Afraid To Lose Her. Syndi Powell
your stitches?” He felt better talking about the coed softball team they cocaptained rather than the chance he could have lost her earlier. Easier to joke around than admit that he’d almost choked on his fear. He needed her more than he had realized, wanted her in a way he hadn’t known before. Pushing that thought aside, he leaned against one wall, his hands behind his back to avoid doing something stupid like touching her to make sure she was okay. “We’re not going to lose out to the Detroit Cop Union again. You need to be in fighting shape.”
She paled but nodded. “I will be.”
“Good.”
Perla pressed a kiss to Sherri’s forehead. “Your father, he’s been pacing the waiting room. Can I send him back?” When Sherri nodded, Perla looked up to Dez. “Would you mind going to get him?”
“Actually, Mama, I need to talk to Dez alone for a moment. Work stuff. Do you mind?”
Perla kissed Sherri again then left the room. Dez raised an eyebrow at Sherri. “You want to talk work stuff?”
“No. The doctor found something, and I don’t want Mama to know. Not yet.” She touched her chest above the white gauze that covered her wound. “A lump.”
Dez took a step forward and grasped the bed rail to keep from falling. What was she saying? “What kind of lump?”
“She doesn’t know, so that’s why she’s running more tests. Dez, I’m...” She broke off and reached out to touch his hand. “What if it’s cancer?”
He clasped her hand in his. “What if it’s not?”
She swallowed, and she looked so pale. As if the blood had drained from her face and out her wound. He noticed the IV that pumped blood into her, so that couldn’t be it. She brought her eyes up to his. “But what if it is? It’ll change everything.”
“Then we’ll deal with it if it is.” He squeezed her hand. “But chances are it’s not. What did the doctor think?”
“Better safe than sorry. And she did say the chances are small.”
He gave her a smile, hoping it showed her that he was more confident than he felt. “There you go. Stop worrying about the worst-case scenario and focus on the greater possibility that it’s nothing.”
Sherri let out a breath through her nose, and her nostrils flared. “Before we went into that warehouse, you remember what you said? Well, I got a bad feeling about this.”
* * *
THE HOUR UNTIL she could get into her mammogram turned into two. She sent her family home with promises to call when she was released. She’d even said goodbye to Dez, who watched her with a dark emotion shining from his chocolate-brown eyes. She hated to have dumped her thoughts on him, but that was what they did. They shared everything, and this was just one more thing to add to the pile.
She’d been changed into a light pink smock that tied in the front. She could lift her right shoulder a little, but the pain from her side limited her motion. The ER doctor quickly assisted her. Sherri looked at her. “You don’t have to stay with me, you know. Your job ended once I was cleaned and sutured.”
Dr. Sprader didn’t look at her but fastened the ties around Sherri’s side to keep the smock in place. “I know, but I remember this. Waiting for tests, and then results. And all the time wondering what did I do to deserve it?” She lifted her blue-gray eyes to meet Sherri’s. “I don’t want you to go through it alone like I did, Ms. Lopez. Besides, I’m off duty and can do what I want.”
“I’ll be fine. And it’s Sherri.”
Dr. Sprader took a deep breath. “I’m April.”
They walked out of the dressing room and into the waiting area that was painted and carpeted in various shades of pink. April gestured Sherri to a chair and grabbed a magazine. “They’re running behind so we could be waiting for a while.”
Sherri took the magazine and flipped through it, not able to focus on the images or words. Instead, her mind buzzed with possible outcomes. Finally, she dropped the magazine back onto the table and glanced around. Another woman in a similar pink smock gave her a tremulous smile, which Sherri tried to return, but found it too much of an effort. “When were you diagnosed?”
April looked up from her own magazine. “About a year ago. I was lucky since they found it early. But I have friends who weren’t so fortunate.”
“What happens next?”
“After the mammogram, a doctor will analyze the images then maybe nothing. I’ll take you back to the ER, and you can go home.” April touched her hand as if to reassure her this would be the result.
But Sherri was a realist, if nothing else. She could focus on what she hoped would be the outcome, but she needed to know all the facts. “And if it’s not nothing?”
“An ultrasound, and maybe a biopsy. It’ll be over before you know it.”
Biopsy meant more needles. Sherri gave a small shudder. “And then?”
“Let’s wait and see before we jump to any conclusions.”
The radiology doctor must not have liked Sherri’s images because she had the ultrasound and a biopsy and left the hospital with a promise that she would receive a call with results within the next few days. She called Mama to ask if one of her brothers could come pick her up and take her home.
But it was Dez who arrived in his slick dark blue sports car. He saw her standing at the entrance and got out of the car and ran to the passenger side to let her in. “What did they say?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He didn’t say a word, didn’t ask anything, as she buckled herself into the car and waited for him to get in and drive her home. But he reached out and held her hand the entire way home.
SHERRI KNOCKED ON Captain White’s office door and entered it when he called out her name. She handed him the typed report regarding the botched drug raid, and he started to skim it with interest. She took a seat and winced as she hit her side with the armrest. Captain White looked up at her. “You’re sure you’re fit to return to work?”
She’d already gotten the all clear from HR, but she nodded at her superior. “Yes, sir. It was just a twinge.”
He nodded and returned to reading her report. When he finished, he looked her over. “You think they got a tip?”
“They knew we were coming, sir. Why all the firepower when previous intelligence indicated little, or none?” She shook her head. “Agent Jackson agrees with my assessment.”
“Yes, he does.” The captain put her report on top of Dez’s and crossed his arms. “How are you really doing? If you need some time to recuperate from your injury...”
“I told you I’m fine. Sore, but nothing I can’t handle.” Her cell phone strapped to her belt buzzed. She saw the number and frowned. “Sorry, Captain, I need to take this. It’s the hospital.” She stepped out of his office and answered her phone. “Lopez here.”
“Ms. Lopez, I’m Dr. VanGilder from Detroit General. I received your biopsy results, and I was hoping you could set up an appointment to come in and discuss them.”
She plopped down on the edge of a nearby desk, her legs suddenly losing the ability to stay standing and upright. “So it’s bad news.”
There was a pause on the other end of the phone. “I’d really like to discuss this in person. Does tomorrow afternoon at four work for you?”
No. More like never worked for her. She didn’t want to meet and discuss anything with this doctor. She wanted to be given a pat