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to it. I’ve been sleeping in one of those chairs for so long now that a bed will probably feel weird.’
And there it was again. A slap in the face. A reminder of where she’d been for the last three months. An echo of the awkward moment last night when Rafael had asked if she would come home to sleep and she’d said that changing something that big in Ella’s routine was out of the question just yet.
‘How is she this morning?’
‘Good. She ate a little stewed apple and porridge for breakfast. It’s great that she already knows so many of the nurses on the ward. She’s got Melanie today and I don’t think she even noticed me leaving to come here.’
‘I’ll get up and see her as soon as we’ve finished here. I...wasn’t sure whether to disturb your early-morning routine.’
Keeping his distance? Abbie stifled a sigh. ‘She’s your daughter, Rafe. You can spend as much time with her as you want.’
His nod was almost curt. He reached for a pile of notes and slid them along the counter. ‘Here are your patients for this morning.’
It wasn’t rocket science to see that her pile was much smaller than his. Or that the names on the list had been divided far more equally. Abbie raised her eyebrows. Rafael shrugged.
‘I’ve added some cases to my list. It’s your first morning back, Abbie. I wanted to make things a little easier for you.’
Abbie stared at him. ‘If I didn’t think I could cope, I wouldn’t be here.’
The words came out a little more vehemently than she’d intended but it was bad enough feeling nervous about her own performance. She didn’t need other people doubting her abilities.
He mirrored her raised eyebrows and gave another one of those subtle shrugs that was part of what kept people so aware of his birthplace. As you wish, it said. It’s of no importance to me.
Except it had been of importance or he wouldn’t have done it. And it was a generous gesture when he probably had too much to do today anyway. Maybe she should compromise. Abbie scanned the list rapidly.
‘I’d like to keep this little girl.’ She tapped the list. ‘Grade-three microtia. That’s one of my favourite things to do.’
Rafael knew that. He’d been in Theatre with her more than once as she’d tackled the delicate surgery to create an ear from the birth deformity that had left nothing more than a peanut-shaped blob as an outer ear. Life-changing surgery for a child who was being teased at school, and this little girl was seven years old.
‘And this one...’ She pulled another set of notes from the pile. ‘Seven-month-old ready for repair of his cleft lip and palate. Oh...it’s Angus. I remember us seeing him for his first consultation. That’s another one I’d love to do...’
Her voice trailed away. The sometimes massive surgery needed to correct this kind of birth defect was a procedure that both she and Rafael were known to be exceptionally good at. Together. Rafael’s skill at shifting bones and moulding features in conjunction with her ability to join tiny blood vessels and nerves and then suture to leave almost invisible scars had made them a team that people came from all over the country to consult via the Hunter Clinic.
Would she want to do it by herself?
‘Maybe I’ll leave this one for you.’ Abbie couldn’t bring herself to look up at Rafael. ‘I’ll take Harriet back, though. I’ve been wondering how those burn scars are settling. She must be due for her next surgery.’
Rafael simply nodded, took the first set of notes from his pile and headed to the first consulting room. Abbie took her first set and went past his door to Room 3. Separate lists. Separate rooms. Separate operating theatres even? Was this how it was going to be from now on?
Even when they’d seen different patients in the past, they’d always been popping into each other’s rooms to get a second opinion or simply brainstorm a case. This felt wrong but it was also a relief. Perhaps they needed time to get used to working together again. Or maybe they actually needed to find out if they could work together when their personal lives were in such disarray. Being too close too soon could well mean that it would never happen.
There was no reason why they couldn’t define some professional boundaries and make it work. Was there?
Apparently there was. The message Abbie got later that day, asking her to attend a meeting at the Hunter Clinic, had all the undertones of a ‘Please explain.’
* * *
‘Urgent message, Mr de Luca.’
‘What is it, Nicole?’ The expression on the young woman’s face suggested that his secretary was anxious. She was right behind him as he kept moving into his office.
‘A meeting at the Hunter Clinic at five p.m. With Leo and Ethan Hunter. In Leo’s office. Gwen said she’s checked your calendar and you’re available, so...’
The sentence was left hanging but Nicole might as well have finished it. The unsaid words were that no excuses would be acceptable short of the direst emergency.
‘Did she say what it was about?’
‘No. Shall I order a cab for you?’
‘I suppose you’ll have to,’ Rafael growled. He didn’t have any consultations booked at the exclusive Hunter Clinic that he could think of so he had no idea why it was suddenly so important to meet with the Hunter brothers this afternoon, and if he did have a space on his calendar, he’d much rather be spending that time with Ella.
Now he’d barely have time to eat the sandwich he’d just bought on the run for a late lunch. He dropped the plastic triangular package on his desk, along with the other purchase he’d made in the gift shop beside the café.
‘Oh, what’s that?’ Nicole’s face lit up with a wide smile. ‘It’s gorgeous.’ She reached out to pick up the huge teddy bear that was wearing a sparkly pink tutu and had pink ballet shoes on its feet. She hugged the bear. ‘I love it. It’s so soft and squishy. And huge. It must be just as big as Ella is now.’
‘Almost.’ It wasn’t really a baby’s toy either, but his Fiorella was growing up, wasn’t she?
‘I heard she was back. And that she’s doing well. That’s wonderful, isn’t it?’
‘It certainly is.’
Nicole put the bear down with some reluctance. ‘She’ll want to be a dancer when she grows up after she sees this. Look at those cute ballet shoes. Oh...I would have loved something like this when I was a little girl.’
A little girl. Not a baby any more. Yes... He had been shocked by how much Ella had changed since he’d last seen her. It was mainly due to such an improvement in her condition but three months was a long time in a baby’s life. She had more teeth and her smile looked different. Her hands were so much cleverer and her baby babble was beginning to have the inflections of real speech. She could stand up and even walk if someone held her hands. She’d barely been able to sit unaided when he’d last seen her.
He’d missed so much and that added another painful layer to the guilt he already felt at having left Abbie to cope alone in New York.
Rafael tried to shake his swift train of thought. ‘Order the taxi for four-thirty,’ he instructed Nicole, picking up the bear and depositing it in a corner of the office. ‘I don’t want to get stuck in rush-hour traffic. Anything else urgent I should know about?’
‘No.’
‘Good. I’ll get on with my clinic notes, then.’
Except that the pink bear sitting in the corner kept catching his peripheral vision. Making him think of Ella.
And of Abbie.
Would she forgive him for leaving her to cope alone in New York like that? For sending her away with