A Christmas Baby For The Cowboy. Deb Kastner
the inevitable conclusion if he let his mind wander back to that night.
Instead, he lightened the mood and attempted to tease her, though he wasn’t fully successful in his effort.
“Wow, thanks,” he muttered sardonically. “And here I thought you picked me because I’m good-looking.”
She snorted. “Inflate your own ego much?”
He tipped one edge of his mouth up in a half smile. “Hey, I’m just calling it as I see it. Remember, every morning I have to look at my reflection in the mirror.”
The truth was, he hated what he saw when he looked in the mirror these days—blotchy skin, sunken eyes. The polar opposite of the good-looking youth he’d once been. Everyone else who laid eyes on him saw the same thing.
She apparently noticed the shift in his mood, because her lips turned to a frown.
“This isn’t just about Aaron,” she hastened to explain. “Yes, that was part of the reason I bid on you, but besides that, you really are the best fit for what I need done.”
“How is that?” He couldn’t imagine she believed he was good for anything.
“I’m doing some fairly major renovations with the store. I have to have everything done before the Christmas season starts this year because I’ve signed an exclusive contract with Kickfire to sell their products. Another pair of willing hands would be much appreciated.”
“I’d be happy to help,” he said, and meant it. “But if you don’t mind my asking, what happened to Eddie? And your father? Aren’t they helping in the shop?”
Her gaze dropped and her cheeks pinkened. “Eddie decided wrangling is more fun than adding up accounts at the end of the day. And my father—” She choked on the word and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I’m running the store myself for the time being.”
He blew out a low whistle. “That’s a lot to carry around on your shoulders.”
“Mmm,” she answered, but he couldn’t tell whether she was agreeing with him or not. “I didn’t anticipate having you around for more than a week at most, but a longer stay might not be all bad.”
“Gee, thanks,” he muttered, but he narrowed his eyes in concern when Alyssa’s shoulders slumped.
“If I’m honest, I have to admit I’m bone tired from working six days a week with rare breaks.”
She ran a hand down her face. Cash followed the movement with his eyes and for the first time noticed the tiny lines of strain in her expression.
“Back when you were in high school, you were employed part-time here at the store,” she continued. “I suspect it won’t take you very long to remember how we do things. Not much has changed since you’ve been here last. You already know how to set modules, restock, receive freight and keep the storage room in order, so I won’t even have to teach you, will I? Or do you need a refresher?”
“I haven’t forgotten,” he assured her. “Working at Emerson’s with Aaron is one of my best memories from high school. Your dad was good to me when I probably didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t mind saying hello.”
Her face suddenly blanched a pasty white and it looked as if she was choking on her breath, just as it had a moment ago when she’d mentioned her father.
Instinctively, he reached for her arm.
“Are you okay? What? What did I say?”
“Dad is ill,” she said gravely. “That’s part of the reason I’m running the store virtually on my own.”
A tremor ran through her and Cash brushed his hand across her shoulder, comforting her as best he could, despite feeling awkward and powerless to do more for her.
“What’s wrong with him?” he asked, his voice dropping lower than usual.
“I don’t know if you heard anything about what happened to my family after Aaron died. It really affected my parents’ relationship. The long and short of it is my mom evidently couldn’t handle the pressure. She left town—and Dad.”
Her voice cracked. “She left all of us. And she never looked back.”
He sucked in a surprised breath between his teeth.
He hadn’t known. Hadn’t heard a word about it.
Having her mom abandon her? That couldn’t have been an easy thing for Lizzie—Alyssa, he reminded himself, to go through, especially just after Aaron’s death. Her mother. It didn’t matter that Alyssa was an adult now. He couldn’t even imagine what that felt like.
His stomach roiled. So much could happen in a mere six months. No time at all, and yet it felt like an eternity had passed.
A wave of guilt washed over him. Like the ripple created when he tossed a rock into clear water, his actions had caused so much turmoil. Cash was only now beginning to realize how much that one act—the proverbial rock he’d thrown into the water—had affected not only his life, but others’, too.
Aaron had died. He had inadvertently hurt Alyssa—and her father. And no doubt Eddie, as well. The circle just seemed to keep growing.
This—all of this—was his fault.
“Dad hasn’t recovered from Mom abandoning him,” she whispered raggedly, continuing the story.
She cleared her throat. Her chocolate-brown eyes were glassy, but no tears fell.
“Like all of us, he’d depended on Mom for practically everything. She didn’t just run the household. She supported everyone with her internal strength.”
Alyssa sighed wearily. “Dad can’t get along without her. I didn’t know it at the time, but he recently admitted to me that he barely ate anything the first few weeks after Mom was gone. He lost a lot of weight, and it was only then that Eddie and I started noticing the changes in him. He can’t sleep without a sedative. His health has taken a major nosedive and he’s only a shell of the man he used to be.”
“I’m so sorry. To lose your mom that way...”
Twin clefts appeared between her eyes. “We didn’t lose her. She isn’t gone. She walked away. And she didn’t look back. I don’t even know if she considered how her actions would affect the family. She selfishly thought only of herself. Aaron’s death might have been the last straw for her, but I suspect the situation went much further back than that.”
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated, not knowing what else he could say. No words could possibly act as a salve on Alyssa’s heart. Cash of all people knew that.
Alyssa was in an even worse predicament than Cash had originally imagined. It was more important than ever that she agreed to accept his help. If Aaron hadn’t died, her mother might not have left. Eddie might still be working in the store alongside Alyssa and their father. Cash had to try to make right the misery he’d caused, not that he would ever be able to do that.
“I’m surprised Eddie didn’t stick around to help you,” he said.
She scoffed. “I wish. Eddie spent last summer wrangling at a local ranch and decided that was what he wanted to do with his life, rather than running our family business as Dad had always intended. I’m happy for him, but—”
“But that leaves you high and dry.”
She nodded. “Exactly.”
“Which means you really do need my help.”
She looked uncertain. He slid his hand down her arm and reached for her hand. Her gaze dropped to where their fingers met but she didn’t remove her hand.
“You could have bid on anyone, but you bid on me. Let me help you.”
“I want