Renegade's Pride. B.J. Daniels
bed wearing his old T-shirt.
“You loved me once. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to love me again.”
She shook her head. “Do you realize how dangerous this is, you being back here? You’re wanted for questioning in a murder.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about things over the past nine years. I understand now why your brother was so sure I’d killed Gordon. Someone set me up and I intend to find out who and clear my name.”
“So you haven’t gotten any smarter is what you’re saying?”
He gave her a sad smile. “I don’t have a choice. If I want you back, I have to clear my name. But first I had to see you. I had to tell you that I never stopped loving you.”
She thought she’d known him, had known him since they were kids. But the man who’d left her waiting for him that night... She didn’t know him. Wasn’t sure she knew this man before her now. Did he really expect her to pick up where they’d left off? She had no idea where he’d been all these years or what he’d been doing, and said as much.
“I’ll tell you everything once I’m a free man,” he said as he rose from the bed and stepped over to her vanity, where he picked up the bottle of perfume he’d bought her for their first-year anniversary. The smell had become a part of her as familiar as her skin—until Trask left. She hadn’t used the scent for nine years. It reminded her too much of him.
Trask sprayed a little into the air, the scent rushing at her with all the memories of the two of them. She felt that old pull, stronger than gravity. When he looked at her, naked desire burned hot in his blue eyes. Clearly, the scent had the same effect on him.
“Just know that leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Yet somehow you managed it.” She wished he’d put down the perfume and leave.
“I don’t expect you to believe me any more than your brother Flint does, but I didn’t kill Gordon. Yes, I punched Gordon, believe me he had it coming. Then I went for a long drive up into the mountains. I knew hitting him was wrong. But I was more worried about you being disappointed in me. I needed that job for us.”
“He was all right when you left him?” she asked, needing to hear him say it again.
“He got to his feet and threatened to have your brother lock me up on assault charges, so he was his normal self. That’s why I decided to lay low for a while. I stayed up in the mountains, built a campfire, slept in my truck. It wasn’t until the next morning that I came back into town. By then I’d decided to try to make amends. I knew I couldn’t work for Gordon anymore, but I thought I could get on at the construction site, where Johnny was working. I’d been paying on an engagement ring for you—”
“I don’t want to hear this.” She’d thought he couldn’t do anything more to hurt her. An engagement ring? She felt as if her heart would burst.
“It’s true. I was going to ask you to marry me as soon as I got paid and picked up the ring.”
She couldn’t take any more of this. How did she even know he was telling the truth? Maybe he was just saying what he knew she desperately needed to hear. She met his gaze, saw pain in his blue eyes and felt another piece of her heart break.
“Then I heard that Gordon was dead, that he’d been killed with a pitchfork in his barn and that your brother was looking for me. I got scared. But I swear to you, Gordon was alive and well when I left his ranch.”
Her voice cracked when she asked, “If all this is true, then why didn’t you stay and prove you were innocent?”
He raked a hand through his dark hair, making her own fingers ache at the memory of its silken feel. “That was just it. I couldn’t prove I didn’t kill him. I had his blood on my shirt. I had no alibi. And let’s face it, I’d been in enough trouble that I couldn’t blame your brother for thinking I killed him. Not to mention, I’d threatened to kill him earlier in the day.”
“So I guess you’re right back where you were nine years ago.”
“No, I was twenty-two, just a saddle tramp who courted trouble nine years ago. I had nothing. I had nothing to offer you. And all of a sudden I’m wanted for murder? You were the only person who believed in me. Your brother wanted me gone as it was.” He held her gaze, his eyes pleading for her to understand. “Running was what I knew. Look at my mother, my old man. Things get tough, bail.”
“So you bailed. I ask again, what’s changed?”
He put down the perfume bottle and stepped toward the bed. “I needed to grow up and I did. I spent those years working hard, saving every dime and investing that money. All I could think about was coming back and making things right with the law, but especially you.” She started to interrupt, but he stopped her. “I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back because all I’ve ever wanted is you.”
These were words Lillie had dreamed of for years. But she couldn’t let herself trust them. He made it sound so easy, as if he could just come back and clear his name. The case had gone dead cold in nine years. How could he possibly prove his innocence? He’d run. He looked guilty. Maybe was guilty, she thought, even though in her heart she didn’t believe it. Would never believe it.
“Lillie, tell me there’s a chance for us once I’m free of all this.”
No fool would trust her heart to this cowboy. She thought of the years she’d yearned for him, hoping for just a word, anything. She hadn’t even known if he was still alive.
“I’m sorry, but it’s too little, too late,” she said with a shake of her head. “Nine years ago I was in love with you. Nine years ago I would have done anything to help you. But you left me waiting for you. You broke my heart.” The admission came out on a ragged breath before she could stop it. She raised her chin in defiance and lied through her teeth. “I’ve moved on.”
He cocked his head. “I don’t think so. You’re sleeping in a queen-size bed all by yourself wearing my old T-shirt. I know you’ve hardly dated since I left.”
He’d been keeping tabs on her through someone here in town? She bristled, outraged. “You kept track of me, but you didn’t bother to contact me?”
“I couldn’t. I knew your brother would expect that.” He sat down on the edge of the bed again. She moved to the far edge away from him. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Lillie. I was a fool. But I never stopped loving you. No matter what happens now, I’m not leaving until I get back what I lost.” He reached for her.
Lillie jumped up, dragging the quilt with her to put distance and clothing between them. She’d seen that look in Trask’s eyes too many times. It had always sparked a burning desire in her that matched his own. She didn’t know how much Trask had changed, but how he made her feel hadn’t. It would have been so easy to fall back into that empty bed with this man, this man she’d ached for all these years. Just to feel his arms around her...
“You need to leave before I call Flint,” she said, her voice warbling with both fear and a yearning that made her sick with need.
“You won’t do that, even if it is true and you don’t love me anymore. I only came here because I couldn’t let another day go by without telling you how I felt. I can understand that you’ve moved on.” His look said he didn’t understand it, couldn’t accept it. “But know this, I am no longer running when things get tough. I’m sticking it out. I love you, Lillie. That will never change no matter what.”
She said nothing. They stayed like that, eyeing each other across the empty bed, the crumpled sheets between them a reminder of what they’d once shared.
“I’m going to clear my name. Once I do, I’m coming for you. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Or fighting for you, if that’s what it takes.” With that, he stood, turned on his boot heel and headed for the door.
“Wait