Little Darlings. Melanie Golding
she liked Amy. Probably too much. It felt dangerous, that feeling, something she couldn’t control, that got bigger even as she tried to banish it, to tell herself that these were the feelings that hurt you eventually, that destroyed lives, that needed to be ignored. She’d followed her heart once, when she was too young to know how completely a heart could be shattered. She wasn’t going to do it again. Besides, they had something good going, professionally, and it would be a shame to spoil it.
Amy glanced towards the uniforms loading the van, and Harper could tell she was already checking them out, trying to discern who might be likely to fall for those charms and spill the beans.
Then Amy looked back at Harper and frowned. She stepped up closer, close enough that Harper could smell her perfume. Her eyes sharpened as she examined Harper’s face. ‘What is it?’
‘What’s what?’ said Harper.
‘There’s something the matter. Tell me.’
‘I’ve just had a bit of a shitty day, I suppose.’
‘Oh? You mean, apart from this?’ She gestured over her shoulder at the two council workers hosing the road.
Harper nodded. She pondered how much she ought to tell Amy about the Lauren Tranter case; she didn’t want her thinking it was a story she could report in the newspaper. ‘Can we speak as friends?’ said Harper.
Amy said, ‘Of course.’
‘First thing this morning, there was this attempted abduction at the maternity ward. Identical twins.’
Amy scrabbled in her bag for the recording device. ‘Now, this is news. Tell me everything.’
Harper grabbed hold of Amy’s arm. ‘No. I can’t. I mean, it was a false alarm. There’s nothing to report.’
‘So why are you telling me about it?’
She had a point. ‘I don’t know.’
Amy looked down at where Harper held her by the wrist. She gave a half smile, raised her eyebrows. Harper let go, her cheeks flushing. Amy’s skin was warm and soft, and Harper’s grip had left a small pink mark that she wanted to stroke. Maybe even to kiss it better. Harper said, ‘I’m sorry,’ and searched Amy’s face, wondering what was happening, if anything was happening. But the moment, seemingly, had passed.
‘Come on, Joanna. You’re usually so pragmatic about the job. Just now, you went right up to that poor dead guy and closed his eyes. With your bare hands. I couldn’t have done that.’
‘I guess we all have our soft spots. Suicides, I can just about handle. But anything to do with babies being abducted, well. It gets to me.’
They held each other’s gaze for a moment, and Harper thought, this is it. She’s going to ask me the question, right now. And I’ll spill it, every bit. She’ll say, why does it get to you, Joanna? You don’t have any children, do you? And I’ll say, I did once, but I lost her. I was too young to know what it would mean, or that I even had a choice. I let them take her, and it was like part of me had been taken: a limb, or half of my heart. After that I stopped thinking about it, because I had to, in order to survive. But sometimes I forget to not think about it, and it’s like it happened yesterday. It’s like I have to get her back, and the feeling won’t go away until I do. Even though it’s twenty-six years too late to change anything.
Behind them the van doors slammed shut. Only a couple of officers remained, and they were heading towards their vehicles, speaking into radios, off to the next thing.
Amy said, ‘Look, I just need to have a quick chat with one of these guys before they disappear. How about we meet up for a coffee? Tomorrow? Next week? I’ll be in touch.’
‘Great,’ said Harper, watching as Amy scooted across the road after one of Harper’s colleagues, already clutching the recorder. ‘Text me?’ said Harper, but Amy was too far away to hear.
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