Self-Healing: The only introduction you’ll ever need. David Lawson
THE HEAD, THE HEART AND THE VOICE
Many natural healing traditions work by aligning the head, the heart and the voice. Native American and other indigenous cultures from around the world have systems of healing that are passed down from generation to generation. They include the use of natural medicines, sacred rituals and an understanding of human nature that so-called civilized cultures are having to relearn. An essential understanding of human nature includes the knowledge that when the head, the heart and the voice are in conflict then there will be an imbalance, and disease or disharmony will follow.
The head is, of course, our unique collection of thoughts, beliefs attitudes, judgements and opinions; the heart is our wealth of feelings, emotions, instincts and physical sensations; the voice is our expression, our communication and our creativity. The modern world places a strong emphasis on the head. We live at a time when the pace is generally getting faster and the technology that we are using makes it necessary for us to update and expand our knowledge constantly. Our educational systems are more concerned with the acquisition of facts than they are with teaching us to express ourselves properly and to be in touch with our feelings and intuition.
It is true that the numerous advances in technology, science and human knowledge are miraculous gifts. If used with wisdom and awareness they can transform many areas of our lives for the better – but we need to keep ourselves balanced in order to develop that wisdom. For each of us individually, keeping our heads, hearts and voices in alignment is the best way that we can negotiate and transcend the stresses of modern living.
SUZANNE’S STORY
Suzanne was a woman with a very passionate, expressive nature whose instincts compelled her to respond to life with emotion, compassion and sensitivity. When she first came to me for a healing and counselling session she was feeling stuck and frustrated. Nothing seemed to be working for her in her career or personal life and she had regular periods of depression. Sometimes her depressions would last for weeks; she described them as being marooned from life as if she were living on some colourless desert island, disconnected from the rest of the world.
Experiences like this can be very common. Many of us have felt cut off from other people or cut off from ourselves. Listening to this sensitive person talk about her life I became aware that I could hear different messages coming from different parts of her being. I shared the idea with Suzanne that we all need to have our heads, our hearts and our voices in alignment, and asked her to tell me what she was feeling in her heart.
Suzanne told me how she was often easily moved to tears – anything from a beautiful piece of music to the simplest gesture of love would bring tears of joy, sadness and release. She also told me that during her periods of depression she sometimes lost her ability to feel anything and that would distress her. At times she would have the pain of emotion sticking in her throat. Indeed, she regularly suffered from a sore throat and occasionally lost her voice completely.
I asked her what she thought about her emotions and Suzanne told me that she loved to have them but that she was afraid that they might be a bad thing. She thought that it was not healthy to be too emotional. When she was a little girl Suzanne’s father had told her off for being ‘too sensitive’. He had told her that she ought to control her emotions because to do otherwise left her open to being taken advantage of by other people. He had given her the idea that to be strong and self-reliant meant hiding her sensitivity away from the world.
Suzanne’s heart was filled with positive, emotional energy but her head was filled with many limiting beliefs and judgements about expressing her emotion. The result was that Suzanne’s voice was confused: sometimes it expressed the feelings that were present and sometimes it choked them back, literally, and that was when Suzanne became sick or depressed. The colour and inspiration of Suzanne’s life were all tied up in her emotional nature, and it was through her feelings that she had the most valuable contact with other people and with the world around her. It is no surprise that she felt marooned on a colourless island when she felt restrained from expressing herself.
The more that Suzanne let go of her judgements and allowed herself to be sensitive and passionate, the more joyful she felt, the less depressed she was and the more her life worked for her. She learned to think and speak in ways that expressed her true nature, and her head, her heart and her voice moved into alignment. It is interesting to note that when she gave herself full permission to be emotional she discovered that she did not always need to be. What is more, she learned to feel strong and safe whether she was emotional or not.
THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND EXPRESSION
For many of us the conflict between the feelings or desires of our hearts and the beliefs and judgements that we hold in our heads can create stress in our bodies that manifests as physical illness or repetitive problems whether in our relationships, our careers or our financial security. Our voices are left confused, expressing mixed messages or, in some cases, very little at all. We do not say what we mean, nor do we truly mean what we say.
If, for example, we feel very angry because someone we love has abused or disregarded us in some way but we hold a belief that we do not have the right to be angry, we may find ourselves expressing anger in indirect ways such as by whining, moaning, being sarcastic or blaming ourselves for our predicament. Sooner or later that tension will create an illness inside us or adversely affect our ability to communicate properly with other people.
The good news is that we always have a choice to change this kind of damaging pattern, trading in unhealthy beliefs for healthy ones and releasing destructive forms of communication in favour of the kind of expression that will bring us positive results. In this way we can always help ourselves to stay in good health.
By changing our negative, limiting or judgemental beliefs into positive, accepting, permissive ones we support our feelings, needs and desires, discovering healthy, loving ways to express them. By developing the belief that it is safe for us to express our anger, we can be honest with the people around us, seek new solutions to conflicts of interest and leave ourselves free to express more of the love that we have in our hearts. Love is often trapped and obscured by anger or fear that we feel unable to express and let go of.
Exercise: Aligning the Head, the Heart and the Voice
For this exercise you will need 20 minutes of peace and quiet, somewhere comfortable to sit, and a pen and paper.
Start by sitting quietly and breathing deeply, consciously slowing down your breath a little so that you become settled and calm.
Next, think about one specific health issue that you have, or something else that is challenging you at the moment. It could be a problem with a relationship or some aspect of your work that is frustrating you.
Focus first on your heart. Take a few moments to ask yourself the question ‘What do I feel about this in my heart?’ If it helps, you could place your hand on your chest and imagine that, as you breathe, you breathe directly into your heart and the feelings that you have inside you.
Do you feel sad?
Do you feel angry?
Do you feel joyful? confused? numb? disappointed? hurt? passionate? excited? scared?
Do you have desires or needs pulsing away in your heart that need to be acknowledged and expressed?
Listen to your feelings and notice them.
Next, focus on your head. Ask yourself the question ‘What do I think about this?’ As you breathe, imagine that you are able to shine a light on to your thoughts and beliefs to make them more visible. Ask yourself:
‘What do I think about this health issue, challenge or problem?’