Colton's Fugitive Family. Jennifer Morey
am never going to get him to sleep if you keep that up.”
“We can hang out for a little while.” Lucas cradled the baby in one arm as though he’d held infants all his life.
“How are you so adept at handling babies?”
“Friends and family gatherings.”
“You like them.”
“Kids? Yeah, of course. What’s not to like?” He offered his pinky and Wolf grabbed hold. “Yeah.”
His sing-song tone contrasted mightily with all his brawn. Adoration suffused her. After that kiss, the whole spectacle warmed her much more, having more sentimentality and heat.
“You said you don’t want to have kids.”
“Not my own. It’s easy to enjoy them when they aren’t yours.”
A laugh bubbled up and out of her. She used to think the same before Wolf came along.
“He’ll have to sleep between us tonight,” Lucas said in his normal man tone. Then, to Wolf, the sound changing again, he said, “Won’t you? Yeah.” He brushed his nose with the baby’s, eliciting another raucous bout of giggles. “We can’t have you rolling off anything.”
The baby would serve as a barrier between them. Demi should be glad for that.
“Are you sure you won’t roll onto him?” she asked.
“I doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight anyway. I won’t roll over on him.” Lucas’s voice reverted to the animated version for the last declaration. “No I won’t.”
“How did I ever miss this Jerry Maguire character you have in you?”
His deep chuckle rendered Wolf still. His eyes grew big and he stared up at Lucas as though the rich sound fascinated him.
I’m with you, pal. More than his voice fascinates me.
Demi had to endure another half hour of Lucas playing with Wolf before sleepiness finally took over and the baby conked out in his arms. She also had to endure the way Lucas watched the transition from play to sleep. He held Wolf until the phone rang, signaling their pizza had arrived.
Demi took Wolf from him and laid the baby on the bed while Lucas took care of the pizza delivery. She arranged a blanket around Wolf and leaned down to kiss his forehead. She wasn’t accustomed to sharing him with anyone. No one else had been around. She had to admit to a little jealousy, seeing how smitten her son was with Lucas. More disturbing, though, was how Lucas bonded with him. Wolf could almost be his own son. Being his brother’s son was close enough.
Lucas put the pizza on the oval wood coffee table and retrieved some paper towels from the counter next to the microwave.
It was after seven, and she was starving. She sat next to him on the sage sofa. He handed her a slice on a paper towel.
“I don’t understand why you deprive yourself of having children when you love them so much.”
He chewed a bite of his own slice and looked at her. After he swallowed, he said, “Eat.”
“No, really. Why do you?” To make him happy, she bit into her pizza.
“I don’t look at it like I’m depriving myself.”
“But you are.” He’d made the decision not to have them when it was obvious he adored them.
“I enjoy other people’s kids. Why do I have to have my own to satisfy that urge?”
He called it an urge?
“Did you plan on having Wolf?” he asked.
She scoffed. “No. He was an accident. A very special one.”
“Did you plan on having kids in general?”
She supposed she deserved the questions since she’d gone after him for answers on the same matter. “Actually, no. I hadn’t given it much thought. Having them wasn’t a top priority. Don’t ask me why.”
“But after Bo, you decided to stay away from marriage?”
“Marriage, at least for a while, and definitely not until I find a man I can trust. If I never do, that’s okay with me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, good, because I don’t believe you, either.”
And she didn’t trust him, either. He didn’t believe she’d stay away from marriage and she didn’t believe he would, either. Where did that leave them?
Early the next morning, Lucas woke before Wolf and Demi. He rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand. Snuggled in a blanket on top of the comforter, the baby breathed evenly. Long, fine, dark-red eyelashes rested on his cheeks. Lucas didn’t like how Demi’s question bothered him. He did like kids. They didn’t have a worry in the world and always gravitated toward fun and adventure. His favorite camping trips were the ones with big groups and kids.
Whenever he thought of having kids of his own, he also thought of how devastating it would be to lose them. He enjoyed other people’s kids. He’d feel a lot stronger about his own. He knew people who’d lost a child. It changed them beyond compare. No parent should have to go through that, but the sad reality was, in life there was death. The only death he needed to suffer was his own.
After spending time with Demi and Wolf, though, he wondered if he’d made the wrong choice. He understood most people would not relate to his decision not to marry or have kids. He knew it was drastic. He also knew that he never, ever wanted to feel what his father had felt and lose touch with those around him, even his kids.
Lucas had needed his father after his mother died. He hadn’t had his father. He didn’t really have him to this day. His father was a quiet, solitary man. Successful, no arguing that, but detached from the rest of society. He functioned. He socialized. From the outside, no one would guess a depressed man struggled to survive day-to-day. On the inside a completely different man lived. He felt neither joy nor sorrow anymore. He’d lost too much. Money had meaning and nothing else. Money would not hurt him. Love would.
Lucas didn’t live in isolation. Money didn’t mean that much to him beyond being a necessity. He wasn’t afraid of love, either. He just never wanted to be hurt the way his father had been hurt. It was a conscious decision.
He could just hear Demi argue with him. She argued with him a lot. That’s why they butted heads so often.
“If you avoid love because you don’t want to be hurt, then you’re afraid,” she’d say. Or something similar.
Once he fell in love, his well-being would depend on the well-being of the woman he loved. Who had control over something like that? Nobody, that’s who. Unless a person chose not to fall in love. He controlled his destiny.
Demi stirred, taking a deep breath followed by a long stretch. The comforter slid off her breasts, which stood out with the arch of her back. Even her modest pj top didn’t minimize the shape of her perky chest. She had an athletic body, something that had always attracted him.
Her eyes blinked open. She turned her head and their eyes met, hers sleepy, and he was sure his were heating up.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Watching Wolf sleep.”
She smiled softly and rolled to her side to look at her son. The motherly love that swept her expression left him no illusions as to what she felt for her baby. Their bond was powerful.
Feeling himself slipping ever deeper into this domestic bliss, Lucas pushed the covers off and got up. He busied himself