Fatal. Jacqui Rose
down. He continued to speak, his voice cracking on every word. ‘I feel so helpless and I’m so fucking angry with myself. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m scared. I’m scared for Alice, because this isn’t going to be over anytime soon.’
Franny grabbed hold of Cabhan’s arm, pulling him towards the door of the room, and gently pushed him outside into the warm Montana air.
Looking out towards the vast, rugged hillside, Franny smiled compassionately. ‘Let’s not talk in there, Cab, you don’t want Alice to wake up and see you upset. And we don’t want Alice to know anything about the Russos, you hear me?’
‘So what are we going to tell her?’
Franny shrugged, her eyes darting around as she kept watch on the road. Although she’d never admit it, she felt the same air of unease as Cabhan did, but the last thing he needed was for her to crumple as well. The other thing she didn’t really want to admit, not even to herself, was that she wished Alfie were here. She missed him so much, plus he would know what to do, because right now she didn’t think she was doing such a great job of looking after Cabhan or Alice. Of course, she knew she had to be strong – the problem was she didn’t feel very strong at all. ‘I don’t know, Cab. Why don’t we tell her it was a robbery?’
‘A robbery? More like a fucking homicidal maniac. Have you seen the news? Seen what they’re saying about it? They’re coming up with all sorts of ideas about how it happened. Cults, crazed killers, the other night they were even mentioning terrorists.’
‘Then that’s good, isn’t it? It means they’re not talking about Nico and they’re not talking about us. So we don’t have to tell Alice anything apart from it was a robbery, because nobody knows the truth and that’s the way it’s going to stay.’
Cabhan stared hard at Franny, his thoughts racing. ‘You can be cold sometimes. Does nothing bother you, Fran? Are you really that hard? Just wipe it away like it never happened?’
A flicker of hurt crossed through Franny’s eyes, which went unseen by Cabhan. ‘That’s not how it is.’
‘Really? Because it seems like you’re forgetting those kids, those nuns, are only dead because of me.’
‘Because of Nico, not you.’
Cabhan shook his head as he kicked at the white dusty ground in angry bemusement. ‘You’re something else, you know that?’
‘All I know is that we need to think about now, about Alice and about how we’re going to get out of this mess. The last thing we want to do is start telling Alice any more than she needs to know.’
‘So what you’re saying is tell her nothing and get on with our lives, is that it?’
Feeling edgy as a car appeared in the distance, Franny nodded. ‘If we can, that’s exactly what we do. Look, Cab, someone has to be practical about this. I’m just trying to do what’s best for Alice and if that makes me cold, that’s totally fine with me.’
Emotional, unable to look at Franny, Cabhan continued to stare at the ground. ‘I’m just so fucked off with myself. I mean, how did they know where she was? How did they find her? I was so careful, or I thought I was. I was a fool, Fran, to think that I could’ve walked away scot-free from killing Ally.’
‘Cab, it was an accident, when will you get that into your head?’
Becoming angry again, Cabhan raised his voice. ‘But the blood of so many people is on my hands. If it wasn’t for me they’d all be alive. Have you any idea how that feels, Fran?’
Gently, Franny pulled Cabhan towards her. ‘No, no, I don’t, but you’ve got to give yourself a break. Stop beating yourself up. I know it sounds heartless, but it’s happened now. There’s nothing we can do, so we need to put all our energy into getting out of this mess. On keeping Alice safe.’
Lighting a cigarette, Cabhan nodded gratefully. ‘I know you’re right, but I’ve no idea how. I’ve never felt this useless since what happened to your dad. We’re fucked, Fran.’
‘No, Cab, we’re not, I won’t let that happen. Look, I think we should go back to England. To Essex. At least there we’ve got people around us, and I don’t think they’ll come looking for us there. Once I see Alfie face-to-face, I’m sure I can make him come around.’
Cabhan, knowing Alfie very well, raised his eyebrows.
‘You sure about that? This is Alf we’re talking about. Remember, he told me if I went to work for the Russos, I’d be on my own. He’s made it very clear how he feels.’
Sounding just as unconvinced as she felt, Franny said, ‘It’ll be fine. At the moment he doesn’t know why I took the money, but once he does he’ll understand. Alfie is …’ She trailed off, not wanting to think about his reaction, especially after his last message yesterday, which was full of threats and anger. But underneath it all she could also hear his hurt, which sliced at her heart … Quickly wanting to change her train of thought because it felt too raw, too painful, Franny continued, ‘Anyway … look, we’ve got our passports and I’ve checked the flights. We can get one in four days’ time from Missoula International, then get connecting flights from there. And then it’s back to Essex.’
Taking a deep drag and letting the smoke slowly ebb out of his nose, Cab tried not to sound frustrated. ‘Hate to say it, Fran, aren’t you forgetting one thing? Money. We need money.’
Franny rested her head on Cabhan’s shoulder and sighed. ‘Look, don’t worry about that. Trust me. I’ve got an idea.’
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