Blink and You Die. Lauren Child
you around, Mo,’ said the man as he turned to leave.
‘See you Sven, see you Spike, don’t be strangers.’
When they reached the door the storekeeper shouted, ‘Lemon! Anagram of melon, from cantaloupe.’
‘Of course! Can’t think how I missed it,’ called Sven.
The storekeeper turned to Ruby. ‘He’s a cryptic crossword nut,’ he explained. ‘So what can I help you with?’ he asked.
‘That’s your name?’ asked Ruby. ‘Mo?’
‘It’s what everyone calls me.’ He looked at her. ‘So what do they call you?’
‘Ruby,’ said Ruby.
The storekeeper shrugged. ‘I had you down for something more edgy,’ he said.
‘What, like Spike?’ suggested Ruby.
He shrugged again. ‘You could carry a name like Spike,’ he said.
‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ said Ruby.
‘That’s how I meant it,’ said Mo.
‘So this is my pal Clancy.’
Mo nodded. ‘Good to meet you, Clancy – what can I do you two for?’
‘Hen of the woods,’ said Ruby.
‘You’ve left it a bit late in the season,’ said the storekeeper.
‘I have?’ asked Ruby. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Pretty sure,’ said the guy. ‘It’s one of the few things I know something about.’
‘You seem OK at crosswords,’ said Clancy.
He smiled. ‘Yeah, that’s the other thing …’ he said. ‘So the maitake season is from late August to late November and I usually order in from my mushroom lady out in Minnesota.’
Ruby looked disappointed enough for the guy to reach for a pen and paper.
‘I’ll make a note and see what I can do, you might get lucky. It’s been a pretty weird season, weather-wise,’ he said, turning to the calendar hanging on the wall. ‘She won’t be around until next week; can you hang on a day or two?’
‘I guess,’ said Ruby, ‘but it’s a long way to come for a bunch of fungi. I don’t spose you’re going to be visiting Twinford this week?’
‘Not if I can help it,’ said Mo. ‘It’s noisy and full of people.’
‘That’s what I like about it.’
‘Each to their own,’ said Mo. ‘A nice quiet life is what suits me.’
Clancy was beginning to think it might also suit him. He liked it up here with the trees and the condors and the lack of serious crime since 1951.
Ruby sighed. ‘I’ll do my best to make it back, but could you maybe call me when you’re certain you got them?’
‘Sure,’ said Mo, ‘give me your digits.’
Ruby scribbled down her number and the guy pinned it up on the pinboard behind him.
‘Is there anything to see in this town?’ asked Clancy.
‘More than you’d think,’ said Mo.
‘My friend here is keen on UFOs and little green men from Mars,’ said Ruby. ‘Anything like that around?’
‘Call in at the Little Green Diner. They do a mean Space Burger, ask for a side of Mars fries and tell Silas that Mo sent you and he’ll give you a deal.’
As they were going out the door they heard the phone ring; Mo picked up. ‘How many letters?’ he said.
Ruby could see that for Clancy stepping into the Little Green Diner was pretty special. It had been wallpapered in space pictures: Apollo 13, the space craft which made the ill-fated third manned trip to the surface of moon, took up most of one wall and a possible UFO sighting filled another.
Ruby and Clancy walked up to the counter.
‘Mo said to say he sent us,’ said Ruby.
‘Oh, he did, did he?’ said Silas. ‘So I guess you’ll be getting a deal.’
‘Have you ever seen a UFO Rube?’ asked Clancy, not waiting for an answer. ‘I think I saw one once, took a photograph too, but my sister Lulu says it was actually a Frisbee and to be honest there’s no telling.’
‘I think you’d know,’ said a small, thin guy sitting at the counter. ‘When I saw my first UFO, I was in no doubt about what I’d just been witness to.’
‘Well, hang on a tiny minute, Walter,’ said the enormous man who sat on the stool next to him. ‘The thing is, no one exactly knows what they are looking for, so it’s easy to get it wrong.’
‘I’m not disagreeing with you there, Duke, but when you’ve seen one, you’ve seen one, and I’ve seen two.’
‘It’s true,’ said Duke, ‘he’s seen a couple.’
Clancy was all ears. ‘So what did it look like?’ he asked.
‘How you’d expect,’ said Walter. ‘A craft unusual in appearance, moving pretty fast across the night sky, bright lights, no markings.’
‘How do you know it had no markings if it was dark and moving at speed?’ asked Silas, who had doubtless quizzed Walter about this many times before.
‘I know what I saw,’ said Walter, crossing his arms.
‘Why do you think Little Mountain Side attracted so many UFOs?’ asked Ruby.
‘Because of the space base,’ said Walter.
‘Space base?’ asked Clancy. ‘There was an actual space base here?’
‘No,’ said Silas.
‘Uh-huh,’ said Walter, ignoring him. ‘It was some kinda space operation? In the Sequoia Mountains.’
‘It was an energy plant,’ said Silas.
‘Oh yeah, so how do you explain all the comings and goings, all the activity?’ said Walter.
‘There were more than a thousand people working there, what do you expect?’ said Silas.
‘I’m not talking about any power plant,’ said Walter, ‘I’m talking about something covert here, you know –’ he leant in close – ‘to welcome the aliens.’
‘Really?’ said Clancy.
‘That’s what they say,’ said Duke.
‘Who says?’ asked Ruby.
‘No one,’ said Silas. ‘This is Walt talking garbage, as usual.’
‘He’s not a believer,’ said Duke, pointing his thumb at Silas, ‘that’s his trouble.’
‘Likes to cash in on it though,’ said Walter, holding up a flying saucer serviette.
It was actually all good-natured banter, and clearly had been said a thousand times before.
‘So if there was a space base somewhere here on this mountainside, then why doesn’t anyone talk about it?’ asked Clancy.
‘It was all very much on the downlow, if you know what I’m saying,’ said Duke. ‘Not for civilians to know about.’
Silas shook his head. ‘You guys and your conspiracy theories. It’s a bunch of hogwash. Sven’s father worked at the plant for a whole number of years and he never once mentioned little green men from Mars.’
‘Well, he wouldn’t, would he,’ said Walter.
Duke