A Daughter’s Sorrow. Cathy Sharp
face screwed up and I thought she was about to explode, but although she opened her mouth to tell him to mind his own business, she shut it again.
‘Get to bed before I change me mind,’ she said and scowled at me. ‘You can think yourself lucky that Mr Phillips spoke up for you. If I had my way I’d give you a good thrashing!’
I turned and fled towards the stairs, not stopping until I was in my own room.
Tommy sat up and looked at me. ‘Where’s our Lainie?’ he asked sleepily, clenched fists rubbing at his eyes.
‘She’s gone out to see a friend,’ I said and hushed him with a kiss on the top of his head. He smelled so good after I’d had him in the bath and scrubbed his hair with strong soap – the same as I used to scrub the house. Tommy hated it, but he hated the nits worse and I made sure he went to bed clean – even if he came back filthy every night. ‘Go back to sleep, darlin’.’
I held my brother closer, feeling protective towards him as I felt how thin and frail he was. There was no way I could ever walk out on him because he wouldn’t stand a chance left alone with Mam.
‘What happened to you, Bridget?’ Tommy touched my cheek and found a smear of blood. ‘Are you hurt?’ He looked anxious, as if afraid that I might suddenly disappear too.
I glanced down at myself, repressing the shiver that ran through me as his words reminded me of what had almost happened. Rape was something all decent girls lived in fear of, which was why we took notice of our mothers and didn’t go walking alone at night.
‘It’s nothing, darlin’ – just a tumble on some mud in the lane. You know how dirty it gets at this time of year. It was probably a bit icy, it’s freezin’ out so it is. I fell and banged my head. It knocked me out for a moment, but I’m all right.’
‘Let me look.’ Tommy scrambled out of bed.
‘Can you see anything?’
‘It’s cut open. Shall I bathe it for you, our Bridget?’
‘Will you, darlin’?’ I caught his hand as I saw the troubled look in his eyes. ‘Don’t look so worried, it’s nothing much. I might have a bit of a headache, but I’m all right.’
I poured some water into the earthenware bowl from the washstand and sat on the bed for Tommy to bathe the cut on my head. He was as careful as he could be, but it stung and I winced a couple of times.
‘I’m sorry, Bridget.’
‘It’s all right, Tommy. Let’s get to bed, darlin’, or you’ll be too tired for school in the morning.’
We got into bed together, me holding him as he settled to sleep. I wished I could sleep as easily and I fought desperately to stop myself thinking about Harry Wright and what he had almost done to me. I knew Jamie would have gone after him if I’d told him, and he had such a temper there was no telling what he might do.
It was quiet down in the kitchen now. Mam would be having a drop of the good stuff with her lodger before they came up – to separate rooms. Mam had made it plain to her lodger there was to be no funny stuff. She slept with Tommy as a rule and Mr Phillips had the room that had been Jamie’s and Tommy’s before Da disappeared. If Jamie came home at all, he would sleep on the couch, but most nights he stayed with a friend, leastwise that’s what he told Mam. I had heard stories that would make Martha O’Rourke’s hair curl, but I kept them to myself. There was enough trouble in the house as it was without stirring up more. Still, now that Lainie had gone perhaps things would settle down for a while …
As I lay sleepless beside my brother, I wondered what had happened to turn Martha O’Rourke into the hard cold woman she was. Had it happened when her husband had killed a man in a violent fight on the docks?
I knew Mam’s life had been hard these past years, but that didn’t account for her violent rages. Some of our neighbours had it even harder than us – though we were going to miss Lainie’s money. But there was real hatred in Martha O’Rourke.
Lainie was right when she said that Mam had always hated her. She’d never been as bad with me as she was with Lainie but that might change now I was the only daughter at home.
I shivered and snuggled into the warmth of my sleeping brother’s body. There wasn’t much point in worrying over something I couldn’t change. I’d had a lucky escape thanks to Joe Robinson and I would take good care not to give Harry Wright another chance to attack me.
Sighing, I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. It would soon be morning and I had to be up early.
Mam looked heavy-eyed when she came down the next morning. She had slept late and I’d already scrubbed the front step and given Tommy his slice of bread and dripping. He hadn’t wanted it, complaining that it made him feel sick, but I’d coaxed him into eating it.
‘Have you done them stairs yet, you lazy little cat? You can tell that boss o’ yours this mornin’ that I want you setting on in the works. You’ll earn more there than in that fancy office.’
‘You know he won’t give me Lainie’s job. She was on the ales and I’m too young. He gave me my job because I can’t start in the brewery proper until I’m eighteen. It’s his policy and he won’t change it for me.’
‘His policy is it?’ She sneered at me, an ugly expression on her face. ‘What fancy talk is that? Don’t you put on your posh airs with me, miss! You tell him what I said. If he won’t pay you at least four shillings a week you can go scrubbin’ floors.’
I didn’t want to work on the ales or scrub floors, but knew better than to answer my mother back when she was in this mood.
‘Get your brother ready first,’ she said. ‘I’m off down the market before the best stuff is gone.’ The front door slammed as she went out.
‘What do you want to take for your dinner at school, darlin’?’
‘Nothing. I ain’t hungry.’ Tommy coughed, a harsh sound that made me look at him anxiously
‘You must eat something,’ I urged. He was so thin, a puff of wind might blow him away! ‘Bread and jam do, love?’ He nodded unhappily. ‘Take it with you and promise me you’ll eat it and I’ll get you an egg for your tea.’
‘A whole egg just for me?’ Tommy brightened a little. ‘With bread and butter and not dripping?’
‘I get my wages today. Mr Dawson promised me a rise. I’ll keep a few pence back for us. Mam won’t know any different. Just eat your dinner in the playground like a good boy. Then I promise I’ll get that egg for your tea.’
‘Mam will hit you if she finds out you didn’t give her all your wages.’
‘If she can catch me.’ I was relieved to see a smile poke through at last. I loved this brother of mine more than anything or anyone in the whole world, and sometimes I was desperately afraid I was going to lose him. ‘You and me won’t tell her, will we? I’ll let on Fred Pearce gave me the eggs.’
‘Mam says he’s a dirty old man.’
Fred lived at the end of the lane in a house that looked as if the windows hadn’t been washed since he’d been there, and people often avoided him when he was trundling his little cart up the street, but I liked him and we often stopped for a chat when we met.
‘He doesn’t wash much, but I don’t suppose he can afford the soap,’ I said, deliberately ignoring what I knew was implied by Mam’s harsh words.
‘I don’t think that’s what Mam meant. She pulled a funny face the way she does, and said he’d have your knickers off you, if you don’t watch it.’
‘Mam says a lot of daft things