Night Hawk. Lindsay McKenna
that happened, a lot of nuances slipped unseen beneath the bridge of normal awareness. Still, the warmth that existed between the two of them was real and Gil liked to sit at the table and watch the dynamic. Sandy deserved some breaks in her life. She’d had two husbands die unexpectedly. And from what her son, Talon, had told him, she had loved each of them with her whole heart.
In a way, as Gil opened the picket-fence gate to the ranch house, he saw a little of Kai in Sandy. She had loved Sam with everything she had. And she had been true and loyal to him. Gil’s conscience needled him as his boots rang hollowly against the cedar steps leading up to the massive ranch house porch. He wanted to turn around, walk back to that barn and hold Kai. Just stop the pain she was feeling because of a situation he had no control over. He had been shocked at the depth of her anger, the depth of hurt he’d caused her.
Taking off his hat, he opened the door and stepped into the foyer. There was conversation and laughter coming from the large kitchen down the hall and to his right. His heart twinged. Settling his Stetson on a peg, he halted for a moment, trying to get his strewn emotions collected. No one knew what had happened between him and Kai in the barn. He had to appear as if nothing was wrong. But the truth was that his whole life was in chaos for a thousand reasons. And it wasn’t Kai’s fault. It was entirely his.
* * *
KAI AVOIDED LUNCH with everyone. She had a protein bar she kept in her toolbox, and she kept working out in the barn instead. The day had warmed up, the air fresh with a scent of pine drifting fragrantly through the barn.
As she went to each piece of equipment, she cleaned it up. It was a lot of work, but it made her feel better under the circumstances. Gil was like that dust that had collected on the metal surfaces of the machines. She had never forgotten about him, his kisses, his crying in her arms, as if his entire world had been torn up and would never be the same again. It had turned her grieving heart inside out. She’d never heard a man cry before and it had stripped her emotionally in ways she could never describe, except that it was an agony that tore her up, made her want to hold him, give him safe harbor from his brother dying unexpectedly in combat.
She heard someone walk into the barn around one in the afternoon, and instantly Kai went on alert. Was it Gil? Looking up from where she stood, she saw it was Cat Holt. She wore a black baseball cap, a pale yellow tee with short sleeves and Levi’s.
“Hey,” Cat called, lifting her hand, “we missed you at lunch. Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Kai answered. She washed her hands off in the bucket of clean water and wiped them down on the sides of her jeans. “I know we were supposed to go riding today, but I’m really focused on getting this list of repairs done for Talon. You okay with that?” Kai liked the tall, well-built woman. She was in good shape and Kai knew from Cass that at one time she’d been a firefighter in the Jackson Hole Fire Department until she injured her knee.
“Sure, no problem.” Cat came over and smiled. “Wow, you’re really making all this stuff sparkle and shine. You didn’t have to do that, Kai. You know that, don’t you?”
Shrugging, Kai smiled a little and ran her hand over the hay baler. “Can’t stand to see equipment dirty like this.”
Cat leaned against the baler. “Know what you mean.” She looked around the barn, cooing sounds echoing every now and then. “The Triple H was in the Holt family for a hundred years. Sandy got breast cancer at age forty and, sadly, she had to sell the place to get the money to pay off her medical bills.”
Kai wrinkled her nose and took a break. “That’s horrible.”
“The worst,” Cat agreed softly. “I’ve known Sandy since she first contracted breast cancer. I was working at the fire department then as a paramedic. We became good friends and I’d drop over to that small, awful apartment, which was all she could afford. She loves reading, so I’d read to her, share lunch with her and try to get her to eat.”
Kai felt warmth flow through her heart as she studied Cat. “And you knew her for how long before Talon got home?”
“Five years,” Cat murmured, smiling. “I kinda knew Talon from the photo scrapbook that Sandy showed me. I knew just about everything about their family, the love she had for her two husbands who both died unexpectedly.”
“And Cass told me that her breast cancer had returned.” Kai felt badly for the woman. Cancer scared everyone.
Nodding, Cat said, “It did. Talon had gotten wounded nine months earlier, and so did his dog, Zeke. He was coming home after he got discharged from the hospital, to take care of her.”
“And is Sandy’s cancer gone yet?”
“It is. But she’s got an aggressive kind and I worry.” She nibbled on her lower lip. And then her eyes sparkled. “But I think with Cass coming into her life, it’s helping her to rally.”
Kai smiled a little. “I think they like one another. Don’t you?”
Cat chuckled. “Just a little. Cass is forty-nine and Sandy is the same age. They’re good together. He can get her to eat and has actually helped her gain back some of her lost weight. That’s a miracle in and of itself.”
“I feel love is the greatest healer of all,” Kai said quietly, holding Cat’s worried look. “I mean, I don’t know if there is love between them or not, but loving care makes the difference.” She ought to know. She’d reached out, opened her arms to Gil, who was clearly suffering and in anguish, and helped him. She saw Cat’s face soften and become pensive.
“Love is the greatest of healers. You’re right.” She lifted her chin. “My husband was very wounded in so many ways as a SEAL operator. He came home to a mess with Sandy. She’d given up hope and refused any more treatment to stop the return of her cancer. He was dealing with a lot. I just happened to walk into the picture at that moment.”
Kai studied Cat, the silence ebbing gently between them. “But you fell in love with Talon?”
“I did, but I didn’t want to. I’d screwed up my life, too. I didn’t want to involve Talon in it.”
“I think life is messy at best,” Kai muttered distastefully.
Laughing a little, Cat nodded. “No argument there. The good news is that we’re starting to get a workable foundation under us to bring the Triple H back into great shape.”
“Gil said the ranch went into a state of disrepair for nine years.”
‘Yeah. Easterners bought it, one after another playing cowboy, and they knew nothing at all,” she said grimly, wrapping her arms around her chest. “I can’t tell you how many times Sandy cried over the guilt of having to sell their family ranch for her medical bills. It was a horrible, stressful burden on her.”
“Guilt is a bitch,” Kai agreed, just as grim. “But she’s better now? Coming back home?”
“Yes. The doctors cleared her a month ago, proclaimed her free of cancer. Again.” Cat shook her head. “I just keep praying it stays away this time.”
“Don’t you think that the shock of having to sell her ranch brought it back a second time?”
Giving her a searching look, Cat said, “Funny, I always thought the same thing. I mean, I never talked to Sandy or Talon about it.”
“But you’re a paramedic. You see how shock devastates a person on every level.”
“Yes, it does. You’re pretty sharp and observant, Kai.”
Grinning a little, she wiped her hands on a rag. “I see patterns in people’s lives. I look for cause and effect.”
“Hmm, well, that’s not a bad way to approach it. Sandy was always weighted down by the loss of their ranch. I saw her at least three times a week and she always talked about it. Cried over it. She couldn’t let it go.”
“How did you get the ranch back?”
“Miss