have to bow to your superior knowledge, there, don’t I?’
It was his fault. Letting her guess it was all not finished. He laughed without humour. Still she didn’t trust him. ‘Why don’t I believe you could bow before anyone?’
Her eyes pinned him. ‘Well, what if these criminals do come back to hurt the boys?’
He ran his hand down her arm. His aim had been to gentle her but all he seemed to achieve was to reinforce her agitation and his own aching feeling of loss. In the past twenty-four hours he’d changed.
Making love with Tamara had changed him. Had cost him something he hadn’t wanted to give, ever again. But now was not the time to rail at himself for something he’d had no control of. Later he would sift what could be salvaged from the wreckage. He said again, ‘The boys are safe.’
‘You don’t know that.’ She looked at him. ‘You can’t lie that you aren’t frightened they’ll come back for Paulo.’
He sighed and he fought the dark pictures away. The way he’d only just caught them last time, Paulo pale and almost lifeless in his arms, the panic at the airport. The sickness of dread. And now again, unexpectedly, in this far-off land, and the fact that no ransom had been demanded. ‘But there was no reason to take Jack.’
‘There wasn’t yesterday.’ Tammy shook her head. ‘But now he knows what the men look like.’
He raked restless fingers through his hair. Nearly all the men had been caught. With one close to the end when last he’d heard. ‘What if it was not Paulo they were after?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t understand.’
Neither did he. ‘Is there any reason somebody would want Jack?’
Her hand flew up as if to brush aside the idea. Vehemently. ‘Of course not. They were after Paulo.’
He watched her, narrowed his eyes as he tried to understand the nuance he was missing. Something that didn’t ring true, though she’d never given him cause to disbelieve her before. It was hard to pinpoint his unease. ‘My bodyguard was told they were delivering Jack.’
She shook her head. ‘They made a mistake.’
He heard her words but this was what he couldn’t understand. There had to be a connection. ‘What about his father?’
She avoided his eyes. ‘He’s never seen his father.’ He’d been in jail for all of Jack’s life, but she didn’t want to share that delightful pearl of information. She shook her head again. ‘Jack knows I haven’t seen or heard from his family since Ben moved me out of Sydney eight years ago. Before Jack was born. Jack’s father was not someone I’m proud of falling in love with.’ And I’m not making the same mistake twice.
Leon sat and pulled her down next to him. ‘How old were you, Tammy?’
She stood again and walked away. She didn’t want to talk about this now. When she had her back to him she answered, ‘Does it matter?’
Leon